family loss

[bobleponge]

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

[rustylady]

Hi Tracy, my deepest sympathies. Loss of a loved one is always hard, but more so at this time of the year when we are told everyone is supposed to be happy. My mum died just before Christmas 1999 and I've never ever forgotten it - Christmas and New Year have never been the same since then. The pain does get less with time, but never goes away completely. My dad, bless him, died on my birthday, so that is another date I will never forget.

[Flummery]

Sorry to hear your news Tracy. The pain does dull but you miss them forever. That's the downside of love. Fortunately, it's the only downside.
Thinking of you.

Flum

[Comfreyfan]

Deepest sympathy to you and your family Tracy. There are no rights and wrongs, all you can really do is accept how you feel and be kind to yourself and OH.

[Nicos]

Hugs from me too xx

(Just a thought- can you write down some lovely memories you have of him to be read at the funeral/wake?..spending an hour or so thinking of the good times may help you to 'say goodbye' in your own way)

[basketcase]

So sorry to hear of your (and your husband's) loss. Yes, rubbish does happen, but hang on in there and take care of yourself and your OH. Life does go on - rejoin it when you're ready to.

[jackie j]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Loosing someone close is very hard, dont be too hard on yourself for feeling angry and sad. I know I went to pieces when I lost my sister to cancer two years ago and certainly before she should have, far too young. Life goes on but not a day goes past without me thinking about her, mostly good times that we shared.
Yesterday was the funeral of my daughters friends mum, the two girls she has left behind are 12 and 15, and no dad around. Very sad, very hard.
Think about the things you shared with him, take each day at a time.
Hugs to you and your family.

[Alison]

I lost my dad to cancer about 15 years ago after almost 3 years of increasing suffering. We'd watched him go from being a strong and independent man to somebody who needed us to help him sit up in bed so when my mum rang up to say that he had gone to sleep after his tea and not woken up I was mightily relieved as he had had enough. I'd seen him earlier in the day and I knew it was for the best. As a family most of us had done our greiving when he was alive and knew that we couldn't have the man we wanted back again. However one of my brothers hadn't been about so much (young family, work, distance etc) and it hit him much harder as a shock as he wasn't prepared for it and the fact that you are overseas may be making it more difficult for you as it is harder for you to do anything practical to help.

OH's dad died totally out the blue from a heart attack and he had to deal with the shock as well as the grief. Neither are ideal situations and both men are still missed many years later but we've all carried on with our lives. Grief is normal and part of the healing process. I don't have beliefs about the afterlife but firmly believe that people live on in our memories and the influence they had on our life. In your own time, you'll get on with things.

[dexterdoglancashire]

Sorry to hear your news Tracey. It is always a shock when someone close to you passes away, whether they were ill or not. Take comfort from the happy times you had whilst he was with you.

[snuffer]

Not going to say, I know how you feel but I do remember how I felt at a similar time. Just to let you know that others are thinking of you and yours at this sad time. Take care.

snuffer.

[binley100]

Having lost my Mum just before Christmas I know how you must be feeling. Yes you do have to try and carry on as best you can. We have managed to get through Christmas and new Year even though it was very strange. It is sh## but you do gradually come to terms with it . Be there for each other as much as possible and try to remember all the good times.
Thinking of you. Big Hugs. xxxxx

[SueA]

Very sorry for your loss Tracy (& Vicky & Binley). Even when you know someone is terminally ill it's still an awful blow when they die & it takes time to heal.

[selfraising]

Sorry to hear your sad news, take care