So sad ...............

[its hilly]

Tony give your daughter a hug on my behalf. Its tragic knowing your partner is dying, and with alcohol you always feel you could have/should have stopped them somehow..that if they cared about you they'd stop. Sadly that just isn't the case, as with most serious addictions and I hope she realises that.
I married a heavy drinker, you dont think about it when you're young and in love, and was divorced after 5 years as I could no longer live with him, by then I had realised he was alcoholic. I was lucky..despite all that happened we are still friendly when we meet. He lost two wives and his daughter, jobs, money, driving licence, wrote off cars, but he didn't have a problem!
I really enjoy wine with meals and a glass or two on Saturday night, or with friends..but if it meant walking five mins up the road in the rain to buy some I'd rather not bother.

[miffy]

That is so sad Tony. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

Re drink and young people. My son is now 18 and due to health problems and tablets he was on during his teens he was unable to drink. Whilst at parties sober he watched his friends experimenting with alcohol getting really drunk and he was the one who held their hair back whilst they threw up in the loos. Phoned their mums to come and get them etc and swore he would never get drunk.

About three months ago he went to an 18th party held in a barn with his friends, he was still on his tablets at the time. He decided he would choose this night to drink and promptly drank half a bottle of vodka. We got a very distressed phone call from his friends to hurry and come and get him. He was literally legless and unable to walk, he is over 6 foot and a rugby player so not easy to prop up!

When we got home we had to prop him up as he kept trying to pass out and was throwing up as he did so. His dad is a nurse and made him stay awake and drink water to make him vomit. He was in an awful state.

The next afternoon a very weary looking chap emerged from his bedroom put his head on my shoulder and said, 'if that is what drinking does to you mum i don't ever want to drink again' and to this day he hasn't touched a drop.

He goes out with friends and has soft drinks and prefers it that way.

I too have been at the recieving end of someone who was a drunk driver, i had just parked my car and was walking across the road to the house when he swerved across the road and hit the car head on. The police said if i had still been standing there i would have been dead. He caused £4.500 worth of damage to the car, hit the telephone lines and took out our phones and then ran off and was never caught.

I think our attitude in this country to drink is far too lax and children and young people are not sufficiently educated to realise how dangerous and addictive it is.

I am so sorry for your family and my heart goes out to you all at this sad time.

[Hilary B]

It isn't so much a LAX attitude as a LAZY one. Young folk need to learn that you can enjoy yourself without being drunk (whether you drink a little or none) and one important part of that is encouraging a social life that is not dependant on the age divide.
Yes of course they want to enjoy themselves with their friends, but it seems that these days friendship is age-dependant for so many younger folk.
What is the first question people ask of a new online acquaintance? "How old are you?" and to so many, if you aren't in the same age category, they don't want to know!
Why do so many young adults (and not-quite-adults) reject 'going out' in family group? Is it that their parents have never been interested in treating them as people-with-less-experience-of-life rather than children, or is it simply the 'I'm a teenager so I know all about everything' syndrome?

[Nicos]

Hilary- that's one thing we've found out since arriving here- the young French peeps are more than happy to hang around with and chat with people of other generations It's very refreshing to be honest.
Very few of my children's friends would come into the house and chat with us for a few minutes before going out with our kids. Over here they come in and sit down for 5-45 mins before going out for the evening.
It actually makes me feel a more interesting person if think about it!
Interestingly it's the Brits we've met over here who seem to drik quite a bit-often one botle of wine will surfice for 6 peep during a meal, and is served in smaller glasses so everyone gets a top up.
Yes ,of course, there are the guys who get through a bottle of cheapo wine each day with their lunch, but so far it's not as common as I'd expected.
Meals are usually family orientated too, even midweek lunch.It's lovely.

Tony- how are things going? x

[TonyF]

Hi Nicos, couldn't agree more about the drinking culture amongst the Brits here. It horrifies me. In our commune a guy left our home in 2006, over loaded his car despite us trying to stop him, crashed car, 4 dead and it's taken ages to deal with all the crap that flowed from that. But within days of the accident, Brits were rolling out of a soiree far too much to drink.

Lots of soiree locally, especially through spring/summer/autumn you see more than enough drunk Brits but very few drunk French people.

As for DiL, the hospital have said she has no liver function at all, seriously damaged lungs, she's double bagged because she's incontinent, bright yellow, other organs are failing but she's hanging on in there. J goes back tomorrow to support our daughter, I'm staying here for a while because I'm double cat sitting but am on notice to go back if needed urgently.

J will help Martina find a hospice for DiL, she's had the last rites and all that religious stuff so now just a matter of time.

And thanks to everybody for their messages, it's much appreciated. I don't mean to lecture people about drinking but because of the road accident and now this, my views on over-consumption and getting wrecked for the sake of it - ffs, at new year, people (Brits) of 60 plus were pissed where we were - just seems to be beyond stupidity to me now.

[piskieinboots]

Because of this thread I am (now) doing an eight-week abstinence - to see if I can!

I don't go out and get steaming drunk and roll around the streets, even when I do go out with the 'lads' I am not a rolling drunk, I can usually remember what I did or said.

But Tony, you have made me think about my alcohol consumption more than ever anyone has.

Thank you

[Glutton4...]

I too am more conscious of my consumption. Both my Parents drink, and each says the other drinks too much. I have to say, I don't get the enjoyment out of it that I used to, so perhaps I'm growing up at last!

Stories like this, and subsequent posts, certainly make you think, don't they?

[SarzWix]

Because of this thread I am (now) doing an eight-week abstinence - to see if I can!
[...]

I too am more conscious of my consumption. [..]

Stories like this, and subsequent posts, certainly make you think, don't they?

That's the best things I've read today, this week, this year.

[piskieinboots]

That's the best things I've read today, this week, this year.

I am currently sipping camomile tea instead of brandy/whisky pre-bed time - it's a start