When does age become a problem

[lizzylemon]

Does that mean getting rid of all IVF then?

No sorry I didn't explain that very well.

What I meant is Mother Nature has already given women a cut off point in their lives - the menopause - unlike men who can potentially create babies until the day they die. Therefore it makes sense not to go against mother nature, we have the menopause for a reason, don't mess with it.

As for not having IVF ? Within reason (see above) I think every woman should have the right to try for a baby, just as I think every woman should also have the right to remain childless if she doesn't want any.

[Hilary B]

Nature usually does know best. If the reason a woman can't have babies is that her body won't work that way any more, there tends to be a reason for it.
There are other potential reasons for IVF to be the appropriate answer, but age isn't one of them, and SOME who cannot have babies it is a case of being unable to complete a pregnancy. IVF wouldn't solve THAT one!

[dexterdoglancashire]

I agree. Nature knows best and does what it does. I never wanted children, and have never had any. Thats my/our choice. Im always chuffed to bits for those who have children, who I know, planned or unplanned, and love being a virtual "aunty bernie".

[shirlthegirl43]

Personally, I wanted to complete my child-bearing by 30 as I felt that was as much age-gap as I wanted between me and a child. Fortunately, second son was my 30th birthday present or we would have only had Aranthos. Each to his own though but I agree that the menopause happens for a reason. However, I worked with someone who went through that at age 19 - so perhaps nature should not always be considered accurate.

[RedThorn]

A very personal and emotive topic, other peoples values and feelings do not really count. It's what the person making the decision feels is right/ appropriate. My personal aspiration is to walk my DD down the aisle one day, and possiblily sproglet too. I do think though that both the parents need to whole heartedly agree before a decision is made

[bluemoon]

Mt dad was born when his mum was 43, he had a sister 17 years older, no siblings in between and his relationship with his parents was completely different to hers. Back then mums didn't go out to work and my gran had loads of family support, but he was treated very much as the baby of the family..... even in his 30s. Not sure it did him any good, he never seemed to get the idea of responsibility.

[JanieB]

I had my first 2 when I was 18 and 20. My youngest was born when I was 36. So nearly a generation between them. Their father has now had another child by his current partner who is another 18 years younger than my youngest . Yes, the sums say 36 years between oldest and youngest.

Personally, I probably wouldn't have chosen to have children at all if I hadn't made a mistake. I adore my children and grandchildren but I'm not very "mumsy".

Incidentally, I didn't go through the menopause until I was 58. So I was armed and dangerous for far too long .

[bluemoon]

Returning to the idea of IVF for women in their 60's. I'm sure my distant biology A level told me that a baby girl is born with all her ova, and that they simply ripen later. Presumably this means that any child conceived by 60+ year old parents is actually developing from a 60+ year old cell. I wouldn't have thought it could be good for the child.

[Hilary B]

Mt dad was born when his mum was 43, he had a sister 17 years older, no siblings in between and his relationship with his parents was completely different to hers. Back then mums didn't go out to work and my gran had loads of family support, but he was treated very much as the baby of the family..... even in his 30s. Not sure it did him any good, he never seemed to get the idea of responsibility.

My parents were 42 when I was born, my sisters were; nearly 16, 11, and 9½. I had to fight to be treated as an adult, and yes, it is quite difficult to grow up when all around expect you to stay 'the baby of the family' (whether they like the idea or not). In fact it was my nearest sister, who had been jealous for so long, who was first to accept me as an adult.

It is still a very different matter from making artificial adjustments to the 'aging process'.
And yes, the ova are all there at birth......
At one time statistics suggested that babies born to older mothers had a higher risk of certain medical/mental problems. No idea whether they have an answer to that, or whether the latest figures suggest it was a mistake....