children and treat-giving

[jackie j]

Another grandma here who likes to treat grandson as well as great nieces, but I always ask first if they are allowed and then only something small, easter if I give, its usually money or easter toy ( chick, bunny cuddly toy ) my daughter now gets asked if she would like an egg or money by her grandma, she usually says money but gets both anyway.
I like the tin egg though. I have said this before, when girls are born we buy a charm bracelet then each birthday till 21yrs we buy a charm. You could do this at easter too. Its hard to know what to buy boys though.

[janeyo]

I am pleased to know that it isn't just my rellies then!

I am SO looking forwad to being a granny and plying them all with sweets Just because I will be their Gran and that's what grans do!

I like the egg trinket ide, will defo pass that on... and the keeping the sweets in the cupboard works brilliantly, until a certina mummy gets her sweet tooth head on and they all get eaten! I'd rather they had less but better quality ones and only once in a while, or we all get fat!

I just think they are a waste of money really for something that gets devoured often without thought or hunger involved. And my childen aren't greedy, they will put half a packet of sweets down and say I'll save some for later which is brilliant, and not wolf them down and make themselves sick. Luckily OH sings from the same hymn sheet so that means we aren't arguing about what the children can and can't have.

[HeyWayne]

Oh, I forgot - I can't eat those soggy biscuits with the 6 blobs of marshmallow on with the strip of jam down the middle. For the same reasons outlined above.

[chris]

:P My turn! You liked the smell of the wash room there? Dirty nickers! pwooooar!

I don't want out baby having any chocolate/sweets really, and at the very LEAST until she can say them. Though, I may extend that to asking for them, in 4 different languages. I think most of our family know this, which is good as we eat v.healthily, and intend to pass this onto our daughter (who coincidently is just weaning now - baby led, and it's great watching her eat decent food, rather than pureed stuff from a jar!). Start as you mean to go on!

[Two_Sheds]

A small amount of sweets is fine, but OH's parents give Little One 2 or 3 dishes of ice-cream at 11am, so then she won't eat her lunch and she's hyper all afternoon.

We have a sweetie box for her, but they are for after she's eaten all her meal. She knows the rules and is happy with them, but when offered "all you can eat" ice-cream by nanny, she gorges herself

[Patchninja]

I have 2 small grandsons. I think it's time to get VERY firm about this. You are their mum and must decide what you want from grandparents. They might get the hump for a bit but not for long. My daughter si great as she tells me exactly what I can and can't do. Makes life so much easier all round.

[Hans Mum]

when my DD was little, my mum used to buy her a magazine or those cards that kids collect rather than sweets & as she got older bits of stuff from Claires or similar places, not to say she didnt have the odd sweets but few & far between, i do think its easier to buy inexpensive stuff (non sweety) for girls though

[organic]

when my DD was little, my mum used to buy her a magazine or those cards that kids collect rather than sweets & as she got older bits of stuff from Claires or similar places, not to say she didnt have the odd sweets but few & far between, i do think its easier to buy inexpensive stuff (non sweety) for girls though

Very true. The things for girls have always been the same as far as I can tell... the things for boys have all become very much non-PC and likely to land them (and you) in a lot of hot water.
Catapults, knives, air rifles, air pistols, fireworks, bow and arrows or ammo for the above (where appropriate).

Shame really - I've got cracking memories of using all the above and being under the grave and serious warning that if I ever aimed them at a person, loaded or unloaded, I'd lose them for good. Being 29 now I know I was lucky to catch the tail end of the more sensible times (and my brother, 10 years my junior was incredibly lucky to have similar, if slightly less freedom - he never had a pocket knife until recently, for example)

I do wonder how I'll be able to give my kids (when I have some) the same gifts, pleasures, warnings and so on without them getting locked up.

This weekend I was very sad to hear a conversation between two kids in a garden centre. The young one picked up a patio weeding knife:
Young: "What's this for?"
Old: "You could murder someone with that."
Dad: "PUT THAT DOWN!!!"
Mum: didn't say anything but got all frantic.

It upset me so much I decided to intrude and explain what it was and what it was for. The parents were so busy trying to avoid a stabbing (like that'd happen if they weren't so neurotic about an inanimate object and actually taught "proper use") they made the tool seem dangerous - which we all know is VERY desirable to young lads - my explanation made it seem positively dull and actually useful. Their understanding grew as their interest fell - what young lad wants to weed a patio?

Anyway - I agree that it's difficult to buy for young lads, especially as they are meant to act less and less "to type" these days.

[Alison]

This has always gone on to some extent - we weren't allowed much chocolate or sweets and my parents made this clear to grandparents. We didn't see one set very often, only really in school holidays so that wasn't really a problem, but my other nan regularly baby sat and looked after us on her own. Whenever she came, as soon as mum and dad had gone out she'd bring a load of chocolate out of her bag (and it was one of those old fashioned old lady bags that would hold a battle ship!), let us eat it all and then put the wrappers back in her bag to hide the evidence. I don't remember her ever telling us not to tell mum and dad but we never did and it was our little secret. In the long run it didn't really do us any harm but isn't really ideal. Whatever you do though, don't make sweets / chocolate a major issue for your kids otherwise you are potentially storing up food issues for the future.

[marathon]

My parents do this and a few Uncles

Myself and the OH always try to to get to the sweets first and then put them in the cupboard to dish out over a much longer period than a weekend.

One thing that gets me more than the quantity of sweets is that they are rubbish sweets, if you know what I mean. They seem to be big bags of horrible looking sweets loaded with a large number of E numbers

[organic]

Whatever you do though, don't make sweets / chocolate a major issue for your kids otherwise you are potentially storing up food issues for the future.

Seconded!
It's true of anything too. A young (distant) relative of mine has never been allowed a toy gun. His mother always made a big deal of it and now, still very young, he's absolutely obsessed with the things. Thankfully his grandad (sadly no longer with us) used to make them out of the cardboard tubes his wife's medical tubing arrived in (they had shotguns, pistols, machine guns, the lot) and play with him which took the edge off a bit but he's still a bit nuts about it all.

Really not good to make a big deal - hence why I think it's better for it to be a non-issue and have the focus positively on something else rather than negatively against sweets.


Marathon - those things always put me off. In that case, maybe better to find some "nice" sweets - bearing in mind that the tasty looking ones in the supermarket "Whole Foods" section are almost always laden with E numbers too (figure that one out!) - and suggest they move over to them instead.

[di]

MIL gave mine a huge bag of extra chewy drumstick type sweeties several weeks before Christmas... popped them in my 'present wardrobe' and saved them to pop into party bags when they had their little Christmas party

As long as it's not daily,I really don't mind mine having sweets...I prefer it to be chocolate and not chewy sweets that coat their teeth for hours after though......they seem to be pretty good at knowing when they've had enough.(DD had a school disco last week and didn't know how many was too many,the fact we had to leave half an hour early because she felt sick has put her off over indulging again anytime soon)

I think it's one of those things that if you say an outright 'No' then they're going to end up wanting them more,but at the same time being sensible about when they get them...ie not just before dinner.
(Easter brekkie in our house usually consists of chocolate)

[shoreham_steve]

I could go on at length about this one !! My MiL comes round, produces sweets, saying 'Look what Nanny has got, aren't you lucky, you'll love these...' building up sweets as being the best thing they'll ever have to eat. Drives me nuts!!
We 'talk up' grapes and strawberries but once they've got their teeth around a cream egg then we're fighting a losing battle.
We've told her about it numerous times but she just doesn't get it. Last week she produced sweets from her handbag, did the 'Look what I've got....' routine, then, half remembering our requests, snatched them back and asked if they'd had their dinner yet. She was told 'No' so she put them back in her bag. This sparked the tantrums from hell !! Unsurprisingly!
She means well but.........

[ginger ninger]

OH's sister-in-law has fallen out with his Mum over this very subject, she prefers her lad (he's10) to have fruit, raw carrot basically healthy food, but OH's mum gives him those bright coloured drinks in cartons, fizzy pop and lots of sweets by the bucket load, he has A.D.H.D and his Dr told OH's sister-in-law that very sugary things should be avoided but not cut out all together, so she likes to monitor what sweets he has, which I can understand but OH's mum says is tosh and carries on regardless. When he visits us he can have what ever he wants out of the fruit bowl, on the understanding that he eats what ever he gets and dosn't waste anything, and he's great about it.

[Incy]

I had a similar problem with my MiL. Every time we went to visit she had biscuits and sweets there for him to eat, which I am ok with but she would then present him with a carrier bag full of chocolate and biscuits to take home. I'm talking in the range of 2 chocolate oranges 3 packets of jammy dodgers a couple of packets of jaffa cakes etc.
I ended up talling her very politely that she had to reduce the volumes as he has extremely sensitive teeth. She has tried, although I still think there is too much but at least it's not in the same league as before. In honesty I did explain that if she couldn't/wouldn't cut back I'd have to reduce the visits.
Thankfully my parents have never been prone to this although as we don't see them often (they live too far away) it wouldn't be huge problem anyway.