Scary ...kids cost lots !

[jackie j]

My daughter aged nearly 14 gets £20 a month top up ( free texts and internet ) £20 a month pocket money £3 a week for rowing class through the winter ( only 2 more to go ) plus extra's as and when needed, or treats. She does buy a lot of her own clothes if she really wants something.
I forgot the dinner money at the moment she is taking lunch with her but when she is on dinner's its about £20 a fortnight. She is going skin ing with the school next February at a cost of £850. My sons never had what she gets and I feel guilty but thats cos their dad was mean and I couldnt afford it. I try and make it up to them now by giving them something extra when I can.

[Brengirl]

Generally speaking our family could never afford to send anyone to uni. The eldest granddaughter did go to Bristol for 2 years before being involved in an RTA which made her change course. In her two years there she had to work in the uni bar at night to supplement her income. Not a good thing when you are there to study!! Her sisters (also academic) learned from her experience and decided to do 'apprenticeships' locally. I do know that sometimes they feel "if only" but at least today they are solvent. The younger is now at Weymouth College and is always financially strapped. I help a little by financing her phone £20 a month but she is well aware that this will not go on indefinitely.

[Alison]

exactly !!!! her school meals are 15 a week and i top her phone up 5, then she gets 20 a week pocket money, ( which she does jobs to earn ) it soon adds up !

£20 a week pocket money!!!!!!! What does she have to buy with that, if she has to buy her own clothes then fair enough but otherwise it seems very over generous

[northepaul]

Blimey!!
My eldest two used to get £1 a week from roughly 8-9 and then when they were old enough for a Saturday job,(or paper round) they just kept that. They had chores but that was just being part of the family. If they wanted a phone they paid for it out of their Saturday job money...

When my son comes home from uni in the summer he pays towards his keep out of his summer job, we cant afford to keep him, and I dont think it does them any harm to learn the value of money.
My 6 year old doesnt get pocket money and wont get anything like £20-30 a week when she does!!

[Alison]

I dont think it does them any harm to learn the value of money.

That's very important, I have friends who's children are just bought everything they want (not even need) and have no idea of the value of money. One set in particular don't look after anything as it has not worth and mum and dad just replace it for them if they break it anyway. Is VERY hard not to say anything...........

[jackie j]

From a very early age we gave our daughter a small amount of money to buy what she wanted, she would ask how much is it, then ask how much change she would have, think about it then say no I dont think I will spend it today. It always made us laugh but proud also that she could work it out that if she spent her money she wouldnt have much left, I'm glad to say she is still like it now aged 13, trouble is she is very genorous to her friends and always spends far too much on their birthday presents.

[rustylady]

At 15 all my children had after-school or weekend jobs (or paper rounds), and household chores were considered being part of the family. No extra pay. Even allowing for inflation £20 per week pocket money seems excessive.

[bobleponge]

If you think she's worth it, and you can afford it, then its your business how much you give her.
If I could have, my kids would have had all that they wanted, but I could never afford to.
I dont actually think, from speaking to friends with kids, that 20 quid a week is excessive these days.

[Seahorse]

As others have said, a) it's not really our business! and b) it depends what the £20 is for. I got £40 a month pocket money at about that age ( *cough* 'some' years ago *cough*) but out of that I had to buy all my own clothes and toiletries etc. I'm sure that taught me the value of money much better than if my Mum had just bought me everything and given me a bit of 'treat' money.

[SarzWix]

I'm sure it must make a difference that there's only one - if I gave my 3 that much pocket money + phone top-up + dinner money, we'd be starving and freezing!

In fact, ours get no pocket money from us. They get some from my dad every month paid into a bank account, and if they want to spend any of it they have to ask him to get it out for them. Which is great because they have to think about whether they really want things or not, and, they're going have a lump sum to do something great with when they're old enough - #1 son is thinking about getting a scooter when he turns 16

[jackie j]

Thats why I feel guilty that my daughter gets more than her brothers did but with four of them and on my own I couldnt give them pocket money. If I have got it she cant have it and she knows that. I am trying to help my sons out now they are older, they all got a lump son at the age of 21 as my daughter will. I paid into an insurance and treated it as a bill ,if I had tried to put the money in a bank it would never have got there and they wouldnt have had anything. I also treat my grandson, esp when he goes on holiday I give him some money.
It all comes down to what each and everyone of us can
a. afford
b. how we were brought up.
c. what the child is expected to buy from their own money.
We will never agree on what is right every one's circumstances are different.
We all do what we can for our children but we all love them the same and they us, no matter what. As a child I didnt have pocket money but always got the lattest comic, sweets books etc. I knew mum couldnt give us things, I had second hand clothes most of the time.
Some people buy thir childrens love, or think they do. ( not aimed at anyone )
This will always be the same, some of us have more, some of us dont have much but we are all rich in love.

[Alison]

Some people buy thir childrens love, or think they do. ( not aimed at anyone )
This will always be the same, some of us have more, some of us dont have much but we are all rich in love.

Your comment about buying love reminded me of a guy one of my friends was going out with a few years ago. He had children from a previous marriage which in theory he loved and cared for even though they lived with his ex. One time he totally forgot his son's birthday (think he was about 12 at the time) and when his other son phoned up to speak to his dad and reminded him he shoved £200 in an envelope and made a real deal over it telling everybody how generous he was. Yeah, very generous in monetory terms but not remotely generous in thought or love

Totally irrelvant to the OP's thread but I was just reminded of it..........

[northepaul]

If you think she's worth it, and you can afford it, then its your business how much you give her.

oops!
I would just like to say that I meant no offence to anyone with any of my comments, and absolutely its your business what you do and how you raise your kids.

[bobleponge]

oops!
I would just like to say that I meant no offence to anyone with any of my comments, and absolutely its your business what you do and how you raise your kids.

Absolutely none taken by me, was merely giving my tuppenceworth, as everyone else.

[louisesgarden]

Could you be my mum please?

you wouldnt want me !!! according to my daughter ! am awful !!!!