Need a laugh?

[bubblewrap]

lol,twas a good job he could see,and had a good memory

The state my friend sometimes gets in it was a wonder he didn't say no!

[SueA]

The exam answers in SlugLobber's original post are funny but also worrying, are they just dim or just taking the p...?!
Couldn't get into your link Bubblewrap, it 'declined' to show me, must be something I said!

[piskieinboots]

For SueA from bubblewrap's link - my two favourites:

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

[SlugLobber]

Sadly, they are not taking the P, Sue. I've been having terrible answers like this in the 6 years I've been marking. Don't even go there as regards to the spelling...

Don't worry, the mark schemes are standardised, so they won't get marks for stuff like this, no matter how amusing they might be (until as people above pointed out, these people are in charge of life-dependent processes). The number of students who can't work out a simple percentage is frightening me. It's definitely over 50%, probably nearer 70%. Yes, these are the ones of to 'study' at University in the Autumn. Hopefully nothing scientific...

[SueA]

At least some of them seem to have vivid imaginations SlugLobber, I just hope my life is never in their hands in the future!
Piskie- thanks for posting those - they tickled me too!

[jogette]

None of this surprises me. I am an invigilator at a school that is now an Academy and some of the exam answers I've read on this thread are seemingly more intelligent than the ones I see when collecting the papers. iyswim.

The level of education they have is frightening, I am often asked what certain words are because they don't know what they mean - the one in a recent exam that springs to mind is 'seek'

[Brengirl]

Thankyou so much for this thread. I too could not believe the students are actually at A level. The mind boggles.

[SlugLobber]

There's a new girl at work, privately educated at a very good school, who was actually defending them, saying that 'we were all a bit thick at that age'. I had to pick my jaw up from the floor before saying, 'Speak for yourself - I knew about seals at primary school, nevermind the age of 18'.

I'm worried about her, now, lol. Maybe she's a pseudoscientist!

[janeyo]

I am sure we covered those topics at gcse biology, not Alevel! No hope for some is twere, still the world will always need burger flippers.

[HayleyB]

Scary, oh so very scary...

[Brengirl]

Once again trying to spell check I have lost my post.........what I was saying is that I was educated during the war years and didn't start school until I was six. I wasn't very bright but passed the 11 plus and went to grammar school. I enjoyed my schooldays and the opportunities it gave me to excel on the sports field. When it came to academics I just passed my GCE. I tried to matriculate but couldn't make it. I admire today's teachers who because of bureaucracy have been denied the chance to channel talent. I also have great admiration for the students who get their education through betters whose hands are tied.

[Hilary B]

The link with the exam answers (4 seasons etc) had a second part about supposedly GCSE answers. I worry nearly as much about the person who commented on it, suggesting that since there were no howlers about genetic engineering, it must pre-date GCSE.... I think this person may not realise how long the GCSE has been in existence (the comments may indeed be older, and probably are, but that is not a reason for thinking so)! Why would there have been any reason to mention genetic engineering in the early days of GCSE?