the benefits of growing older

[piskieinboots]

....we understood that you had to work for our money.

How much do you want me to earn for you

So agree though, I have a pal (she is very early 30s) who still lives of Bank of Dad shocking

[Alison]

How much do you want me to earn for you

So agree though, I have a pal (she is very early 30s) who still lives of Bank of Dad shocking

Must learn to read my posts before posting

[bramble]

The upside of getting older.
My hubby and myself are retired.
We have our free pass.
We can travel all over the country for free.
Downside of getting old.
You become babysitter to your grand kids.
You are always expected to be home when your kids call.
Who're supposed to be able to provide the answer to all their problems.
Having said that, I wouldn't change places with anyone.

[dexterdoglancashire]

We were all expected to get some sort of job as soon as we were old enough even if that was just a few hours on a Saturday morning. The money earnt was ours but it was important that we understood that mum and dad weren't a bank and that we understood that you had to work for our money.

Yep, I agree. Even though I was an only child, at the earliest opportunity I was encouraged to get a Saturday/Sunday job. Working as cashier/petrol pump attendant at the local petrol station.
When I was a student I worked at a local bakery during the winter/summer hols (starting work at 6am!!!). Throughout all my student days I never asked my parents for a single additional penny.
(I just asked Mr DDL as he was my boyfriend!)
I do feel sorry for students these days - what with the loans they have to get to pay for their studies. I wouldnt wish that on anyone, starting work but having a massive loan to repay is no way to start off your working life.

[Alison]

I do feel sorry for students these days - what with the loans they have to get to pay for their studies. I wouldnt wish that on anyone, starting work but having a massive loan to repay is no way to start off your working life.

I think that sometimes you can get to the point that you have what seems like such a large debt at such a young age that debt becomes the normal and it makes it very hard to live within your means. Preparing teenagers to stand on their own feet will help to a certain extent but obviously there is a lot more to it than that - could rant here for sometime about some of the pointless degrees that are available that cause debt with minimal chances of a job at the end but that's another story entirely and I'd probably end up being tactless and annoy somebody.

[RedThorn]

Had a paper round from 10 then on the day I turned 16, got a part time job in a news agents, at 17 moved out and have fended for myself ever since. Parents over 8000 miles away so ain't convenient baby sitters either... Sister on the other hand is 32 and still using the bank of dad...go figure

[TPeers]

My first job, at age 16 was as the weekend cook in a local school for the disabled. I had to prepare and plate up to 30 meals to a deadline and after the second weekend I had no help.

£5 an hour which was good money back in the mid-eighties for a teenager.

M&D never pushed for me to work while I was still studying - and as I took a 4 year degree that went on a while! And Dad paid an annuity (you could back then) to cover my accommodation and ancillary costs. (The fees were paid by the council - one of the last years that happened)

The hardest part of being a stay at home Mum for me has been the lack of financial independence. I have a lovely and loving husband who gives me a generous housekeeping allowance - but it is not the same.

I still have to go to M&D, cap in hand, if something major crops up - though it is rare, and I always pay back, I wouldn't dream of not doing so; my brother on the other hand is 3 years older than me and while he is currently employed he lives on the bank of Dad - Mum having lost the plot and denied him any more of her money - a long and sad story.

[weekendwellies]

I haven't pressed too hard over her getting a Saturday job as she has such a lot of school work and is expected to do pretty well so it is a balance between working hard at school and finding a bit of time to do a job. I wouldn't want her education and future to be jepodised over earning a few quid at this point in her life.
I have given them both all that I am able to as they have grown up, which is limited I have to say, and really want them to do better for themselves than I have been able to do for myself.
They are clear though that I will not be funding them indefinitely and that they must stand on their own 2 feet as soon as practical. Their education is very important though and I would be happy to support them until that is finished, whenever it may be.
Driving lessons, and when the test is passed the purchase and running of a car will definitely not be funded by me.

Lots of love, that comes free and they can have as much of that as they want.

[Alison]

The hardest part of being a stay at home Mum for me has been the lack of financial independence. I have a lovely and loving husband who gives me a generous housekeeping allowance - but it is not the same.

Seem to remember saying us both promising what's yours is mine in front of witnesses when we got spliced, if you're a stay at home mum then you're doing your share in the same way he is by going out to work. All monies coming into the house is as much yours as his. Fair enough if you set a budget jointly between yourselves (not clear from you post so sorry if that's the case) but it should be equal when you both work hard in different ways.

Lots of love, that comes free and they can have as much of that as they want.

I like

[petal]

Funny, I had a discussion with my husband about when we expect the kids to start finding a pocket money job and we decided against expecting it. We both worked from early ages and missed out on so much free time. At 12 years old I used to be mucking out stables all day Saturday for a pittance whilst my 'friends' were out hacking and sneering at me , whilst my husband would be helping milkman on his round at 5 in the morning all weathers before school for many years. Does it make you a better person? I think children should be allowed to be children, if they are in full time education until 18 they have little time left for fun after their studies. I will let my two choose as to whether they get a little job or not until then. As it is I give pocket money for extra jobs, like sweeping the yard, mowing the lawn etc.

[kirsty b]

Had paper round at 12, the local free weekly in our village. Shared with younger sis as village was (still is) quite spread out so we split it. Got fed up with having to share all of 2.50 with her, so ended up in the local Starburger at 13 and stayed with them till I was 17. Have always had some job or another no matter what, recently I had 3 jobs but now back to one, and I clean for an old lady once a week.

Eldest stepson (19) expects everyone to give him a living - has just lost his jobseekers again cos he can't be bothered to go and sign on, can't be bothered to look for a job and didn't bother at school. He's not the brightest and I'm not sure what assistance he got offered academically (long story). He's moved out now and we only see him when he's on the scrounge.

In contrast middle stepson at 16, has his provisional, passed CBT, has a legal moped on the road and can't wait to finish school so he can get job/apprenticeship going so he can save for driving at 17. He's not daft so I reckon he'll do pretty well in his GCSE's too.

[TPeers]

Seem to remember saying us both promising what's yours is mine in front of witnesses when we got spliced, if you're a stay at home mum then you're doing your share in the same way he is by going out to work. All monies coming into the house is as much yours as his. Fair enough if you set a budget jointly between yourselves (not clear from you post so sorry if that's the case) but it should be equal when you both work hard in different ways.

Oh yes, we made that promise too!

In principle that is fine but in practice it doesn't quite work that way - I never expected it to. While I am joint name on the bank account it is his account, his money and he pays the bills and queries every one that he has not personally incurred. He mutters about the garden, comments on clothing and whinges about school outings the cost of Hazel's smart card for lunches and holiday costs.

I do earn pin money with an avon round now that both kids are at full-time school and while he agrees that that is my money - he is loading the bills onto it, which I would find less unfair if he would pick up his own clothes and tidy up after himself such that I had the time to do the job I want!

But this is life, I might whinge a little but we get on well and the kids have all they need. This is the rough that goes with the smooth of being married! I can't have one without the other.

[JanieB]

I came from a (relatively) well-off background. My dad was a doctor. We lived in a huge house with 3 1/2 acres of garden.

When one by one, myself, my sister and my brother each passed our 11+ we had to attend a state boarding school as there was no local Grammar School. We were all given the same allowance each week. An allowance as we had to pay for things during the week eg sanitary towels, cookery ingredients, stockings etc. It always seemed (and was) unfair that our brother got the same allowance as us when he didn't have the same girly overheads but heyho.

Any money left over was our pocket money. We were all encouraged to increase this by any legal means we could. My sister and I used to gather the excess produce from the garden and sell it to the local greengrocers (they still had proper ones in those days). We worked for our dad and did his administrative work (no practice partnerships like today). I also used to cover for his receptionist when she was ill or on holiday.

When I did the idiotic thing and got pregnant thereby giving up my chance of university, I still worked. I married the boy next door, a farmer. I milked cows, picked potatoes, calved and milked cows.

I'm now 62 and have worked all my life (including while I was a single mum and taking a degree). Financially I could retire, but the last couple of weeks has taught me that it would drive me up the wall. In the summer I have plenty to do, but being stuck at home with no gardening, horrible weather and dark nights is bl00dy boring.

[bramble]

I am in my 60's now and lived in a very rural area which was mostly farming. Myself and my sister were always hired to pick the fruit from the surrounding orchards in the summer. We also lived near a daffodil farmer and we would cut the flowers, put them in bunches of 6 with an elastic band around them and pack them into long cardboard boxes. We absolutely loved it.
When it came to harvesting the hay we would bring cans of tea out to the men in the fields and they would always make sure they rewarded us for it.
I had a great childhood growing up in the countryside and would never want to chage it.
We did'nt have a lot of money but it was an ideal way for kids to grow up out in the fresh air all day.

[Hilary B]

I remember getting a very little pocketmoney, but I could supplement it by doing little jobs, from about 8 years old. I had 3 big sisters, and once I knew how to polish shoes, that was my job each morning. For every pair I kept polished all week I got 3d (double for Dad's shoes because they were so much bigger) since my pocket money was 1/6 (and bought plenty of sweets), I didn't do too badly out of that!
At 15 I got a Saturday job in Woolworths. The pay was 3 shillings an hour.
When my 2 were 12 they were at a boarding school because by then we lived on an island and while it was JUST possible to travel to school daily (except when the weather was too bad for the ferry) that was leaving home well before 7am, and not getting back until after 5 (and missing official registration, so attendance record was not so good).
They got a monthly allowance which had to cover lunches etc.
I reckon having a restricted income (but able to earn a bit extra) helps kids to learn money management (with mixed quality of results).