summer classes for men

[lez]

my oh thought this was funny don't what she means

Summer Classes for Men at

THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Saturday, Aug 22, 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

[vicky]

Fantastic! How can I book my darling OH up?

[dexterdoglancashire]

This made me smile today! Thanks!

[julesapple]

Oh Please.....

...tell me these are REAL classes?

Where does he sign? Is there one for "Keeping Your Partner Happy in Bed; How to stop snoring/farting/teeth-grinding at Night?"

Thank you for posting, it's nice to know we women aren't alone.....

Jules

[TEB]

Book me in for Class 6 please

[Nicos]

wonderful!!!!

[NOG]

Yes but if we could do all this we wouldn't need women.

[Alice]

Just brilliant Lez. I do have to add that my DH doesn't need any of those classes but I know plenty that do.

[bubblewrap]

Can I sign up for class 12 please? (especially if number 1 son is with us)

[ohbeary]

Just brilliant Lez. I do have to add that my DH doesn't need any of those classes but I know plenty that do.

OMG, you really do exist!, a woman who doesn't think her husband is a complete and utter waste of space, we have this piece of sexist nonsense on our fridge! and no matter how often I point out that the things these classes could supposedly teach me, I already do and more!, the collecting your significant other from a girls night out/end of term party/one of the girls birthday bash/excuse to go out, its not a birthday, more a we appreciate you for who you are night out+gin+shrieking sort of thing then delivering said girls(who are we kidding!) to aforementioned domestic incompetents does not seem to count for anything!, "I would do it for you!", yeah right! and the interrogation will begin well before the paracetamol starts to work!.
Enough mudslinging it will get us nowhere!, can we all just agree with no caveats or impediments that some people are good at things that other people are not!, if you want a shelf putting up, tell me where you want it and how big, if you are going to tell me how to put it up, then you know more than I do and are welcome to put up your own bl**dy shelf, while I go to the pub and commiserate with my distraught friend who has been told he is fat by the uncaring S*w that trapped him and stopped him ridding the big scary motorbike that she first found so exciting!,(he now has a Fiat Multipla!), this is going to take many sessions of brotherly sympathy before he can even consider going near an electric drill, let alone the vacuum cleaner, such a complicated thing!, where does the cat hair and your fag-ends go?, what is the bag inside for?, is there a genie inside that magics away the cotton wool and bits of cellophane from the bathroom?, as for the white dust on the bathroom floor? do we have a Colombian Lodger?, and finally WHO THE DEVIL IS SEAN BEAN?????????????.

[ohbeary]

...tell me these are REAL classes?

Is there one for "Keeping Your Partner Happy in Bed; How to stop snoring/farting/teeth-grinding at Night?"

Thank you for posting,
Jules

My dear, I am sure your local GP can help you with your problems, as for "keeping your partner happy in bed" I am sure that if you asked him in the right way and at the right time (not during the football/golf/skiing/news/car program, narturally of his choice, not everybody likes top gear), then he will probably tell you that it would be nice if you joined in!.

All love and sympathy, Eloise Harcourt, aka the bear, xxx

[julesapple]

My dear, I am sure your local GP can help you with your problems, as for "keeping your partner happy in bed" I am sure that if you asked him in the right way and at the right time (not during the football/golf/skiing/news/car program, narturally of his choice, not everybody likes top gear), then he will probably tell you that it would be nice if you joined in!.

All love and sympathy, Eloise Harcourt, aka the bear, xxx

Hey! I can 'do' Top Gear....he just doesn't like when I drool over Richard Hammond.

Jules

PS You were on here pretty late last night....I hope you got all your chores done before spending hours on here!!

[Two_Sheds]

I have just shown Mr Sheds how to work the oven ....AGAIN! it's NOT THAT COMPLICATED !!!

just turn the right knob to "oven" and the left knob to the correct temperature ... and Bob's your auntie.

As for instructions ...
Last night he bought some frozen fish home (after having to drive 6 miles back to the shop because he'd forgotten about them five minutes after being asked).
He got them out, plonked them in a tin, and then asked me how long to cook them ... I don't know, read the packet in your hand, that's why they come in a packet, cos it tells you how to cook them. Aaarrgggh!

(I know he only pretends to be thick so that I will take over and do it for him. He also likes to wind me up into a spitting screaming rage so that he can go and sulk about how hen-pecked he is ... not)

[Nicos]

(I know he only pretends to be thick so that I will take over and do it for him.

I used to do that with my father when my bike had a puncture ( I cycled 14 miles a day mostly along country lanes so got at least one a fortnight!)...out would come the dessert spoons to remove the tyre..I'd go and get the bucket of water and carefully observe as he'd explain step by step...and then he'd get a big hug and a kiss as a thank-you ...until the next one......

( Mr 2sheds must know you love him then!!!!!)

[HayleyB]

Can I book His Lordship into Classes 3,4,5,7,9 & 14

I wish