Any idea how to make Beans sleep?

[HeyWayne]

Just can't get ours to sleep through!

[scarey55]

Erm... Whisky

[vicky]

Apart from making sure their tummies are full I've always thought it would just happen 'when they were ready'! Some do, some don't for a while...but eventually they all do.
Does come a point where you'd give anything for a night, just one nights sleep!
How many times is he waking?

[pdblake]

It sounds horrible I know but with ours we just ignored them (again, difficult I know) and let them scream themselves to sleep for the first couple of nights and after that they were all fine. You can soon tell if the screaming is more than just 'I don't want to go to sleep' screaming, all parents can.

They all spent their first six months in a cot in our bedroom but after that went straight into their own rooms. We've never had trouble at bedtime, save for the odd strop, but then you have to make allowances for teenage girls.

[julesapple]

What's Bean's bedtime routine like? We stuck to quite a strict routine, and they knew it was bedtime.

Teatime (solids) Quite play or Story sitting quietly for half an hour. Then bath time without loads of splashing, just relaxing swishing. When dried & jama'd it was time for a warm bottle/cup of warm milk/boob, then bed. Even with four (especially with four?!) we did our utmost to keep 6pm onwards a very quiet relaxed period, no noisy games or tv. It didn't always work, but we tried.

Ours all had musical thingies, the one's with the pull-strings, so we'd set that going, turn out the light and leave them to it. Sometimes there'd be a few crocodile tears, which were ignored (it's hard, I know) but they were never left if they really were crying.

If they were upset, PH or I would go in, settle them, reset the music thing, and sit in the dark, next to cot/bed and pat the baby. You can really pat quite firmly, and this soothed. Stroking noses worked too, if we were cuddling them.

Having said all this, the youngest was an insomiac baby. He just didn't sleep, just maybe half an hour a day, until he started school. His first day at school he was in bed and asleep by 7pm...we were in shock! I watched him for hours, but that day was the end of the problem completely.

Jules

[pdblake]

Stroking noses worked too, if we were cuddling them.

That used to work like magic with our girls. Never worked with son though.

[Matt.]

Our little man didn't want to sleep last night either. Normally he does so well and goes right through but not last night. Might have been teething but the usual remedies didn't work. After the yo-yo routine for a couple of hours (cry, cuddle, cot, cry, cudddle, cot etc) at 4am I just tucked him up in bed with us. He was sound asleep in minutes the cheeky monkey although I did get woken at 6am with one of his fingers up my nose... nice! I wonder if he was just a bit chilly in his cot as it did feel colder last night. Might try the next tog up growbag soon or set the heating to come on.

[di]

Poor you & LW...and indeed Bean!
How early do you put him to bed?
Ash has never needed as much sleep as Daisy...it used to really get me down as I'd have the health visitors telling me he should be sleeping for "x" amount of hours,so I'd get really stressed that he wouldn't go to sleep & then on the rare occasions that I did manage to get him asleep early he'd just wake in the middle of the night wide awake.As soon as I accepted that actually he seemed to require less & stopped trying to get him to sleep so early,the problem stopped.(most of the time!)
He still needs far less sleep than Daisy,although being at school seems to make him a little more tired.
We had both Daisy & Ash in the bed with us & they both breastfed & I became pretty adept at semi waking up to feed them & drift back to sleep without really waking up.
Also,both of them would drift off if I stroked their eyebrows.(As long as they were tired already!)
It's tough I know...although we didn't get that many proper sleepless nights,we had a few & it really does take it out of you.I think it was probably then that I first had to deal with feeling mad at my precious little bundles...followed by immense guilt that I could be mad with such a helpless little thing.Soon learnt that we nearly all of us go through it,so if you are & feel guilty...Don't!!!
Hope you can find a solution & start getting a decent night yourselves.xx

[SlugLobber]

Can't advise, as I don't have nippers. A tummy rub helps Rosco, though, tee hee!

Seriously, hope you get some well-earned rest, soon. x

[HeyWayne]

Last night was a bit of an exception to be fair to him - he didn't get back from his Grandparents until about 8 - having had a bit of a snooze in the car on the way down he was a bit more awake than usual and didn't go down until 9.

He usually has a bit of a play with me when I get in, then his dinner (solids), then a bath, then massage (kind of - putting moisturiser on him), then bottle (with night-time, extra hungry baby feed) then bed - usually around 7-8, depending on how tired he is.

He usually wakes up at anywhere from 11-3, and then LadyWayne feeds him (whilst I'm working and she isn't - which will all change when she goes back to work), and then he usually wakes up anywhere between 5-6 am, and that's it for the night. (last night, he woke at 3:30, then 4, then 5 - at which point I went and slept with him in the spare room so that LW could get some much needed sleep). Needless to say - I didn't sleep any more.

He has maybe two or three 45 minute naps in the day, usually two, never more than three.

We've tried being all Gina Ford, and LadyWayne's had grief from "strict" mums on the baby forum she's a member of, but we're just not those kind of people, we're more laid back - and Bean is happy as larry which is what counts for us. Everyone who meets him says how happy he is - so we must be doing something right.

It would just make things easier if he slept just a bit more.

Unfortunately, like his Daddy, he has a fast metabolism which means he's always hungry and doesn't sleep as much as maybe he should.

For years LadyWayne has bemoaned the fact that I will not sleep unless I'm in a bed. I can be dead on my feet, but will not (cannot) sleep unless I'm in a bed.

Maybe he's inherited it. Is that possible?

[tiachica]

I am afraid, no help here either. Our boy is nearly 15 months old and still does not sleep through consistently. He wakes at night starving, feeds himself a bottle of milk (2-3 spoons on 8oz water) and then sleeps again. Letting him cry will only give us 3 hrs or more of horrible nights and our stamina is not that long. It's easier for all, if he's allowed to drink. This does also not affect how much he eats during the day, so it looks like he really needs it too.

[di]

Wayne,advice is one thing,but "strict" mums telling you/LW how you should be doing things is another!He's your little Bean & only you know what's best for him!I've seen the happy healthy pics & from them can see that you're doing a grand job!
You only get one go at bringing him up...yes if you have more you may do things differently,but you'll never get this time back with him,so don't feel "bullied"into changing how you do things just because someone said you should.I know with Daisy,feeling inexperienced there were a few things I did that went against the grain with how I felt,but never having done it before I didn't have the confidence to always do it my way and some of those things I still look back on & regret.
Gather as many ideas from well meaning experienced parents,mull them over & then choose what feels right for you!{{{x}}}(for you both!xx)

[Rhona]

I feel your pain...

We couldn't do the 'let them cry it out' thing - tried it once and I found it too traumatic. I really don't like the Gina Ford thing and it wouldn't work for us as we're also laid back and about as strict as a blancmange. Plus as I didn't go back to work it was less pressing. I imagine that you're both probably starting to panic a bit about LW going back to work and how you'll manage.

He may have cracked it by then - for us, and babies of friends and family - the babies suddenly 'get' what they're suppose to do and do it.

The best thing we did was move our baby girl out of our room. It was hard because we loved her being there, and it was easier when she did wake up. However, as soon as she was in her own room, she slept much better. I think we underestimated how much we were disturbing her.

Working on so little sleep can be no joke. Trying the room thing is a big change, but it definately worked for us. x

[julesapple]

Do what you feel is right...those sort of forum yummy mummies always think that they are in the right because, after all, they are so perfect. NOT.


You might try cutting out one nap a day, or shortening it if Bean doesn't wake up grumpy, and maybe increase the hungry-baby milk to two feeds a day.

I can remember a health visitor telling me to just give my oldest another 8oz bottle of normal formula on top of his standard feeds. Of course, this didn't work as #1 son couldn't hold that much. So I just ignored her, and he had the hungrier baby formula for each feed instead. He's 23 now and turned out fine.

I think your sleepless night yesterday was possibly just down to change in routine, Bean being back late from the Grands.

Who's Gina Ford?

Jules

[HeyWayne]

He's been in his own room now for months - and like you say, he did start to sleep better (I was accused of waking him when he was in with us due to my soring! ) for a while.

I think he's been a bit unsettled by the whole teething thing - he now has four teeth (did I mention that somewhere before?), and I think it's thrown him a bit.

We did try the crying-out thing - quite doggedly for a number of nights, but he wasn't having it and was getting quite upset, which in turn upset us and the whole house was "stressy" as a result. At least our way we got some sleep.

He really doesn't cry much at all - which is cool, because when he does we know it's not for effect.

I guess they're all different - and our cheeky little monkey just doesn't like to let the world pass him by whilst he's asleep - a bit like Daddy.