What Would You do?

[Pumpkin Becki]

We were about to be mortgage free 2 1/2 years ago, then we bought a plot of land and started self-building, and now we have about 5 mortgages and loans on the go.

We have a clever mortgage with Smile, which has an overpayment fund. Basically we pay the minimum payment on the mortgage, and anything extra we can spare each month gets put in the overpayment fund. It still counts towards your mortgage payment, in that it reduces the overall interest due and acts like a slush fund, because you can still withdraw the money should you need to, and they just recalculate the interest payment, or, once your balance due equals the sum in your overpayment fund, you can tell them to pay off the balance with it. I hope that made sense (finances are not my forte)!!

My OH wishes he had retired 10 years ago, and he's only 42 now. I have to remind him that if he had retired, we couldn't ever have built our dream house an a gorgeous village.

Having said that though...my parents spent there whole lives working, paying off the mortgage and paying into pension plans etc, only for my beautiful mother to die from cancer two years before she was due to retire, and she and my father never got to enjoy their retirement together as they had planned.

This is a really difficult decision Shortie, I wish you both luck with it.

[di]

I guess it depends on just how big the stress is?
If it's making you ill & preventing you from enjoying life outside of work,then I'd definately be looking elsewhere.How long before you know about this other offer?

Neither me nor Andi have ever been in a well paid job,but have both been fortunate enough to have had jobs we enjoy....other than the odd one or two which I got out of ASAP!
Andi's pay now isn't great and times can be pretty tough for us as far as money's concerned,but I'd rather have our life of watching the pennies but being generally happy,than see Andi change jobs for more money but come home feeling stressed or me getting work and not being around for the kiddies.
Which brings me to my next thoughts!Despite all the warnings when Daisy was born about how quickly they grow up,I'm shocked at how quickly the last seven years have gone!Seven years that I'll never get back...my "babies" won't ever be babies again,nor toddlers or pre~schoolers.Anything you miss in their little journey doesn't get repeated,so for me the decision to be around for them,help them through their little tough times & watch them having fun & laughing & growing is the most important thing for me.I'd hate to get them to adulthood only to realise that I missed most of their childhood because I was worrying about being able to provide for their future.
You'll never get today back so do your best to fill it with memories that you'll enjoy looking back on.
Good luck with your decisionsxx

[HeyWayne]

A mortgage is quite porbably the largest debt any of us will ever have. It's also a driving force for many people to have to work.

To want to work, rather than having to work is a very attractive proposition for me personally.

[Incy]

I'm with you there Wayne. I am in the position of having to work to pay the mortgage. I may be made redundant soon and if that happens I hope to pay enough of it off to be able to have a job I want rather than needing such a well paid one.
I know though that having been with one company for a long time the idea of leaving and losing the redundancy entitlement in such a difficult economic climate would make me nervous. My sistuation is somewhat different though as OH is a house hubby so there's no 2nd income to help.

[zazen999]

I think after sleeping on it; I'd want to get mortgage free so that I could enjoy it.....but it really depends on how much you hate the team....it might be a completely different team of course in a year or two.....

[bobleponge]

If it were me Shorty:

Until recently I worked in the most dangerous job I've had outside of Iraq, to pay a large mortgage on my house, but with the intention of paying it off before I was 50.
One particular night was a proper wake up call, and I came home and took stock. I hated the job, and I had many a sleepless night wondering how I could cope with the size of my mortgage should I leave the job.

Now I am lucky to be in a job that I really enjoy, an extended mortgage that I can overpay should I have cash spare, and am much happier and mentally healthier.

The years that you are unhappy working dont come round again.....

Tough decision Mrs S. But I know what I would do, cos I did it.

[Keith2202]

I've been mulling this over myself.

I'm early thirties, I'm an accountant. Like you I don't mind my job (although the people in my immediate vicinty are nice which helps) although it is rather unfulfilling and boring, but pays well, so I am basically doing for the money (and because I am good at it and find it easy).
I would like to try and find a more rewarding/interesting job, however I am fully aware that is going to pay less.

My mullings normally come back to the money.
I think realistically I will end up staying as an accountant, as like you I can be mortgage free in 8 years time, while still having luxuries in the meantime. After that I can do whatever I like jobwise.
I also know that I am lucky to be in this position as many, many people work poorly paid jobs they really hate, all their lives. Or indeed in the current climate don't have jobs at all.

I don't have kids mind, so spending time with them doesn't come into consideration, but neither does job security/earning money to support them!

[jackie j]

I would rather be in a job that I loved and pay the mortgage slowly paying a bit more if funds allow until I was sure I could afford to pay the mortgage off. I am lucky in that my OH has a good paid job allowing me to work part time, be home when my daughter is home. We dont have holidays, dont smoke, drink ( only occasionally ) and never have. You have to decide what is best for you, do you want to be with your family and watch them grow, or miss out on all the milestones. For some people this is not an option, it wasnt for my mum who worked hard all her life, after loosing my dad when we were young. I vowed that I would always be there for my kids as mum couldnt be when I needed her the most, I have worked all my life and in some awful places but it suited me at the time. I gave up some hours to be my sisters carer when she needed me the most and claimed carers allowance, I will never get the chance to be with her again and I am so glad I spent the last 18 months of her life looking after her. Family come first.
Whatever you decide to do dont leave it too long, have you had a look to see what jobs are out there at the moment, does something take your fancy, Take a deeper look before jacking in you job, you might find its what you want to do.
I have had a mortgage since I was 21 and have increased it a couple of times, it will be paid off eventually. Your children are growing up, there will be time when they are older that you can work longer hours.
I wish you all the best with trying to work this one out.

[bluemoon]

We encountered a similar situation a few years ago, the kids had left home, we could sell the house, buy somewhere smaller, OH could cut down his working hours slightly and I could cut down mine a lot. (there was about 10 years left on the mortgage, but a combination of increased house prices and the downsizing meant we would be mortgage free) Or, we could continue to pay the mortgage, with the plan that once it was paid off we could then sell up and use the proceeds to buy a small house near my mum (she lives in a small and expensive village and even selling the big house here would not have covered the cost of even a tiny place there, so there would have been yet another mortgage). We went with the first option, which has made us much happier, but I do feel slightly guilty as if Mum ever needs us nearby there is now no way we will be able to afford to do it.

[Shortie]

Thanks everyone... your thoughts, and in some cases what you have done's are helping quite a lot

The other job - I was 'unofficially' offered 6 weeks ago with no sign of movement on it. I have to be honest I'm losing a bit of faith in it ever materialising but that could just be my negative mind set at the moment. I've been nudging the lady gently but get no 'real' answers and I don't want to make a pest of myself and completely blow my chances

I have to be honest.. I'm starting to go against my gut feeling from yesterday and am now thinking of staying put and just ignoring the 'carp' for a while longer. Being mortgage free in 8 years would be fab. I could spend all the time I darned well want with the kids then. Yes I'd miss out on them now, but I would have to do work of some sort anyway and realistically I'd probably miss ou on them nearly as much as now but without the extra money for the 'fun things'

And heck... in 8 years time I could reapply for a lottie and be down there with the boys all the time!

Again thanks for the replies, they are helping me to straighten out my thoughts quite a lot more than I thought it would

xxxxxx

[tamsin]

I like things to be flexible so have the lowest required payment by picking the 35yr term but the option to over pay up to £500 per month without penalty if I want. So although the mortgage term is 35 yrs if I overpaid the maximum amount allowed without penalty it would be reduced to 10yrs.

You could take a 35yr deal with the option to overpay. Keep the current job for 6 months or so, but make the minimum payment on the 35yr loan and put the difference in savings. Then take a lower paid/riskier job and you've a pot set aside for if there there is a problem. Then overpay when you have the cash and when you don't you have a lower minimum payment required to meet the mortgage.

It might not be as quick as 8yrs but probably not as long as 35yrs either and you have a bit more flexibility.

[Two_Sheds]

I do feel slightly guilty as if Mum ever needs us nearby there is now no way we will be able to afford to do it.

... but she could move nearer to you?

[Incy]

Shortie,
I had a chat with my Dad last night about your situation. He was a personel officer for many years and has had lots of staff sufferring from stress come to him for help and advice during that time. This is what he suggested:
If you hate your team then they probably pick up those negative vibes resulting in bad feeling both directions. You could try being extra nice to them, do something nice like bring in biccies or cake from time to time. It probably won't have an immediate effect but after a while you will be seen as a friendly member of the team and the vibes should improve.
Also, are you stressed when you leave work or do you get stressed during the journey home? If the later, then try and identify at what point you start feeling stressed and what triggers it. Is there some chore waiting for you at home that just feels like too much after a long day at work? If you can identify the cause then you may be able to think positively about it or even change the routine a little and feel less stressed as a result.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

[bluemoon]

... but she could move nearer to you?

She could, but she never would, I'm afraid.

[Two_Sheds]

Bluemoon, Mr S's parents are always moaning they don't see enough of us ... but they have free bus passes, door to door and no jobs to go to all week. They still expect us to visit them.