Fallen out with Sister

[miffy]

I am a middle child, growing up i was totally aware that my brother and sister didn't really understand or like me. Being an easy going soul i always forgave them and continued to try and build a relationship with them. As we got older i continued to stay in touch, phone, pop over etc..
However they totally turned on me when i went to see our dad who had left home and was in hospital dying.. They had taken my mums side over the divorce and felt i was being dishonourable to her. I just wanted to say goodbye to him.
Since then i see them on high days and holidays, i no longer try to keep in touch and as a result we do not talk very often.
It is sad but i have lost too much sleep, shed too many tears and have been made to feel inadequate by them too often and i have as an adult decided enough is enough.
It is very sad that you and your sister have fallen out, but a relationship takes two and she needs to meet you half way. I hope you resolve it, i have always wanted a girlie close relationship with my sister but she never did with me and i have accepted that, took me 40 years to do so though!!
Take care and i hope it all resolves itself in the end.x

[ginger ninger]

I too don't have a great relationship with my sister, given what were going through at the moment with Dad, you'd have thought it would have brought us closer but it hasn't, some things run much deeper and no matter how much you try, its never going to work out. My sister is very controlling and bullied me all my life up to last February, years of being put down no matter what you say or try to do to keep the peace takes its toll, I eventually plucked up the courage and turned on her, it didn't go down well at all. At the moment we're civil because we have to be for Dads sake.
I think what I'm trying to say Jackie is, if you don't agree with your sister talk to her, tell her how whats happening is making you feel, but don't let it get out of hand. Good Luck, I hope you can work something out. xxxx

[jackie j]

Thanks all. I am the youngest of three girls brought up by my Mum on her own from the age of six after loosing Dad, eldest sister being five years older aged 11 at the time did a lot for us and I can honestly say we hardly ever fell out, my late sister on the other hand, were for ever falling out, even the night before my first wedding, she also fell out loads of time with my eldest sister. I have at the age of 55 realised that my sister has had control of me for all of my life, she likes to mould people to her ways, something she openly admits to. She says jump and everyone jumps.
I am afraid things have got worse between us and I cant at the moment see a way back, we have both said things through e mail, I cant bring my self to ring her and she hasnt rung me. I have felt left out for many years. My OH is no longer welcome in her house, but thats his problem he lashes out with words and becomes verbally abusive that doesnt help matters.
There are of course two sides to every story.