I've really gone and done it now :eek:

[FionaH]

snort cough giggle snort

[enrich100]

A word of advise if you don't want to find yourself volunteered for every thing

1. Have your excuse prepared something like I can't do it on that day as thats the day I take Orphan Penguins to the cinema

2. Never make eye contact with the person wanting a volunteer, you will be hypnotised before you know it and you will have yet one more thing to do

3. Sit on your hands, this prevents the involuntry hand raising that your subconscious mind thinks is so funny to do but you don't

4. learn to say No, its taken me years to learn but I'm quite happy to say it now

I have dramatically reduced the number of commitees following these rules and am a lot better of for it

[zazen999]

Ok - I think I got it - leapfrogging orphaned penguins whilst losing your skirt. Then sit on your hands and stare at the ceiling.

Right - I'm ready.....

[janeyo]

yup, that's about it

[julesapple]

Ok - I think I got it - leapfrogging orphaned penguins whilst losing your skirt. Then sit on your hands and stare at the ceiling.

Right - I'm ready.....

That's professional committee behaviour if ever I've seen it. You've got this licked Zaz!

Jules

[Snadger]

A word of advise if you don't want to find yourself volunteered for every thing

1. Have your excuse prepared something like I can't do it on that day as thats the day I take Orphan Penguins to the cinema then

2. Never make eye contact with the person wanting a volunteer, you will hypnotised before you know it and you will have yet one more thing to do

3. Sit on your hands, this prevents the involuntry hand raising that your subconscious mind thinks is so funny to do but you don't

4. learn to say No, its taken me years to learn but I'm quite happy to say it now

I have dramatically reduced the number of commitees following these rules and am a lot better of for it

You forgot the suck on a gobstopper ploy!

[Snadger]

Ok - I think I got it - leapfrogging orphaned penguins whilst losing your skirt. Then sit on your hands and stare at the ceiling.

Right - I'm ready.....

Don't forget to buy a blue rinse when you're shopping Zazen!

Could have been worse, you could have volunteered for a Sec/Treasurer or Chair person within the Committe............although there's time yet!

[Glutton4...]

It means, of course, that you won't be allowed to enter the competitions/shows!

You'll have to develop a really annoying tick to put them off involving you, or better still, one of those really loud high-pitched laughs (at nothing) that drive people mad - then they'll soon kick you off t'committee!

[enrich100]

You forgot the suck on a gobstopper ploy!

I was going to mention the gobstopper but as you know there are a few issues with it



I found the following example in my Health & Safety Guide

Health and Safety rules state you have to wear a t-shirt that you are sucking a gob stopper in any committee meeting in case of choking

I'm sure you all know your history the following story happened about 100 years ago.

Mr Jones of Weston Super Mare was arrested for attempted murder in 1909
Whilst day dreaming during a committee meeting a Mr Smith was shocked to hear his name called out in the meeting, this caused him to involuntarily swallow a Gobstopper he had in his mouth, as it was too large to swallow the Gobstopper lodged in his throat causing him to choke.

Mr Jones seeing the commotion ran to his aid. Mr Jones got behind Mr Smith and carried out The Heimlich manoeuvre
Unfortunately Mr Smith's mouth was aimed perfectly at the forehead of the Committee Chairman, the gobstopper struck him right between the eyes causing him to fall backwards out of a second storey window, luckily for the Chairman his fall was broken by a trampoline that just happened to be there

The police believed that Mr Jones had deliberately aimed Mr Smith at the Chairman as he had lost the vote to be Chair at the last AGM a few months earlier and there had been some animosity between them ever since

At the Court the prosecution claimed Mr Jones had used Mr Smith in Weston as a weapon and deliberately aimed him at the Chairman

The Defence successfully argued that it was not premeditated as Mr Smith did not have the Gobstopper in his mouth when he entered the meeting, this meant that although Mr Jones had brought Mr Smith to the meeting Mr Smith was not loaded thus proving it was not premeditated.

The Jury found Mr Jones not guilty.

The Judge advised the jury that if anyone had a loaded Mr Smith at home that still worked to take it to the local police station for decommissioning

Incidentally this is how The Smith & Wesson Guns Company got their name

[lizzylemon]

I was going to mention the gobstopper but as you know there are a few issues with it



I found the following example in my Health & Safety Guide

Health and Safety rules state you have to wear a t-shirt that you are sucking a gob stopper in any committee meeting in case of choking

I'm sure you all know your history the following story happened about 100 years ago.

Mr Jones of Weston Super Mare was arrested for attempted murder in 1909
Whilst day dream during a committee meeting a Mr Smith was shocked to hear his name called out in the meeting, this caused him to involuntarily swallow the Gobstopper he had in his mouth, as it was too large to swallow the Gobstopper lodged in his throat causing him to choke,

Mr Jones seeing the commotion ran to his aid. Mr Jones got behind Mr Smith and carried out The Heimlich manoeuvre
Unfortunately Mr Smith's mouth was aimed perfectly at the forehead of the Committee Chairman, the gobstopper struck him right between the eyes causing him to fall backwards out of a second storey window, luckily for the Chairman his fall was broken by a trampoline that just happened to be there

The police believed that Mr Jones had been deliberately aimed Mr Smith at the Chairman as he had lost the vote to be Chair at the last AGM a few months earlier and there had been some animosity between them ever since

At the Court the prosecution claimed Mr Jones had used Mr Smith in Weston as a weapon and deliberately aimed him at the Chairman

The Defence successfully argued that it was not premeditated as Mr Smith did not have the Gobstopper in his mouth when he entered the meeting, this meant that although Mr Jones had brought Mr Smith to the meeting Mr Smith was not loaded thus proving it was not premeditated.

The Jury found Mr Jones not guilty.

The Judge advised the jury that if anyone had a loaded Mr Smith at home that still worked to take it to the local police station for decommissioning

Incidentally this is how The Smith & Wesson Guns Company got their name

OHMYGOD!!! I tried to read this out to Hubby as thought it was very funny. Ended up crying with laughter trying to read it out. You have no idea how much I needed this today.

What made it even funnier is remembering a party where the coolest guy lost his cool for ever. He lite a smoke, leaned back and fell out of the 2nd floor window (someone had opened it 30 second before).

[Alice]

Well Zazen, if it's what you want to do - Congratulations.
I can see why you might feel flattered.
If I had to do it I think I would loose the will to live - but maybe my communuty spirit is underdeveloped.
Good luck and enjoy. Do let us know how it goes. We can always have a whipround for some suitable medication if it gets too bad.

[enrich100]

OHMYGOD!!! I tried to read this out to Hubby as thought it was very funny. Ended up crying with laughter trying to read it out. You have no idea how much I needed this today.

What made it even funnier is remembering a party where the coolest guy lost his cool for ever. He lite a smoke, leaned back and fell out of the 2nd floor window (someone had opened it 30 second before).

I set out to make at least one person smile each day, hopefully that means I've suceeded today

Did your OH find it amusing or did he think you were losing the plot?

[Alison]

Oh dear, poor you, NEVER say yes to things like this unless you're totally mad. It's obviously a rubbish job otherwise somebody already involved the event would be happy to take on the role.

[zazen999]

I think I said yes because I'd just spent ages cutting back my lottie neighbour's prickly hedge that he's put in....so being on a committee means I can have a quiet word about the lotties with the lottie blokey when I see him.........

I don't really feel flattered; just a bit 'oh er, why me, what do they want?'

[Snadger]

I set out to make at least one person smile each day, hopefully that means I've suceeded today

Me makes two, so you can have a day off tomorow! You only need to make two people smile on Sunday............double time!