Best phrase you've heard recently?

[pigletwillie]

I have seen more meat on a portugese racing sardine!!!!

[Rocketron]

A Vegetable Wholesaler once told my Grandmother,after she had unnecessarily complained about something,"Ma, you've got more mouth than a cow's got cu##".
Amused me.

[bubblewrap]

Seen more fat on a chip!

[zebedee]

One I seem to remember when a job is particularly difficult = 'like trying to stick a wet noodle up a wild cat's a***. Another is 'being busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest'

[davtaz]

has got a face like hes been bobbing for apples in a deep fat fryer

or got a face that would make an onion cry

[Mac]

I heard a cracker the other day....a friend was wishing ill on someone who had been particularly mean to her...so came away with "I hope his next sh*te's a hedgehog", oooh the thought.........

[StephenH]

Not the brightest star in the intellectual firmament. (Thick as pig-sh*t.)
"Jack Dee, with your face like a neglected radish..." (Vic Reeves, on 'Shooting Stars'.)

[StephenH]

'being busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest'

Dunno about that, but I've heard "As much use as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest" (and please note that on this side of the Atlantic, it's 'arse', not 'ass').
As welcome as a fart in a phone box.

[zebedee]

I am from this side of the Atlantic; I was trying to be polite!!!