Happy New Year ?

[stella]

Hi Selfraising try not to worry too much I know it is easy to say and very hard to do. Fingers crossed for you that it will be nothing to worry about.

[Florence Fennel]

All good wishes to you SR, I hope things get better.

[Glutton4...]

Fingers crossed for you SR. We are going through a crappy time at the mo, but your post kind of puts things into perspective. Thinking of you, and wishing you well, whichever way things blow.

[bobleponge]

I would have said roughly what Nicos and Glutton said, but they said it better than I ever could.

Hope things sort out soon big fella, thoughts and best wishes to you and yours.

[lizzylemon]

Rat I'm so sorry to hear of your family having such a hard time. Its a truly difficult situation and, having lived through something similar, I wish you all well and hope you find a solution that soothes you all. If it's any help, Nicos is very true when she says it can take a long time for the situation to end, and hard as it sounds, life goes on in the mean time.

My beloved Grandmother died of lung cancer a few years back, and because of my personal circumstances (no commitments other than work) I was lucky(?) enough to be there every day for her. However it took 3 long and pain filled months for her to finally let go and there were weeks where every breath she took seemed to be her last until the next one was taken (I remember watching her chest to see if it would rise again every time it happened).

I'm sure if she'd been mentally alert she'd had told me to say goodbye and then get on my life and "not waste time waiting for an old goat to die" (her words not mine) but she went into an Alzheimer's state of confusion early in the illness so had no idea what was what most of the time

Personally I'm glad I could do it - I needed to.
My dad wishes he never did it for his mother as he says it stole his good memories of her and my mum couldn't do it for hers and won't talk about it even now.

[kirsty b]

Rat, thats a rough start to the New Year for all of you, and having been through similar experiences with family, I know how rough it can be. All the best to you and your wife, and you will make the decision that works for you. Nicos much more eloquent!

As Nicos said, it is surprising how long a person can hang on sometimes.

[scarey55]

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said - just know that there is a huge "family" here all thinking of you and yours. Take care matey - things can only get better.

[ginger ninger]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sad start to the year, I really feel for you at the moment SR its not a nice place to be at, these aren't decisions that can be made light heartedly, but I'm sure between you & your wife you'll come to the right one's that will suit all involved. Your FIL might not even know you've all been to see him, that's the sad thing about this illness, my Dad has dementia, he tells my sister he hasn't seen me in years, I visit him 4 times a week and ring him every day, its heartbreaking. There's not much I can add to what's already been said, all I can do is give you a ((((((BIG HUG)))))) and hope for better times for all of you. XXXX

[beefy]

Sorry to here that SR - not the best start to the New Year. Are you still over here in Nothern Ireland ? If you are and need any help drop me a note and I'll do my best to help.

[Snadger]

Chin up rat, in the hope that you and yours have happier times coming for the rest of this year.

[rustylady]

My thoughts are with you and yours SR.

[FionaH]

Thought and prayers are with you. Not much more I can say really.

[dexterdoglancashire]

Thinking of you all SR. Sending big ((((HUGS)))).
Love Bernie

[maytreefrannie]

Sewer Rat, Thinking of you and the family good wishes.

Thoughts too for Self Raising - hope things work out right for you all.

[Jeanied]

I can only echo what everyone else has said Sewer Rat - a rotten way to start the year and I hope you can manage to work out what you can: and remember not to beat yourselves up about things. Take care, and we are all supporting you here on the Vine.