Idiot Answers (clean of course!)

[zebedee]

When someone once made the statement "I'm a lesbian!" the question came straight back... "Oh, really? What part of Lesbia are you from?"

Anybody else got any idiot answers to reasonable questions or statements?

[zebedee]

How do Eskimo’s catch polar bears?



They put on big, heavy boots, dig a hole in the ice and put peas round it. When the polar bear comes along, sees the hole and leans down for a pee, they rush up with their big heavy boots and kick it in the icehole.

[bubblewrap]

Why don't polar bears eat penguins?

Because the cant get the chocolate stains out of their coats.

[bubblewrap]

What's the best wat to protect your self from attack from a polar bear?

Dress up as a penguin as polar bears never attack penguins.

[NOG]

When they say that "my mum made me a lesbian" reply "if I gave her some wool would she make me one"

[HayleyB]

Why don't polar bears attack penguins?

They can't reach 'em

[Incy]

I'm sensing a bit of a lesbian polar bear theme going on here

[Hilary B]

What is small, grey, and got 4 legs and a trunk?

A mouse going on holiday

What is small, brown, and got 4 leggs and a trunk????

if no-one knows I'll post the reply later<g>

[bubblewrap]

What is small, grey, and got 4 legs and a trunk?

A mouse going on holiday

What is small, brown, and got 4 leggs and a trunk????

if no-one knows I'll post the reply later<g>

A chocolate coated mouse going on holiday?

[StephenH]

When someone once made the statement "I'm a lesbian!" the question came straight back... "Oh, really? What part of Lesbia are you from?"

Anybody else got any idiot answers to reasonable questions or statements?

Reminds me of an anecdote I heard from a friend. She and a friend of hers were at a party, and getting increasingly annoyed by a snooty, loud, opinionated woman. Eventually, in response to some comment about the food, snooty woman said "Actually, I'm a vegan." My friend's friend immediately responded "Well, **** off back to Vega, then!".

[beefy]

While cutting the grass and giving a nursery school a quick tidy up the other day the teacher told us that young Amy had stung herself on a nettle up there somewhere and vaguely pointed in the general direction of the hedge and could we pull and remove it . No problem we said and spent the next 10 minutes searching for a nettle in a 100 foot long hedge - we found nothing . After seeing us the teacher called little Amy over and asked her "Where did you get stung at Amy? Can you show us? "
Amy put her head down and went all shy - and then pointed -










to the back of her hand "There Miss".
We never found the nettle.

[basketcase]

What is small, grey, and got 4 legs and a trunk?

A mouse going on holiday

What is small, brown, and got 4 leggs and a trunk????

if no-one knows I'll post the reply later<g>

Ooh, ooh! I know this one...




But I won't spoil it for you!

[scarey55]

The best one was Du Management on Hale and Pace.

"I don't like clapping"
"I don't like any railway stations"

And, back to the polar bear thing - why don't polar bears eat penguins? Cause they can't get the wrapper off.
boom boom

[Comfreyfan]

FIL told me once that SIL was sharing a house with a Lebanese couple - I honestly thought they were from the Lebanon, I didn't realise he was being coy!

[NOG]

How do you get 2 whales in a Mini.............