Best phrase you've heard recently?

[Flummery]

Said by someone when starving with the hunger.
I could eat a farmers arse through a hedge.

We used to say 'I could eat a horse between two bread vans' - we like a big butty in Manchester!

Or 'I could eat a bear with a scabby head'. Revolting but it does indicate the degree of ravenousness!

[OllieMartin]

When someone's arguement, idea or plan was completely destroyed by someone/something else we'd often say, "That really p*ssed on your chips"

My dad's favourite for people who are annoying him, "Go p*ss up a rope"

[Pumpkin Becki]

From 'The IT Crowd' series 1:

Moss: What the heck is Tapas?
Jen: You know Tapas, tiny food from Spain.
Moss: Oh yes tape-as.
Jen: Yeah, that’s not how you say it.
Moss: Oh yes it is.
Jen: You’re a tape ass!


It doesn't even mean anything, but its such a funny rebuff! Okay...maybe you have to be watching it (I'm sitting here chuckling away to myself)

[OllieMartin]

From 'The IT Crowd' series 1:

Moss: What the heck is Tapas?
Jen: You know Tapas, tiny food from Spain.
Moss: Oh yes tape-as.
Jen: Yeah, that’s not how you say it.
Moss: Oh yes it is.
Jen: You’re a tape ass!


It doesn't even mean anything, but its such a funny rebuff! Okay...maybe you have to be watching it (I'm sitting here chuckling away to myself)

Moss: Chairman Wow!

[Pumpkin Becki]

Moss: Chairman Wow!

I forgot that one! Classic!!

[Aileen35]

OH uses this quite alot "he was sweating like a bank robbers hoss!"

[sarraceniac]

My favourites:

For somebody who is aesthetically challenged - He/She looks like his/her mother stood on his/her face to wind the clock.

For explaining things to my grandkids - I might as well save my breath for blowing my porridge.

[Incy]

My step-dad always refers to fast cars as "going like sh*t off a shovel"

I use that quite a lot too but then I'm usually referring to my car
Also like:
' Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey'

[Flummery]

My Ma says of anyone really thin - "there's more meat on an egg butty!"

[Rhona]

I wouldn't usually be crude, and so couldn't claim to have used it myself, but it tickled me when I heard;

"Does the pope sh*t in the woods?"

[Eco-Chic]

A friend used to say "There's no room for a sense of humour in a thin girl".

I was very underweight at the time

[Flummery]

Another Terry Pratchett - "Inside every fat girl is a thin girl and a lot of chocolate!"

[HeyWayne]

I wouldn't usually be crude, and so couldn't claim to have used it myself, but it tickled me when I heard;

"Does the pope sh*t in the woods?"

I on the other hand would be, and used that very same line just the other day.

[Eco-Chic]

As a superlative, I prefer "It's the mutt's nuts" to "It's the dog's *ollox"

[Pumpkin Becki]

Yesterday, a slightly confused person said to me 'Is the Pope Jewish?'...'Well, no actually, he's not' I replied. They stopped, thought about what they had said, and hung their head in shame.