Wrong words.

[enrich100]

Our House has a Wisteria growing on the front of the house, I love to wind up my OH by telling people in her hearing range that we have Listeria, its even worse in the back garden I call the Clematis Chlamydia I just waiting for me or OH to forget and ask at the garden centre if they have Chlamydia

[Hilary B]

Our family have a few traditional ones ('dressin' down' for wearing over pyjamas is one of them) but it's not a case of the wrong word by accident (although it probably started there) but it's a family game!
They don't get used as much any more, it was mainly Dad who used them.

[di]

I had some teeth pulled at the weekend and had to go back to the dentist yesterday so he could check they were doing OK....felt a bit of a p**t when I told him I was worried about getting dry rot.....I knew I meant dry socket!

[Bren In Pots]

I had to think really hard before saying skeleton otherwise its skellington that comes out instead.

[OllieMartin]

I'm sure some of you already know, but using the wrong word especially words which sound the same is called a Malapropism after Mrs Malaprop, a character in an eighteenth-century British comedy The Rivals by Richard Brinsley Sheridan. Her name comes from the French mal + proposer "badly for the purpose".

One of my friends was telling me once about how his parents were having a 'suspension' built onto their house!

[OllieMartin]

Oh and I renamed Bren's sausage casserole recipe today to a sauserole!

I love the contraction 'sauserole', I'm definately using that one!
You never know, in a couple of years time it could have found its way into the OED like JCB, Hoover and Delia did!

[Littlemouse]

Residents calling in to the council to complain that their 'refuge' hasn't been collected.

and our family name for a casserole is 'cows a*se'ole'