Gardeners Rest #4

[jacob marley]

..meanwhile over the shop in his private quarters upstairs piglet was putting the final touches to his latest money making project which was the Gardeners Rest 2010 calender with pictures taken from the recently installed cctv system of the ladies of the vine cavortings with the pompiers and yew furry wilting thingy was invovled as well .
Well Piglet cme down stais and chucked a couple of calenders on the table and took the rest out side to the WI ladies to sell on their table and ...

[ginger ninger]

...."abso-flipping-lutely" said ginger from near the bar, as she eventually prised Piskie from the bar stool, "thanks" said Piskie in a happy voice, now I can try and get one of those calenders for my shed on the allotment, I'll get in to deep do do if I put one up in the house..........

[Jeanied]

... particularly if you looked at November!

[ginger ninger]

......" Huge Furry Whitingstubble in a Rudolf thong , that's what I call a red nose" giggled Flum, " but the picky of Wayne in ..............

[ginger ninger]

..."one of beans nappies and a feather bower" is priceless said........

[Nicos]

Jacob- desperately trying to distract everyone from flipping the month to December where ...there he is , bold as day,sat sitting, hiding behind a rather small Xmas tree made of sprouts

" oh no!!!!" called all the blokes
"Oh yes" cried all the gals ...

"oh nooooooo"...called Jacob " they promised me they wouldn't use that piccie

[jacob marley]

..oh i wish these blasted white fly would fly away and take them chooks with them soon will be soon enough....

[Glutton4...]

...At that precise moment ...

[HayleyB]

in staggered Hashette "I've just run round the M25, couldn't find that there London Place".......

[ginger ninger]

...."never mind, your in the right place now, take your running shoes off and put your feet up, Rhona can Hashette have some goat casserole if there's any left" said Glutton4.

H.F.W was sat at the bar with a large glass of Sui-cider and something hot keeping him warm, the ladies had gone a bit mad with the waxing and he only had.......

[Jeanied]

...a small tuft of hair in his right nosril left to bear witness that he had once been, indeed, a hairy man.

After a goodly quantity of booze Hugh felt a little less traumatised at being scalped, and, wearing one of Lynda's black woolly hats, he proceeded to stoke up the range in the corner of Gardener's Rest - using the best part of one of Bob's steres - and called upon the assembled Grapes to get started on making a real Christmas Feast for the table (assiduously avoiding all references to Delia).

"Right - we will start with the ...

[ginger ninger]

....14 bird roast which will consist of Swan stuffed with Turkey with Goose filled with orange and walnut stuffing. Chicken with hazelnut and ginger. Pheasant with juniper stuffing. Aylesbury duck with sage and onion. Barbary duck with Persian fruit stuffing. Poussin and guinea fowl layered with parsley, lemon and thyme. Partridge and Pigeon Squab set in juniper stuffing. Mallard duck layered with cranberry and lemon and Whole boned Quail filled with cranberry and orange relish. All stuffed in a free range Ostrich....Do you think they'll be enough to go round?????" he said " now for the veg.........

[Glutton4...]

'Well, I grew far too many Spuds this year,' Said Glutton, 'and my Leeks are just about ready, if it helps.'

And with that, she got up and went off in search of a spade and a pair of gardening gloves...

[Nicos]

.....Peter's little red wheelbarrow- which she'd spotted hidden behind the chicken coop....."Oi " said Peter- " I've got my eye on you - I wonder where I'd left me barrow"...and off they tootled together ........

[Jeanied]

... down to the veg patch to see what else they could find to enliven the spuds and leeks which were looking rather unappetising, sitting in a bucket by the dresser.

'Cough, cough, splutter, splutter' - Brengirl was only dimly visible, but certainly could be heard, behind a huge white cloud - produced by the vast quantities of flour that she was furiously sifting in a large sieve. 'We need some traditional cooking here, so I'm following my best Marguerite Patten recipe for Christmas pud. The only trouble is, we seem to have run out of...'