Wrong to feel this way??

[piskieinboots]

I love the idea of paying the money in 1p coins, that would really infuriate him

what's the smallest Euro coin? get the dosh in those

[RedThorn]

At the end of the day, unfortunately it's between your daughter and the dad. Keep on giving her loads of love and support as you usually does. When the guy loses his daughter over £300, be there to pick up the pieces of your daughter and start putting her back together again. {{{hugs}}} not an easy thing to do(stand back and let it happen)


End of the day, you've raised her and now she needs to make her own choices. Thoughts with her as this cannot be easy.

What an idiot to put money over his own little girl. Money is his own personal cancer. A daughter is a blessing more precious than any other gift a father could hope or wish for

[zazen999]

A bag of chocolate coins, with a note telling him their relationship will soon melt away if he values £ over his daughter.

Where do you want me to send them? I'm THAT annoyed!

[selfraising]

Thankyou so much everyone for your opnions and good wishes As I am so close to the situation, it was interesting to hear an unbiased opinion and I'm relieved to see that I am not overreacting. Sadly my daughter loves him (he's still her dad) and she is desperate to please him and worried she may do the wrong thing, so I don't think she would ever risk confronting him for fear of losing him.

[zazen999]

Thankyou so much everyone for your opnions and good wishes As I am so close to the situation, it was interesting to hear an unbiased opinion and I'm relieved to see that I am not overreacting. Sadly my daughter loves him (he's still her dad) and she is desperate to please him and worried she may do the wrong thing, so I don't think she would ever risk confronting him for fear of losing him.

*cracks open chocolate coins and eats them.

I'm sure one day he will come to his senses about what's important in life.

[selfraising]

I would like to think so Zazen but sadly I doubt it. He hasn't spoken to his sister in 3 years because she owes him money and is currently unable to pay it back Last year he didn't speak to my two girls for two months because they were two days late in sending him his 50th birthday card and he made mincemeat with them over the phone to the point they were both crying at the end of it. He's a nasty piece of work and what annoys me is that none of us have the confidence to stand up to the man and I guess he knows it

Sadly in order to finance both girls at university, we are beholden to him and he has that hold on us.

[jackie j]

Jeremy Kyle springs to mind. When your girls are older they will know who loves them. Money cannot buy love and that is what he is doing. He tells his friends ( if he has any ) that he supports his childrens education, pays his way, makes him look big. He is not, he is the lowest of the low. You are all bigger than him, he is jealous that your daughters are with you, he cannot control any of you any more and he doesnt like it. I would get your daughter to pay him a regular amount each month that she feels she can afford, by direct debit into a bank account. Just say sorry dad but at the moment its all I can afford to pay but if my circumstances change I will increase the amount.
My own sons always come to me for help and only go to their dad to use him. They openly admit this to me. They know I have always helped where I can but their dad never has and never will. As yet he hasnt even offered any help to my sons forthcoming wedding next year. Yet he expects his other ex wife to be invited to the wedding.
Hugs to you and hope he sees sense.

[Incy]

Big hugs SR. The man sounds like a prize idiot. My parents have bailed most of us (there are 12 of us) out over the years even though their own finances were stretched to the max and they would never dream of demanding the money back in a situation like this.
Be thankful your daughter doesn't have to live with the loveless fool and instead has a happy loving home with you. I agree with the suggestion she pays it bit by bit. After all that is what a court would recommend if someone was on a low income, which, as a student she is.
I would suggest she takes out breakdown cover though to avoid any future problems.

[selfraising]

Thanks Incy, I will suggest the paying back a bit at a time to her although don't think her dad will go for it as he knows that she has recieved the compensation. We have taken out fully comp for her now with breakdown cover to avoid this happening again. As neither my current OH or I drive, we didn't realise that fully comp could be cheaper than third party, so we took what we thought was the cheaper option.

[northepaul]

What a terrible situation to be in SR, I can kind of understand what you are going through as I was also married to an a...hole like that once.....

My thoughts are with you and your lovely daughter, and wish you the best of the best

[Hilary B]

Just because the insurers paid her, that doesn't mean he is entitled to it. She might suggest he takes it off what he is going to pay towards her education, rather than pay him back only to have him hand over (or NOT hand over) education money later.

[selfraising]

That's a good idea HilaryB, I will tell her!!

[Glutton4...]

Where does he live - he needs a slap!

Sorry, I can't think of anything constructive or polite to say about the <bleep> <bleep> bloke. He doesn't deserve the space he occupies. Send him the money, in one penny coins, at about a tenner a month. That should annoy him sufficiently.

What an a-hole!

[FionaH]

Where does he live - he needs a slap! (

So glad I am not the only one advocating mindless violence!

I knew I could rely on you Glutton

[selfraising]

Where does he live - he needs a slap!

Sorry, I can't think of anything constructive or polite to say about the <bleep> <bleep> bloke. He doesn't deserve the space he occupies. Send him the money, in one penny coins, at about a tenner a month. That should annoy him sufficiently.

What an a-hole!

Actually your neck of the woods - Wickford