Idiot Answers (clean of course!)

[Rocketron]

How do you get 2 whales in a Mini.............

Follow the M4 ?

[bubblewrap]

How do you get 2 whales in a Mini.............

Depends on where you're starting from!

[Hilary B]

Ooh, ooh! I know this one...




But I won't spoil it for you!

Looks like no-one else realises how it works
The 'small and brown with 4 legs and a trunk' is the same mouse COMING HOME from holiday!

[julesapple]

Whilst out today;

"Excuse me, please can you tell me where the ladies toilets are?"

Answer

"Next to the gents, love"


A real 'Microsoft' answer - technically correct, but bl**dy useless.

Jules

[geoff]

When my daughter was about 10 or 11 we chatted about what she might be/do when she grew up, and she said she would like to be a teacher
"Oh yes", we said, "What are you going to teach?" (Knowing that her favourite subjects were history and English)
She looked at us with a mixture of pity and scorn, and replied; "Children, of course!"

[Incy]

I was told a fun story last night. My friend came round to collect some plants I had been growing for her and told me that many years ago she had an allotment and a good friend of hers came to visit. He was admiring her crops and when she showed him her sweetcorn said " how lovely, what sort are you growing, on the cob or the loose kind?".....Amazing how many people don't know where there food comes from! Had me in stitches

[NOG]

When I went to the Hospital the last time they asked if I smoked as I said no but I was thinking of taking it up.....LOL

[bubblewrap]

I know a man with a wooden leg called Jim.
What does he call the other leg?

[zebedee]

I once new a rather well endowed lady who wore a name badge on her chest. Her name was Pat, and her first comment on meeting a man was "Don't you dare!"

[HeyWayne]

I remember once at school, we were in science class talking about light refraction and such.

The teacher presented us each with a prism which we were told to study intently (and look after!).

We were then asked the question - what do you expect to see coming out of a prism?

My mate Bill answered "prism-ers".

Still makes me laugh some 18 or so years later.

[bubblewrap]

Hold a prism up a you get all the colours of the rectum!!!

[zebedee]

But can you see Uranus?

[Flummery]

Or can you see Ma's?

[OllieMartin]

I always liked that one on the TV show "Don't Try This at Home". The presenter was in a shopping centre trying to get shoppers to try lamb's testicles.
He approached a gentleman and asked,
"Are you peckish?"
to which he replied,
"No, I'm Turkish!"

[NOG]

Did you know that if you hold a shell suit to your ear you can hear Romford market.