Allotment snobbery?

[HeyWayne]

Snobbery's not the right word, let me explain.

Our allotment has an annual barbecue. Last year LW and I were away, the year before I forgot and the year before that I didn't even have a plot.

So, this year we decided we'd go - and we agreed to meet our neighbours (who now also have a plot) and their parents with Hayden.

The barbecue was "bring yoru own seating and drink", so I took my barrel of home brew, thinking it would be a good idea to "integrate".

We arrived and parked up the car (filled with all manner of paraphernalia - mostly Hayden related) and walked up to the top of the site where we could see smoke and people.

I had never seen any of the people there other than our resident expert, but to be fair it was a barbecue for Harlington Gardeners Society and not just the allotment.

There was clearly a group of people who knew each other and we weren't part of the group.

No real anymosity, but you know when you don't feel comfortable?

I felt very young and inexperienced. None of the people I speak to on the site were there - I may be starting to understand why.

I don't think we'll go again next year - a shame, but we tried.

Nice weather though and decent food!

All in all, an odd experience.

[Alice]

Sounds like an odd experience Hey Wayne, but it really doesn't have to be like that.

Recently I attended a kind of mini T in the Park thing (Jam in the Den)

It was bring your own food, drinks, chairs, pic nic blankets and the bands will play.

The sun shone, the bands were great, people mingled and everyone had a great time.

Just the way it should be.

[Glutton4...]

Strange innit! Surely if everyone has the same interest, they should welcome 'newcomers' into the group with open arms. Especially as you had 'Bean' with you as an ice-breaker. Weird, but perhaps you're better off without them!

Hope it works out for you tho!

[NOG]

I like those bring you food, drinks, music.....into your garden and have a BBQ there.

[di]

But the question is...did you go with the flip flops & 3/4 lenghts or fully kitted out for a monsoon???
Sorry it didn't go as you'd have hoped!

[gojiberry]

May be its the difference between a garden society and an allotment society. Could be a garden society is all about nice lawns and rose beds spread over a couple of acres and we all know what allotments are about. Only a thought and could br wrong.

Ian

[FROSTYFRECKLE]

That's a shame. Next year can you not organise an allotment only BBQ?

[Snadger]

I have a friend who is in the local gardening society and goes to all there do's and garden events ...............he hasn't got a garden or allotment himself! He's a garden wannabe.

[Hilary B]

Sometimes those who know each other simply fail to realise there is a lonely stranger among them. Ideally there would be someone who goes out of their way totalk to the newcomer, and invite them into conversations, but the absence of this is usually just an oversight (or everyone thinks someone else is doing it).
The answer is to have enough cheek to listen to a conversation for a while, and 'join in when you recognise the tune', but if that doesn't work, you feel VERY unwelcome, and disinclined to repeat the attempt!

[Pumpkin Becki]

Our garden society is very friendly, they are so keen for new blood that they roped my OH and I in almost as soon as we walked through the door (we were having a nosey at one of their shows, as they take place in the parish hall next door to our new house). The committee (well everyone really) now knows us and always chat to us at events, or even just around the village. I did have one woman at the summer show try to tell me how to display my single specimin stem of Clematis 'Rebecca', but she wasn't even a GS member - phah! I showed her - I won first prize.

We don't have get together things at the lottie though - maybe thats because it is a private site rather than a council one, so we don't have a committee or anything.

Its a shame your get together wasn't what you were expecting Wayne, maybe you should organise a 'lottie only' one as FrostFreckle suggests.

[HeyWayne]

I don't know how to say this without sounding age-ist, but they were all advanced in years.

Doug (great name for a gardener I know), who organised it all along with his wife, is (as he will proudly tell you) 80 years old and I'd wager he was about the average age.

Not that I have anything against people older than I - one of my good friends recently celebrated his 60th, and we actually went to the barbecue with our neighbours (who also have a plot on the site) and their parents - the father who is 73 and we get on really well.

Just can't quite put my finger on it, but they were a "fusty" bunch if you see what I mean.

The people who I speak to on the allotment weren't there - including Stuart (who's 84 and owns an iPod), which struck me as odd.

Oh, I just remembered - I have actually met two of the old ladies who are also Harlington Gardening Society (I'll call it HGS for ease of typing) members. Back when I was being a steward at one of the villages anti-warehouse/stadium campaign meetings a couple of years ago I got talking to these two old dears (meant as an affectionate term) and mentioned that I had recently taken on the allotment and they said "ooh you should join the HGS blah blah blah". We had a bit of a giggle whilst ushering people about and pointing others in various directions etc. One of the ladies was part of the womens land army and was really interesting, the other was a stern faced lady but was really funny.

Needless to say, neither of them were at the barbecue.

Whenever we have a barbecue - or similar gathering people have said at how welcome they feel, that kind of thing. I like to think they're not just being polite.

[Pumpkin Becki]

Whenever we have a barbecue - or similar gathering people have said at how welcome they feel, that kind of thing. I like to think they're not just being polite.

Its the mark of a good host, to make everyone feel welcome and included. Maybe it needs one person (or a small group) to do the organising and actually play 'Mine Host' for the day, circulating, introducing people to each other. Yes they may not get to spend much time with their direct friends/family, but it would make for a better atmosphere all round wouldn't it.

And I don't think you are being agest at all, we have quite a marked age gap between the thirty-somethings (me being the youngest plot holder at the grand old age of 35) and the retirees. We do all talk to each other, but I still can't see us having a 'get together' of any description.

[SlugLobber]

Have been in that situation, Wayne and I know how deflating it is. Have gone to horsey gatherings where supposedly everyone is welcome, but then you find that there is an invisible code of conduct and you haven't been allowed access to it!

I think that there is a reason that the people you know and get on with weren't there. They have probably done the same as you. Tried to join in, but found that they weren't right for the mould, as it were! It does strike me as odd that a Gardening Society would have a BBQ at an allotment site. Don't they have a grand garden to do that in? Or were they worried about the smoke affecting the dahlias???

[di]

Makes you wonder why all the more pleasant peeps weren't there!P'raps they've been the previous years & picked up the same vibes as you!
Seems odd to arrange an open barbeque & not make "outsiders" feel welcome,but then the worlds made up of odd folk!
Maybe have a little mini barbeque of your own on the plot one weekend,let some of the peeps you get on with a little better know about it & have a good evening sharing the fruits of your labours & a good chinwag about your highs & lows of the season!

[Pumpkin Becki]

It does strike me as odd that a Gardening Society would have a BBQ at an allotment site.

...and if they were trying to drum up some new members, they've got a funny way of going about it haven't they.