Feeling very sad

[SlugLobber]

So sorry, Fi. I do remember you posting about her. She was obviously very special. xxx

[kirsty b]

Fi, I don't know what to say love. Cancer is so cruel and robs us of wonderful people years earlier than they should go. Glad to hear it was peaceful.

(((((((((huge hug)))))))))) and love to you xx

[Headfry]

Hugs and much love from me to you, all friends and family
xx

[Hans Mum]

my thoughts are with you & your friends family

[annacruachan]

So sorry, Fi. Hard days for you I know, but such a friendship can only leave blessings in your heart and your life. Glad her passing was peaceful and dignified and that the hospice care was/is available to you all. (((hugs)))

[enrich100]

My thoughts are with you and your friends family

15 years ago next May I lost my mother to cancer at the age of 54, she lived 18 months longer than predicted in severe pain never giving into it, always hoping that something could be done but accepting that the chances were that a magic cure would never happen,

I was with my mother in hospital the day she the Doctors told she had Breast cancer and liver cancer and it was terminal , I was a wreck but my mum took it in her stride, it was so unfair my mother didn't smoke, drunk very occasionally, cooked healthy food, was alway outside with the garden or her animals. but I can't ever remember her ever saying "why me?"

She lived for her hobbies, her chickens mainly ex battery hens, pigmy goats from a friend who could not look after them any more, dogs from the rescue centre, you name it we probably had it. My first pet from her was a rabbit called Evil Edna, a pet shop reject, As it had bitten a new owner and was returned to be destroyed,

Ok she had a evil sence of humour, possibly where I get it from. She once give me a spoonful of cod liver oil pretending it was syrup, I have to admit it took me a couple of days to forgive her for that

Due to my health I was at home alot so I became my mothers carer during the days, we spoke of her beliefs, her wishes for her funeral. I would take her to the local lakes at Chew Valley and various other places she had taken my brother & myself as children.

Although i'm not religious my mother was and found great comfort from the church (not our local vicar but that another story) she would talk to me about what she thought her after life would be. she told me what arrangements she wanted at her funeral, she asked for the Eagles - Hotel California to be played at the church when the coffin entered the church, when she passed away we carried out her wishes.

Mum died in our local hospital. the staff were great to her and were great comfort to us. I was obviously very upset when she died as I loved her dearly but there was also relief, relief that my mother was not in pain anymore, relief that the cancer could not cause anymore damage, relief that my father could begin the grieveing process, when someone in a family is diagnosed with a terminal illness it affects everyone, familiy and friends,
young and old. looking back I remember my father actually looked old for the first time in my life, the toll it takes on relatives is often is quite often taken for granted especally after the funeral.

My mother also requested a Wake after the funeral so that friends and family could remember the better times. In the couple hours of the Wake I probably cried and laughed more than I had since she had been diagnosed being told how much she was loved and all the stories every one remembered

Mum was cremated and her ashes were spread in our back paddock where she spent her time with her animals. We also planted a tree in her memory, the tree would be a living memorial to her

15 year on none of us have forgotten my mum
my dad had remarried and is happy again he hasn't forgotten mum but he has hopefully a long life to lead and needs to be with someone.

I don't remember the date she died, you might think it strange, but I want to celibrate my mums life not her death, I always have a quiet day on what was her birthday making sure I spend as much time as I can with my children. I try to go to the Lakes at Chew Valley and feed the birds just like my mum would do with us when we were children

I often play the Eagles at home yes it can bring a tear to my eye but usually it brings a smile to my face remembering the better times with my mother

She never got to meet any of her grandchildren which is upsetting, she always wanted to be a granny, not being the most subtle of people she would continuously ask when my brother or myself were going to settle down and have kids, she would even ask any girlfriends we took home.

I now have 3 children, 2 are step children from my partners previous relationship, when we had a third child we gave him the middle name Patrick in her memory (even I couldn't give him Patricia as middle name I'm cruel but not that cruel).

Your Friend has lost the battle to Cancer but she is no longer in pain, the cancer can't hurt her anymore. As you said she died with peace & dignity in the Hospice,

I know she would have taken comfort from your friendship and would want you to remember the happier times not the sad. Remember her for what she was and not the horrible desease that Cancer is

My thoughts are with you and her family

[Nicos]

Friends...real friends are hard to find.
I'm really sad for you that your closest friend has gone. Such a waste.

I've had a bit of a reality check over the past few days taking stock of all the kindness some of my friends have shown me with the hassle of the house move. So sad to think I've moved away from such reliable, kind friends and extended family. However- they are still there on the end of a phone. I should be proud to have them, and stop grieving their 'loss'.

Your friend is not really 'gone' - she'll be there in your thoughts, and I'm sure you'll have a bit of a natter with her from time to time...but it's not the same being unable to see her face light up when she sees you , or hear her voice clearly, or just go off for an hour or two or share your worries...my thoughts are with you Fi xx

Remember- if she was as wonderful as you say, then she too will have thought the same of you...and that's rather special, some people never manage to find that special 'Best Friend'. x

[FionaH]

Thank you yet again for all your care. Enrich, Nicos your posts are incredibly touching and I can't really express what I want to say, but thanks xx

Real life is catching up today, things to do and stuff........

[Polly Fouracre]

As bad as losing a sister, kind and loving thoughts to you.

[OllieMartin]

Just found this, hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

A butterfly flies beside us like a sunbeam.
For a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky just to have seen it.

[FionaH]

Ollie that is lovely and sums things up. There is now a date for the funeral. I have been asked to ring round mutual friends. Thats hard, but getting easier. Its good to hear peoples stories and how my friend touched peoples lives.

Just wish I would stop crying at odd times. Honestly I can feel perfectly fine then bang! I'm off.

[pipkins]

For you Fi