A Virtual Grapevine Xmas Panto?

[madderbat]

Mooo!

Am running late with supper - wine-yeast bread only just out of the oven, so here's a moo to be going on with.
See you all in a bit.
may the Farm be with us

[nick the grief]

Thanks Mrs D. Must admit I got so involved with it all on Sunday, couldn't stop laughing - many thanks. Ive been laid low with this rotten cold that's going around, but will practice my Moos ready for tomorrow.

Mr MB does a good line in Grumpy, but since that's taken, can he be Farty?

Isn't Jack played by a girl? Might that suit you ?
See you all tomorrow

Ah your assuming your the front half of the cow eh

[madderbat]

What udder way would it be?

[Mrs Dobby]

Act 1, Scene 1, Take 1

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away............

Oops, wrong script, sorry medears!

Once upon a long ago time in an enchanted land where everyone was friendly and ate healthy organic foods (well. it IS a fairy tale, doesnt have to be true to life does it?) there lived a happy (if slightly stupid) boy called Jack. He lived in a beautiful cottage next to a field and a river, along with his Mother GreenGhirl) and all the farm animals!

There was a cow called Madderbat,

A Goose called Birdiewife,

A Hen called Yoanbob,

and they all lived happily together for a very long time!

Across the valley there also lived Snow Scarlet and her tribe of Dwarves, rumour had it that she was married to them all, and kept them in check with a pea cane, but this is a Panto, so we wont think of things like that, will we?

Jack preffered going fishing in the river to actually doing any digging in the field, so one particularly fine growing season the local mafia boss, Little Weed (along with Bill and Ben, the burly strongarm Flower Pot Men) came round to collect the rent, and took all of the veg that was growing, leaving nothing for Jack and his Mother to eat...............

[madderbat]

"Oh Jack," said Greehghirl, "Now we've got nothing for tea. whatever shall we do?"
"well Mum," said Jack, "There's still the Goose, the chicken and the cow"

"Hiss" said Birdiewife
"Cluck, cluck" said Yoandbob
"MOOO!" said Madderbat.

"You stupid boy!" said Greenghirl, "They won't last until New Year. We need something to plant. Food we can grow ourselves, and pay the rent, and have a feast on".

[big fiona]

I'm not too up to speed on Panto's (not having any children and rapily losing the memory); Can I be the Goose then? I have no idea what is expected of the Goose but I expect smeone will fill me in!!!!!!

FiFi

[Alison]

Sorry for missing last night's rehersal - the erm errr erm dog ate my erm errr homework??????????.......??????????

[Lesley Jay]

The panto continues.......... (changed the original story slightly)

"Look Mother!" called Jack. "Bill and Ben have left behind a bean - but one bean isn't much use."

"Yes it is" replied Mother. "We can sow it and grow some more beans but we need expert advice so that we can reap a large harvest."

"Who shall we ask?" said Jack.

"I know!" replied Jack Mother. "We will ask the Ugly Sisters for help because they are a couple of smart arses!"

With that Jack's Mother left in search of the Ugly Sisters..................

[kirsty b]

Meanwhile, down at the Wicked Witch's cottage, she was trying to concoct an evil brew to foil Jacks heroic plans.

Trouble is, her green make up kept running and her wig kept falling down over her eyes. It was hot in there with all the steam and foul smelling vapours

'Thats the last time I eat flippin' sprouts for my tea' she muttered as she worked

What she lacked in witchy skill she made up for with enthusiasm, but things didn't quite always go to plan...

Hubble bubble etc etc

[mandyballantyne]

Not too far away in a not too distant land something deep in the forest began to awake from a long long sleep.

Stretching its long neck and wings from there slumber and letting out a deep roar that could be heard all around.

Dill the dragon was awakening...............

[User Removed]

God, I am so staying off this post

[Lesley Jay]

Adam come on please!! I need another dwarf!!

[Lesley Jay]

What about Handsome?

[User Removed]

Sounds good to me

Did you save that or me

[Lesley Jay]

Snow Scarlet definitely finds you extremely handsome.