YouTube stupidity

[Liza]

Jeanied

They were just mucking about at play time, not seriously fighting. I think teenage boys need to let off a little steam.

He goes to an all boys school loads of hormones to burn off ? As we only have two secondary schools in the area one all boys and one all girls.

The boys are not even allowed to take their blazers off in class even in the middle of summer !

Maybe I am wrong I do appreciate your opinion though.

[Jeanied]

Indeed, boys do need to let off steam and I have to agree about the hormones part! However there are better ways of doing it and the boys need to learn that - play fights all too frequently turn into something much more serious.
I hope the school is able to dish out the punishment with a certain amount of empathy and understanding so the boys don't feel hard done by. All-boy schools have a particular challenge as they all seem to go through that 'Kevin' stage simultaneously. However some of our best all boys schools have strict standards about dress, behaviour and academic approach. Talking to them in Year 11 you begin to find out that, with hindsight, they appreciate this and feel it has made them better people.
That is all a long way off for many Year 9's sadly!
Your job as Mum is to be on his side - support and challenge in fair measures! What does he want you to do about this incident? That would be a good place to start.

[organic]

Liza - on the detention front I suggest taking the view that my mother took when I got an unjust one.

I paraphrase clumsily:
"So you've got an unfair detention? I'm sure you've done things you should have got detention for and got away with so consider this detention a punishment for that."


As for play fighting - yea it's stupid but it's perfectly normal. I don't think there's anything wrong with it despite school rules to the contrary. As long as those involved all know and agree that's it's a play fight, all want in and that even if someone gets hurt nobody is going to throw their toys out of the pram I really don't see anything wrong with it.

That said - there's plenty in "real life" that'll land you in trouble with the authorities (school in this case, justice system in others) even though there's really nothing wrong with it - this could serve as a good lesson in the need to obey stupid rules/laws (or to make sure you don't get caught if you must break them).

[Liza]

Thank you Jeanied and Organic.

What you both say makes a lot of sense.

I have emailed the head of year with regards to the older boy who took the video, I have asked to have clarification on the schools policy, processes and punishment for dealing with this invasion of privacy and cyber bullying.(Thanks Jeanied)

Unfortunately, when they were messing about they didn't get caught at the time ! Just 4 months later via YT and a member of the public that has obviously got nothing better to do !

I will leave it at that !

[organic]

I'm not going to comment on the member of the public.

I might be inclined to ask the school to clarify where the line between good spirited horse-play and fighting lies and how they deal with it all. I might even ask them to explain why this instance of mucking about is being treated as if it was a violent act bringing shame on the school. Like I said though - I'm of a belligerent slant.

By the sounds of it they are treating kids at play in the way they'd treat a fight and that just seems daft.

[Two_Sheds]

... invasion of privacy and cyber bullying....via YT and a member of the public that has obviously got nothing better to do

although if it was your son being bullied and you could see video evidence you'd be glad of it

(just to be Devil's Avocado for a minute)

You should trust the school and their definition of "play fighting" ... because I fail to see it being you tube-worthy if it was tame stuff

[NewbieGardenerRow]

A slightly different viewpoint is that if the boys were in identifiable school uniform it doesn't exactly make the school look like a good, safe place to send your kids..... and other people watching it (no matter how sad they might be to feel the need to watch that kind of stuff) wouldn't know it was play fighting????
Obviously I haven't seen the video but my sons school and his previous one were all about setting an example and behaving yourself in school uniform.
That's not to say they did always behave but the school took a dim view if they were caught larking about in their uniforms and folks didn't seem to be backwards at coming forward if one of the kids did get into trouble out of school hours about as their uniform was very distinctive.
My son was videoed being 'happy slapped' and the school instantly confiscated the phone used and suspended the boys involved so I'm sure your sons school will deal with the amateur film maker in a pretty stern way....if they don't then you are more than justified in banging your fist on the headteachers desk.

[Liza]

I have seen the vidio, it shows four boys mucking about wrestling with each other and they are all giggling like a load of infants.


Well the head of year has reduced punishment to making the boys clean out the store cupboard.

Case closed