kids out of control

[jackie j]

I have never let my kids run around shops or cafe's, resturants etc. I bite my lips sometimes when people let the kids do what they want, I want to say this is not a playground.
What makes my blood boil at this time of year working in a supermarket as I do is parents who like to shop in the middle of the night...... and bring the kids with them and then shout at them cos they are moaning, crying screaming, so would I be if I was dragged out of a nice warm cosy bed to go SHOPPING.
Before 24 hour licensing people used to come to shop forgetting they couldnt buy booze after 10.55pm and blame us. No it was the goverment who made the rule,

[di]

Well firstly,I can't believe the comment about "pricing the Riff raff out"!The only ill behaved child I came across in town the other day was when I had to nip into M&S to use their loos....a snooty little girl persistently and craftily kept hitting Ash with her bag,he moved away so she started on Daisy,I asked her to stop and she cried and got a cuddle from her Mummy who gave me a look to kill!!!They were very well dressed and to the eye probably not what you'd consider riff raff,but positively ill mannered all the same!

Secondly,has anyone considered there may be other reasons for the kids behaviour?
Maybe they were just downright naughty or maybe they were feeling as angst as some of the grown ups and mirroring behaviour?(there's also a herll of a lot of rude adults in the shops this time of year!)

Also,please don't forget there are kids out there with autism/Aspergers...my sisters eldest two have Aspergers and the eldest has ADHD also...it's not always down to bad parenting and there have been so many occassions where she's gone home and cried because of comments made to her in shops.

Don't get me wrong,I have expectations of how mine should behave and if they slip up,they sure as heck know it,but like Kirsty,if I can help it I tend to shop on my own.

[kirsty b]

Di, I hate shopping generally, and find it hard to stick to the budget if pickle is with me too, cos she'll ask for something, and its generally a little something, so I say 'whats the harm?'. By the time I get home with extra little somethings for all of us, more than planned has been spent!!

Also, online shopping is great, pickle gets bored on the big monthly shops, and so do I (more than once I've been tempted to abandon the trolley and walk out). Doing it online, means I can sit in comfort with a cuppa, and she either plays in or out with her buddies, then a nice man drops it at my back door on the allotted day/time Winner!

[SarzWix]

Hands up, anyone who considers themselves a perfect parent...






No takers? Thought not...

[FionaH]

Hands up, anyone who considers themselves a perfect parent...






No takers? Thought not...

I am!






And I remind my kids of it regularly

[kirsty b]

Haha Fi, nice one!! As for perfect parent, I know I'm not!!

[di]

Haha Fi, nice one!! As for perfect parent, I know I'm not!!

But does Pickle think you are?
I know there's times that mine hate me for being so mean as daring to use the "no" word,but most of the time they love me!

[petal]

me too! but seriously folks, if you had seen what I have seen today, you would start to wonder. Not the kids fault, never is, and I doubt they all had aspergers. Maybe the parents did. Are we allowed to say that? I wonder if its a combination of taking kids out too late in the day, too much snow and a consequence of years of bad parenting on top of that. (we all have our lousy parenting moments but when push comes to shove..)

[FionaH]

But does Pickle think you are?
I know there's times that mine hate me for being so mean as daring to use the "no" word,but most of the time they love me!

My youngest used to hate me most of the time, nasty while it lasts. He loves me now as long as I dont use the N word

When he was little my Mum used to put him on an extending dog lead in shops Never worked out if that was abusive or inspired.

[SarzWix]

I 'spect every one of us who has been in a shop today has seen what you saw. Kids react to the state of mind of the parent, and if the parent(s) is stressed and distracted, the kids will react to that. Everyone in that shop has my sympathy, because I don't suppose anyone was enjoying it. You might possibly have had your kids under better control, but would any of you have left the shop happy? Or would you have to threaten to lose your temper every 5 minutes to keep the kids 'under control'?

[di]

me too! but seriously folks, if you had seen what I have seen today, you would start to wonder. Not the kids fault, never is, and I doubt they all had aspergers. Maybe the parents did. Are we allowed to say that? I wonder if its a combination of taking kids out too late in the day, too much snow and a consequence of years of bad parenting on top of that. (we all have our lousy parenting moments but when push comes to shove..)

I know you didn't mean any offence Petal....sorry if I came across a little curt!
There certainly do seem to be a fair share of parents out there that don't seem to give two hoots as to how their kiddies behave,it gets to me too.Just I guess having been the shoulder for my sis on numerous occassions I get a little defensive when assumptions are made.
Just to set the record straight,she's never not disciplined her boys just because,just sometimes,no matter what,they're not in the mood/not capable of acting the way that's expected of them.It's not an excuse,more a reason.
It may be different for other mums,but knowing what she's been through I just felt I had to say something.

[weekendwellies]

Hands up, anyone who considers themselves a perfect parent...






No takers? Thought not...

Umm. Not perfect, no, but I sure do put a lot of effort into it. And when my girls are a little older, I am hoping that they will see that I did the best that I could possibly do. Despite the times when we have all had to go without things that we have wanted, and the times when I have just been to darn tired to take them to swimming/library/friends house, I believe that as a single, unhelped, working mother I have done a damn good job so far, and we are nearly at the point now where they can step out into adulthood as confident, grounded, well adjusted members of society.
As far as the parents of children who have autism/Aspergers/ADHD etc yes they have extra issues that they need to deal with, and they have my utmost respect for keeping calm and patient, I don't think I would be able to cope myself in that situation. But this is not the case for a lot of the families that Petal was originally describing.

[Brengirl]

Hands up, anyone who considers themselves a perfect parent...






No takers? Thought not...

I have 4 grown up 'children' who have in total 13 children of their own who in their turn have given us 7 more.
Last year I congratulated them on a job well done and was quite touched when one daughter announced that was because they had been set a good example.
If their is a secret I think that is it.
I am most definitely not 'perfect' but was never ashamed to admit my failures to them. In fact I remember sitting them all down once and telling them being a Mum was the first time I had ever done it. Was likely to make mistakes and needed their help and co-operation. We became a team.

[Two_Sheds]

i have never seen so many, rude, badly behaved kids in all my life!

Yeah, they're normally in school. And people think teachers have an easy life: imagine trying to control 24 of the little darlings all at once, and teach them maths

A lot of parents I see have no idea how to (or why they should) discipline their children at all. The parents are shouting at each other and swearing, so the children copy them. If you dare, as another adult, to intervene, you get the most filthy looks or "who do you think you are?"

Children in my class are lovely kids, but a lot of them have no idea how to sit and listen, how to not interrupt the adult. They sulk and slam chairs if they aren't happy, they mess about and are rude. It's the example they are set at home. We do our best, but what can you do? We only have them for a few hours a day.



On the other hand, my sister is on benefits, they have nothing: yet her kids are really well mannered, funny, intelligent and nice, because she has brought them up to be respectful and use their Ps and Qs (although they have their moments).


Mr TS nor his parents, will discipline his daughter when she is rude and jumping on the furniture, because she (at 7) turns round and says "I won't come and stay with you any more if you tell me off". Who wears the trousers?

[FionaH]

I was a single Mum for a long time with our boys, and I have a theory:

Work hard, do the best you can, earn enough to pay for their therapy later

They you have it, the world according to Fi

Merry Christmas everyone