A Virtual Grapevine Xmas Panto?

[pigletwillie]

mmm perhaps an ugly wolf then. But definitely a bad one.

[pigletwillie]

Although cross dressing might open a whole new world for me, just like it has for you Nick

[beefy]

Although cross dressing might open a whole new world for me, just like it has for you Nick

Nothing wrong with cross dressing as long as you have the legs for it

[nick the grief]

Which I have.... I even had them waxed last year for children in need (smiles smugly)

[Geordie]

I didn't realise they were that needy...would have given more!

[Birdie Wife]

Jack being bored at being left alone looked at the bean and thought to himself, 'Huh, Mum thinks she knows it all asking the Ugly Sisters for their advice, but I know a thing or two, and I know that Snow Scarlett knows lots about growing, so if I nip over and ask for her advice then I'm sure I can surprise Mum with my knowledge and thoughtfullness!'

He went outside and looked at the farm animals, asking them whether they thought it a good idea, 'So, Madderbat, should I ask Snow Scarlett for her thoughts?'

(MB can add her answer in here!)

After that Jack turned to Birdie Wife and asked her, 'What do you think Birdiewife?'

Birdie Wife (Mother Goose) said,

"I had a little nut-tree, nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear;
The king of Spain's daughter came to visit me,
And all because of my little nut-tree.
I skipped over water, I danced over sea.
And all the birds in the air couldn't catch me."

Because Mother Goose was always talking in annoying rhymes that sounded good but were actually pretty useless as advice.

[JennieAtkinson]

Can I get a part? Or do I have to be the Producer AGAIN!

I could do one of the idiot parts .........

[Mrs Dobby]

What part would you like Jennie? You could be anything you'd like!

This thread seems to have died a bit of a death, perhaps we need to think of another way of getting the story to evolve!

[nick the grief]

Birdie Wife (Mother Goose) said,

"I had a little nut-tree, nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear;
The king of Spain's daughter came to visit me,
And all because of my little nut-tree.
I skipped over water, I danced over sea.
And all the birds in the air couldn't catch me."

Because Mother Goose was always talking in annoying rhymes that sounded good but were actually pretty useless as advice.

Ahh said Jack, you've been in the the Cock & wallet with Snow Scarlett again I see with a shake of his head he went into the kitchen where he was met by Nickole & snadgonna the two ugly sisters

[JennieAtkinson]

Jack being bored at being left alone looked at the bean and thought to himself, 'Huh, Mum thinks she knows it all asking the Ugly Sisters for their advice, but I know a thing or two, and I know that Snow Scarlett knows lots about growing, so if I nip over and ask for her advice then I'm sure I can surprise Mum with my knowledge and thoughtfullness!'

He went outside and looked at the farm animals, asking them whether they thought it a good idea, 'So, Madderbat, should I ask Snow Scarlett for her thoughts?'

(MB can add her answer in here!)

After that Jack turned to Birdie Wife and asked her, 'What do you think Birdiewife?'

(BW can add a reply here!)

And lastly Jack turned to Yoanbob and said, 'What about you my dear chuck, what do you think I should do?'

(YB can add a reply here!)

Mulling over what his farmyard friends had said Jack thought for a while, then decided to go anyway!

So Jack set off across the valley to go to see Snow Scarlett and the Dwarves, little knowing that he had to pass the Witches Cottage on the way, or that the forest that edged Snow Scarletts cottage was the same one within which Dill had just woken up!

From a different perspective!

Off Jack trudged, from one set of theatre wings to the other, passing the ageing scenery (NTG's shed), still holding the pins together on his jacket (wardrobe mistress said it would be done at the dress rehearsal, now its night 7) and wondering where the hell Dill was (actually he was upstairs having a cup of coffee and hand't heard his call).

So ad libbing as best he could "Helloooo Snow Scarlett" he was somewhat taken aback when the door opened outwards (he was sure at the dress rehearsal it had always opened inwards) and out popped a dwarf - which one he was not too sure as they all seemed to look the same, not having yet developed their characters. They thought they'd been signed on for a three act play, not a panto (For those not in the know if you are in a three acter it takes blisteringly ages to develop the character, in panto its get on, do it and get off!)

"S0" said Jack "I'm looking for the beanstalk to climb and get at the giant. Have you planted anything recently?"

The dwarf thought carefully (was this Act 1 or Act 2?) and replied "You'll find it in the looking glass (wrong panto!).

So Jack - thinking never work with children and animals, or even adults come to that, trudged around the stage for a third time, hoping against hope that someone from backstage would remember that the beanstalk had to be pulled up, so at least he could get it climbed, sing the final number of Act 1 and get upstairs for a pee and a cup of coffee and Christmas cake.

[Mrs Dobby]

Lol Jennie, very funny, and has a ring of truth and personal experience to it!

[dexterdoglancashire]

I can see you'll fit in well with Me, Rat & Snadger Beefy

You lot have made me really giggle after a really s***e day! Thanks! Dexterdog

[Nicos]

Can I be Fluffy the Hedgehog who I recall was the hero who ate the slug which was just about to eat the magic bean??
I think he also appeared later on in the tale, when least expected !! Always in the dark of night when no-one else was around!

[JennieAtkinson]

Never be an animal - desperately difficult to ad lib when others don't appear on stage........ Meeeouw, woof, etc. (You get my drift!).

Yes Mrs D I speak from experience! HAving said that we pride ourselves in being a very "profesional amateur" group, however, things always manage to go wrong!
On the first night of the musical Calamity Jane last year I had to instantly redo my whole choreography for one number as the costume that had arrived that day (the boat was delayed by weather!) was so scanty at the rear it would have shocked the population of Shetland, let alone those in the Theatre and the orchestra. It was bad enough having to sprint around the stage in front of the Chorus! Then of course there's the wigs! Like wearing a great wooly hat in strong lights, which sometimes doesn't want to stay on. Quick changes ? whoever writes the script sometimes has no idea that half a page of dialogue does not allow you to change from a thief to a flying carpet. All good fun!

[mandyballantyne]

Jack being bored at being left alone looked at the bean and thought to himself, 'Huh, Mum thinks she knows it all asking the Ugly Sisters for their advice, but I know a thing or two, and I know that Snow Scarlett knows lots about growing, so if I nip over and ask for her advice then I'm sure I can surprise Mum with my knowledge and thoughtfullness!'

He went outside and looked at the farm animals, asking them whether they thought it a good idea, 'So, Madderbat, should I ask Snow Scarlett for her thoughts?'

(MB can add her answer in here!)

After that Jack turned to Birdie Wife and asked her, 'What do you think Birdiewife?'

(BW can add a reply here!)

And lastly Jack turned to Yoanbob and said, 'What about you my dear chuck, what do you think I should do?'

(YB can add a reply here!)

Mulling over what his farmyard friends had said Jack thought for a while, then decided to go anyway!

So Jack set off across the valley to go to see Snow Scarlett and the Dwarves, little knowing that he had to pass the Witches Cottage on the way, or that the forest that edged Snow Scarletts cottage was the same one within which Dill had just woken up!

Dill was hungry after her long sleep but something else was on her mind, she had something she had to protect and she could hear someone getting close........