A lost Secret Santa parcel, "O my" said the little old lady looking at the home made chutneys, raspberry jam, and the pile of seeds, "What am I going to do with this lot?...
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"well " said the postie "the chutneys and jam you can eat. But the seeds look like odd ones to me . Perhaps you better just try planting them and see what grows" And with that the postie turned round three times, clicked his heels and vanished into thin air..S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber
You can't beat a bit of garden porn
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.... her screen goes dark, the webpage vansihes then two glowing purple eyes slowly appear, lazily blinking at her in an alien manner. Panicked, she ....Caro
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day
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She realises that she must do something to eliminate this creature - a creature not of this world, she is sure.
Tucking the laptop under her arm she goes to the shed and finds some duct tape. Firmly she winds it round and round the laptop until none of the silver surface shows. Then, grabbing a spade she walks to the end of the garden, the little dog trotting behind her, and begins to dig. The hole gets deeper and deeper until at last she is satisfied and throws the laptop in. A loud screaming, whistling noise is heard from the bottom of the hole, receding as she quickly shovels the earth back into it. After stamping firmly on the packed soil she sees the crumbling remains of the stone wall and drags pieces of it over the bare earth. The wailing has ceased. She turns to go back to the house.....
Sorry folks, got carried away!
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...to find that the seeds she received in her package that morning have already started to germinate.S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber
You can't beat a bit of garden porn
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...the purple slowly blinking eyes were back......"I prefer rogues to imbeciles as they sometimes take a rest" (Alexander Dumas)
"It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live" (also Alexandre Dumas)
Oxfordshire
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'Hmmm', she said to herself. 'What can this be? I've heard of a bean called Cherokee Trail of Tears - and certainly, I know what a trail of tears can involve - but these purple eyes inside purple flowers - that is weird.'
Mrs Darby sat in her rocking chair worrying and fretting over the new plants - even the dog had pressed himself against her leg, shivering slightly. She tried to be brave, after all, these new seeds were sent to her by someone who was supposed to be a friend - as a Secret Santa on the Twine, but right at this moment she was feeling none too certain about those purple blinking eyes.
'Well, dog, we'd better do something about this, hadn't we?...Whooops - now what are the dogs getting up to?
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Pressing him self harder against his beloved owners leg the dog looks up and sighs. "Well I don't know about you Gurty but I need a cup of tea with all this drama going on. Might get myself a doggy biscuit while I'm up; would you like a garibaldy with your tea?" and with that scratches the itch behind his ear and trots into the kitchen.
Outside something stirs and the purple eyes turn that way...
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In response the little purple eyes in the flowers began to glow. Russell, having found the biscuit he required, was coming in through the door. Suddenly, the biscuit forgotten, he started barking at the plants, backing away from them as he did.
The glow brightened and suddenly flashed a stream of light at the dog. Instinctively Mrs Darby covered her eyes; when she opened them again Russell was lying inert on the floor.
"Oh, no!" she cried, leaping out of her chair and wrapping the little chap in her arms. He was cold and rapidly turning purple. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
"I'll get them for this," she muttered. "Those seeds - they came from the moderators, I'm sure. They'll not get away with it!"Last edited by annacruachan; 25-01-2010, 10:19 AM.
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