Best phrase you've heard recently?

[Eco-Chic]

I'd rather scoop out my eyes with a rusty spoon!

I'd rather give myself a Brazilian with a chainsaw! (Heard this tonight on "Rudy's Rare Records" R4).

[geoff]

Sorry I wasn't going to post it, but then I saw the language used in some of the other posts and thought it would be OK

[SarzWix]

To a lot of folks, me included, the c word (in any context) is one step too far.

[bubblewrap]

He's as happy as a pig in s**t.
It's like giving pigs cherries(some one who eats fast)

[PAULW]

To a lot of folks, me included, the c word (in any context) is one step too far.

Totally agree to early to mention Christmas

[mrswadders]

face like a slapped arse (this one describes some 'not very nice natured females)

my dad always used to say this to my sister when she was going out in the late 70's - 'you've gone from the sublime to the cor blimey'

[HeyWayne]

Can't believe I forgot/didn't mention this one, I use it all the time (in fact I just did, hence I'm back here posting).

"Wouldn't kick her out of bed for making crumbs"

Used to describe ladies wot do look nice.

[Glutton4...]

Neither use nor ornament!

Says it all really

[bubblewrap]

Like a fart in a colander - Dithering

[HeyWayne]

Like a fart in a colander - Dithering

Bizarrely, I used that one today too.

[bubblewrap]

As much use as a chocolate tea pot.

[bubblewrap]

And always remember the 6 Ps

Proper Preparation Prevents P**S Poor Performance.

[StephenH]

"He's so dense, light bends round him." Thingy in 'The Thick of it', which I don't watch because I don't find it funny, and the wobbly camera shots irritate me, but that, in a trailer, was good.

"As cunning as a fox that's just been appointed to the chair of cunning at Oxford University." Rowan Atkinson in one of the Blackadders.

"As much use as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest." Trad.

"As much use as a spare pr**k at an orgy." Trad.

"As welcome as a fart in a phone box." Trad.

"A few wasps short of a picnic / bricks short of a full hod / etc."

[HeyWayne]

Not nettle celery a phrase, but listening to Paolo Nutini's latest CD in the car on the way home last night (I've given up on Simon Mayo), and the following line struck me as rather cool:

"It was in love I was created
And in love is how I hope I die "

YouTube - Paolo Nutini - Sunny side up - coming up easy cd version

[jacob marley]

Was in Wlkos in Nuneaton last friday Sitting on the seat waiting for old gal Marley to get through and this old boy put his boot up on the bench alongside me trying to tie his lace's up Muttering why do they put your feet so far away from your hands....jacob