why oh why????????

[Seahorse]

Oh, Phil I'm so sorry. Words seem a bit inadequate Really big (HUGS)

[Jax]

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is something that I cant relate to directly, but, having had a rough time of it the last few years one thing I can say is that you need to let yourself go through the motions. It sounds strange but if you feel it go with it. If you feel numb at the moment that is absoloutely fine as its what you need. Dont look for the strength, its already there. You cope I dont know how or why but when its needed we just cope. The strength comes from somewhere and its always there even if it doesnt always feel like it. You dont need to find the right words as they will find you and sometimes its better to say nothing at all. I know I dont know you but I can tell your incredibly strong. Stronger than you realise. Life will get easier. Stay positive...... (((((hugs))))))

[kirsty b]

Phil, what horrible news for you. You don't need to say anything to your Dad and sometimes you just can't find the words. Just knowing you are there will give him a measure of comfort.

Just over a year ago my FIL went out to play golf and had a massive heart attack on the course, and didn't come home . The shock was unbelievable for all of us, but mostly for my MIL and still the grief can hit us at odd moments.

My heart truly goes out to you and your dad, sincere condolences.

[susieq100]

So sorry for your and your father's loss. My MIL died about 6 months ago after a long illness and we were worried that FIL would not cope. He is finding it hard but Flum is right - don't try to do too much for him, he needs to keep busy so that he doesn't brood. Grief is a strange thing - you and he will feel a lot worse before you feel better. Just hang in there. Remember the good stuff!

[miffy]

Nothing anyone can say can make it better i know. It leaves a massive hole in your life when someone who has played such a significant part in your life for so long suddenly isn't there.
You are doing all you can for your dad and i know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but it will get easier and as susie has said you have to wade through all the bad stuff first to come out the other side.
Take care.

[lizzylemon]

So very sorry to hear of you and your fathers lose. It's a terrible thing to loose someone you love so much and when it happens, nothing can prepare you for it - drawn out or sudden. Words seem inadequate and you wonder how any of you can move forward when someone so important in your life dies.

There's so much to do in these first few weeks but please take time out to let loose and don't keep it bottled up. Grief is a natural process and it will hit you from the left side sometimes but it does get better. Be there and love each other no matter what gets said or how people act in this early stage of grief. It's easy to hurt the living when you're cross at the dead.

XXXX

[phil the shed]

just a quick note to say thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. one always knows the grapes care and have uplifting words for every body struggles with those sad times in life.
my dad's doing alright, he said he'd cried enough for now lets save some for when it's really going to hurt, quite pragmatic i thought.
i'm back in derby for 48 hours as the five of us have worn and washed the same 2 sets of close since tuesday last when we packed a few bits and rushed to wales.
my mum was released today and the funeral confirmed for 2.30pm friday spare a thought for us all then.

[Flummery]

Of course we will Phil - I often think the funeral, being a semi-public time, is the hardest - then there's a quiet downer when it's all happened and it hits you anew. Take care chuck.

[Nicos]

Will certainly be thinking of you on Friday xx

[phil the shed]

comforting words from two of the great guru's
cheers peeps
just waiting for wake up slap to bring me back to reality.

[Nicos]

Aw..Phil- I lost my father when I was 19..it was awful- I'd just gone to Uni.

everyone told me it was worse to lose a mother than a father- but that was no consolation in any way.

your mommy has gone ..I'm really upset for you and your pa ....big hug sent to you both xx