Grammar Guru needed to speak to/with...

[OllieMartin]

Hi Ollie - I do like a nice bit of forensic grammar work! The phrases that go together like ' a talking to' and 'speaking with' are formulaic phrases which 'go' together - collocations. The link between the verb and the prepositions 'with' or 'to' is quite weak - sometimes referred to as 'delexical'. This means both forms are technically correct and the choice is semantic or even stylistic.
I have the same trouble today with 'bored of' instead of 'bored with'.

Yeah, I know - nobody likes a smart a**e!

An eloquent response. So "speak with" and "talk with" are just stylistic preferences? We need to be sure about this, because if I try this with my dad and he comes back with "Yes, if you're an American", I'm going to wind up looking a complete fool.

I have often argued that the purpose of language is merely to convey meaning, and therefore the words you use are irrelevant if the receiver understands your message. But by that rationale, there's no need for any of these lovely big words you know I love so much, and we could all just write in text speak!
When I write something official, like a letter of complaint, or something for work, it needs to be spot-on. And putting common faux pas such as "less coins" or "john and myself" aren't acceptable if someone 'in the know' is going to read it.

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

[HeyWayne]

Anyway - nice avatar HW.

Are you speaking to me, or are we talking Hot Water again?

[zazen999]

I haven't not been speaking to you - and I'm usually in hot water somehow or other....

[OllieMartin]

Are you speaking to me, or are we talking Hot Water again?

Possibly:
Halo Wars
Hardware
Homework
Housewife

or the oh-so-apt Halloween!

[zazen999]

Or should that be speaking with you.

I've been speaking to I use if it is yet to happen.

I've been speaking with I use if it has happened and we already had a conversation.

I'm sure I've got a book on all this somewhere....

[OllieMartin]

Or should that be speaking with you.

I've been speaking to I use if it is yet to happen.

I've been speaking with I use if it has happened and we already had a conversation.

I'm sure I've got a book on all this somewhere....

If you could find the answer in a book, I'd definately believe it. Unless it was one of those American books!

[HeyWayne]

Technically of course using the term "speak" or "talk" in the written form is oxymoronic surely?

[OllieMartin]

Technically of course using the term "speak" or "talk" in the written form is oxymoronic surely?

Certainly a "written speech" would be! Funnily enough my mum rang me last night to ask what an oxymoron was, I told her it was someone who wasn't intelligent enough to breath!

[zazen999]

Apparently......

The difference is subtle. When you are speaking TO somebody, you MAY be the only person speaking. Here's an example: "The teacher spoke to her class." When you are speaking WITH someone, it's assumed that both of you are engaged in conversation (i.e., both of you are talking to each other). However, the two expressions can and do often mean exactly the same thing (they are synonymous).

As for "speaking" and "talking," these two words DO mean the same thing. They are SYNONYMS, which means they can be used interchangeably.

I believe that if you asked an Oxford Don they'd have a completely different interpretation though.

[OllieMartin]

Apparently......

The difference is subtle. When you are speaking TO somebody, you MAY be the only person speaking. Here's an example: "The teacher spoke to her class." When you are speaking WITH someone, it's assumed that both of you are engaged in conversation (i.e., both of you are talking to each other). However, the two expressions can and do often mean exactly the same thing (they are synonymous).

As for "speaking" and "talking," these two words DO mean the same thing. They are SYNONYMS, which means they can be used interchangeably.

I believe that if you asked an Oxford Don they'd have a completely different interpretation though.

Hmmm, whilst most of that sounds believable and I'll accept it, I can think of a few instances where talk and speak are not synonymous.
E.g. "Talk him out of doing it"
"Let's talk football"
"To speak up"

Although I agree that in most common instances they are interchangeable.

Thank you for looking that up.

[HeyWayne]

I believe that if you asked an Oxford Don they'd have a completely different interpretation though.

Of course, ask a Mafia Don and, well, talking or speaking. "You talkin' a me?!"

[Brengirl]

enuf is enuf.

[poly]

When I asked my mum is it ok to say talk with, she said

"Yes, if you're an American"

[zazen999]

Of course, ask a Mafia Don and, well, talking or speaking. "You talkin' a me?!"

I believe you are correcta-mundo.

Nice pic though

[Brengirl]

You got a shylock with a beef because you haven't paid your juice? He tell you he's going to whack you, or that you will to have a debt counseling session with some guys? You don't know what he's talking about? Well, then you shouldn't have been messing there in the first place, but listen up and I'll let you in on some of the lingo

OK boss