Hazel! Hazel! Yooohoo!

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I feel like I've missed something at the start of this thread.
I take it there was some sort of discussion about what people do when they get a compliment, right?

[Hilary B]

I feel like I've missed something at the start of this thread.
I take it there was some sort of discussion about what people do when they get a compliment, right?

Yeah, some of us tend to get flustered and don't know what to say, so we just deny there are any grounds for compliment, or blush and stutter or some such.
I haven't had much practice, but a sheepish grin seems to be acceptable response.....

[HeyWayne]

I feel like I've missed something at the start of this thread.
I take it there was some sort of discussion about what people do when they get a compliment, right?

S'my fault:

http://www.growfruitandveg.co.uk/gra...nts_38906.html

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S'no problem, HW.
I see now though, a good thread and I fully understand the problem people have.

I used to be the same, could give a compliment but if I was given one I'd feel very awkward. Things are different now though, and to be honest it's not even a matter of practice, I don't think.

I had a similar situation (nothing even slightly related to allotments) but it was bringing in compliments I felt were undeserved on a regular basis. I usually denied the compliment or deflected it towards the people I was performing with.
After a while it dawned on me that they actually meant it. They'd come to ME, not the others. From then on I smiled said "thanks" and usually ended up with them walking away looking happy or stopping for a quick chat.

Compliments come in different kinds, the two main ones seem to come from either people who know what they are talking about and people who don't. No insult there, just a fact.
When they come from the former it tends to be an acknowledgment of a fine effort or good quality achievement.
When they come from the latter it tends to be an acknowledgment that you've done something they like and they admire it/you for it.

In both cases there's absolutely NO reason to deny it. Take the compliment for exactly what it is, feel good about it, feel good about yourself and let the happy feeling it brings both improve your day and give you encouragement to try even harder.


HeyWayne. You've made a couple of really good threads about this subject and well done with the progress you made following Hazel's advice.
Good on you.

[HeyWayne]

HeyWayne. You've made a couple of really good threads about this subject and well done with the progress you made following Hazel's advice.
Good on you.

Thank you.

*curtseys*

[Hilary B]

The best I'm ever likely to manage might be along the lines of "I do appreciate the thought, but I'm not used to believing I can do anything special!"

[Pumpkin Becki]

The best I'm ever likely to manage might be along the lines of "I do appreciate the thought, but I'm not used to believing I can do anything special!"

EMERGENCY TRAINING REQUIRED HAZEL!!! QUICK!! ()

[Hazel at the Hill]

Take the compliment for exactly what it is, feel good about it, feel good about yourself and let the happy feeling it brings both improve your day and give you encouragement to try even harder.

Said better than I ever did in two whole threads!

EMERGENCY TRAINING REQUIRED HAZEL!!! QUICK!!

It's OK, PB - I do believe that Hilary is not a lost case!

.... "I do appreciate the thought, but I'm not used to believing I can do anything special!"

All that is needed here is to stop after "I do appreciate...." and continue with "...that, thank you!"

There, job's a good 'un!

[Hilary B]

No can do Hazel. I am so used to 3 big sisters forever telling me how badly I'm doing things and how to do it better that I really can't cope with the opposite (even though they don't do it any more, because there are things I do better than them).
A smile and no actual words, maybe, but no way can I say anything that could be interpretted as 'pleased with myself', because the biggest hang-up in my life is any risk of breaking 'Dad's rules' and being 'pleased with yourself' was always a no-no!