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Doesn't last that long, but an interesting way to pass the time when you have creative agencies who phone you up and ask three times if you outsource creative (and you answer yes three times).
...if you outsource creative (and you asnwer yes three times).
At Ollietopia Inc we outsource all our work. That's why it's so fun to work here, there's nothing to do.
(It's also why the pay is so poor!)
Current Executive Board Members at Ollietopia Inc: Snadger - Director of Poetry RedThorn - Chief Interrobang Officer Pumpkin Becki - Head of Dremel Multi-Tool Sales & Marketing and Management Support Jeanied - Olliecentric Eulogy Minister piskieinboots - Ambassador of 2-word Media Reviews
The benefits are great though:
All the veg you can eat (provided you have space to plant it, and you grow it yourself)
Company car (requires you to paint "Ollietopia Inc" on your own car in tippex)
364 days' holiday a year
Health plan provided by the NHS
...and because of the lack of pay and number of free days, you can also claim Job Seekers Allowance!
Current Executive Board Members at Ollietopia Inc: Snadger - Director of Poetry RedThorn - Chief Interrobang Officer Pumpkin Becki - Head of Dremel Multi-Tool Sales & Marketing and Management Support Jeanied - Olliecentric Eulogy Minister piskieinboots - Ambassador of 2-word Media Reviews
Sounds like you're happy with your new found career.......Any promotion prospects?........
sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,” -------------------------------------------------------------------- Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
----------------------------------------------------------- KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............
Sounds like you're happy with your new found career.......Any promotion prospects?........
The current team are actively seeking promotion from pay level 74 to 3. Any attempts to usurp will not be looked on with a kind eye.
Signed
A harrassed Executive of Ollietopia Inc.
I'm so glad no-one has asked what Ollietopia Inc actually does. Since it's a 'long firm' with no actual assets; if anyone went snooping around in the accounts (especially the pension fund) I'd be done-for.
So if you're asking, we...er...scout profitable growth opportunities in relationships, both internally and externally, in emerging, mission inclusive markets, and explore new paradigms and then filter, communicate and evangelize the findings, whilst drinking tea.
Current Executive Board Members at Ollietopia Inc: Snadger - Director of Poetry RedThorn - Chief Interrobang Officer Pumpkin Becki - Head of Dremel Multi-Tool Sales & Marketing and Management Support Jeanied - Olliecentric Eulogy Minister piskieinboots - Ambassador of 2-word Media Reviews
Bren, this all stems from the Dremel Multi Tool advert that kept popping up and annoying us (you may not have been with us at the time). If you look at Ollie's signature line, he's got four of us on his (mythical) Board of Executives, and Jeanied and I have straplines at the bottom of our signatures too (to humour Ollie, but don't tell him that). You'll find references popping up all over the place, even 'The Gardeners Rest #4'.
Bren, this all stems from the Dremel Multi Tool advert that kept popping up and annoying us (you may not have been with us at the time). If you look at Ollie's signature line, he's got four of us on his (mythical) Board of Executives, and Jeanied and I have straplines at the bottom of our signatures too (to humour Ollie, but don't tell him that). You'll find references popping up all over the place, even 'The Gardeners Rest #4'.
Erm, Numbers, a few pointers (I think you'll appreciate the format):
1) Ollietopia's board of executives are not 'mythical', they all have extremely important job titles.
2) The Dremel Multi Tool deparment is just one daughter company of Ollietopia Inc, which also has connections with poetry, interrobangs and giving compliments to the head of the company (Emperor of Ollietopia: OllieMartin)
3) Humouring the boss will not get you into pay band 73, that can only be gained from hard work, if only there was any work to do! Still you're getting the most out of the aforementioned benefits.
Current Executive Board Members at Ollietopia Inc: Snadger - Director of Poetry RedThorn - Chief Interrobang Officer Pumpkin Becki - Head of Dremel Multi-Tool Sales & Marketing and Management Support Jeanied - Olliecentric Eulogy Minister piskieinboots - Ambassador of 2-word Media Reviews
Erm, Numbers, a few pointers (I think you'll appreciate the format):
1) Ollietopia's board of executives are not 'mythical', they all have extremely important job titles.
2) The Dremel Multi Tool deparment is just one daughter company of Ollietopia Inc, which also has connections with poetry, interrobangs and giving compliments to the head of the company (Emperor of Ollietopia: OllieMartin)
3) Humouring the boss will not get you into pay band 73, that can only be gained from hard work, if only there was any work to do! Still you're getting the most out of the aforementioned benefits.
Rats! I was rumbled. As Head of Dremel Multi-Tool Sales and Marketing I hang my head in shame and beg forgiveness from the Mighty Emperor of Ollietopia. My understanding of the other dimensions and facets of Ollietopia are clearly very limited.
I shall have four Bloody Marys as pennence.
(Brengirl - never get me to explain Ollietopia to you again - now I'll never be promoted) ()
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