My first Christmas whinge, sorry!

[SlugLobber]

It took me 5 and a half hours of traffic jams and motorway driving to get here, yesterday (Bolton), after friends and Mum asked me if I was coming up at Christmas. One of the friends has blown me out completely and I will see the other tonight for one evening (fair enough, at least she didn't blow me out!).

I told my Mum months ago that I was coming up, but she hasn't made any effort with her work and booked NO days off. She was working yesterday 5-10pm, today 7:30-5pm (and I go to see that friend at 6pm) and tomorrow afternoon and evening. Originally planning to go home Tuesday, I am now planning tomorrow after she's gone to work, as there's no bloody point sitting here on the laptop, when I could be at home doing constructive stuff. We won't have a festive meal together (that was yesterday and mine was in the microwave, congealed and disgusting, as she didn't wait for me to ge here, eating hers about 3pm).

Currently a but peed off and missing out on a trator drive around the Surrey Villages. Boo!

[SlugLobber]

Hmmm that should be traCtor, obviously, but I'll leave it there, for Redneck accent effect!

[weekendwellies]

Put it down to experience. Maybe next year you could invite them to yours?!

[SarzWix]

Oh, that's a bit rubbish SL
My sisters used to get a similar thing when they came home for Christmas. The house is in the middle of nowhere though, and even the internet wasn't an option (Dial-up!). They used to get chuntered at no end if they arranged to go off with friends, and ended up having to treck round after my mum on interminable shopping trips 'round the Sales'.

On the other hand, we'd all give anything to be able to treck round the shops after her now

Have you mentioned how you're feeling to your Mum? Or would it precipitate World War III ? Perhaps she thought you'd be caught up with your old friends?

(((((hugs)))))) anyway.

[Jeanied]

I'm with Weekendwellies on this one - have Christmas at your place next time and then you can arrange it to suit. And I bet you'll do a brilliant job of it too- specially with a village tractor ride!

[janeyo]

Come spend it with us next year, more than welcome as I don't go to work and bore people silly all xmas

[SlugLobber]

My house simply isn't big enough to have many people in it, but next year hopefully will be in with OH, so it's a thought. Only trouble is, my Mum doesn't drive and as you know, transport at Christmas, well, isn't. She's got quite a temper and I fear for the travel personnel, lol!

I will be saying something to my Mum, but having seen her for minutes at a time so far, haven't really had the chance, as it's not something which comes out like a comment about the weather - she did the same thing in August (even worse, actually!), but then she knew I had come up to do a tour of my home town with aforesaid friend, so I let her off for that. This time I had told her that I was coming HOME for Christmas. Ah well. As you say, Weekend Wellies. experience. Just a costly one, as I spend over £100 just to be here.

[Snadger]

My Son and family arrived just before Christmas dinner was being dished out.

OH and I's first Christmas just by ourselves and we finished up with heated up dinner 5 hours later!

Such is life!

[seasprout]

Now i am sorry your having a crap time...but can I just say this... Please don't take it the wrong way, or be offended....please....but..

Considering the distance you travelled, in horrible weather you did really well to get there, unhurt, this Christmas many people on long journeys didn't arrive at all. Unhurt or otherwise due to the weather.

Also this is the 5th Christmas without my mum. I would give anything, anything to be able to have a cuddle,row,rant,laugh with her.

Now please tell your mum how you feel, and whenever you set off, please have a safe journey home, and I will leave you a plate of Mince pies on the hard shoulder of the M1 just after Leicester Forest East, cos I live right near there. (If your passing).

Merry christmas everybody and a quiet newyear. (Gone and upset myself now)

[Jeanied]

I think the fact that your Mum doesn't drive really says it all - she doesn't realise how hard it is to travel to see her in all weathers and all circumstances! Find a local B+B to sort out the accommodation issue and go for it next year!

[northepaul]

It took me 5 and a half hours of traffic jams and motorway driving to get here, yesterday (Bolton), after friends and Mum asked me if I was coming up at Christmas. One of the friends has blown me out completely and I will see the other tonight for one evening (fair enough, at least she didn't blow me out!).

I told my Mum months ago that I was coming up, but she hasn't made any effort with her work and booked NO days off. She was working yesterday 5-10pm, today 7:30-5pm (and I go to see that friend at 6pm) and tomorrow afternoon and evening. Originally planning to go home Tuesday, I am now planning tomorrow after she's gone to work, as there's no bloody point sitting here on the laptop, when I could be at home doing constructive stuff. We won't have a festive meal together (that was yesterday and mine was in the microwave, congealed and disgusting, as she didn't wait for me to ge here, eating hers about 3pm).

Currently a but peed off and missing out on a trator drive around the Surrey Villages. Boo!

That is a bummer for you Sluglobber, families can be such hard work cant they?

Although I spent the time with my most important people (My OH and my Kids) I really wanted to see my Dad at some point, he has terminal cancer and this could very well be his last christmas, but his wife (NOT my mum I hasten to add) hates me, (for some rediculous and stupid reason) and so I didnt get to see him at all and am unlikely to either. The worst, I feel is that my youngest, only has one grandparent (= him) who she hardly ever sees.

[lizzylemon]

Big Hugs to you - what a waste of time, money and now emotions. I really hope it gets resolved for you (but if you're anything like me you'll just slink off home feeling rejected and down) and that next year is better what ever you decide to do.

This was the 1st year at MY house with just the hubs and our little girl but because my parents were too stubbon to change their plans and wouldn't come to mine for the day. Can't say it'll be the same next year cos the guilt's already being piled on but at least I can say I actually did it. teheheheheh!

[bramble]

Slughopper, if you don't think you can say all of this to her face to face, it might be better to put it all in a letter when you feel calmer.

[SarzWix]

That's just how I feel Seasprout. They can be infuriating as anything, but better to be infuriated than not have 'em

Thea, go anyway!! She can hate you all she wants, but surely won't actually physically prevent you from seeing him?! Take her flowers, or whatever it takes. I know I would.

[miffy]

Christmas is a tricky time for families for all sorts of reasons.
If you have lost someone it cruely magnifies that, also any chinks in family relationships can become huge gapes as families come together when they are stressed and tired trying to fulfill the hype that is 'the perfect family christmas'.
I have learnt the hard way that i can never please all the people all the time.
Christmas in our home is always quiet, my ex walked out some years back the week before christmas and that is how my son found out father christmas didn't exist! As that is what he wished for on Christmas day to have his daddy there, when it didn't happen he said he didn't believe in father christmas anymore.
Since then we have done our own thing, we go where we would like to, we eat what we would like to eat. We had indian food for our christmas lunch this year.
Last year we went for a long walk and had a picnic, yep a picnic in december!!!

I think if the situation with your mum is upsetting you so much you need to talk to her and start the new year off afresh, it isn't easy. My relationship with my mum has taken 40 years to sort out! and even now we have to really work at it.

Families are a joy but also the biggest cause of headaches and they can make you feel a whole host of emotions like no one else on the planet can, good and bad!

When you are refreshed from Christmas make time to talk to your mum about things, it won't be easy but it will start the new year off afresh and at least you will both know where you stand.
Good luck, happy new year.