Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

for those who love (or hate) their puters....

Collapse

X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • for those who love (or hate) their puters....

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.







    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,




    'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

    In response to Bill ' s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

    2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.


    7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

    PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

    Imagination is everything, it is a preview of what is to become.

  • #2
    Priceless, LaineyLou!
    Whooops - now what are the dogs getting up to?

    Comment


    • #3
      Brill!!!
      "Nicos, Queen of Gooooogle" and... GYO's own Miss Marple

      Location....Normandy France

      Comment


      • #4
        Excellent !
        sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
        --------------------------------------------------------------------
        Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
        -------------------------------------------------------------------
        Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
        -----------------------------------------------------------
        KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............

        Comment


        • #5
          Smashing
          Current Executive Board Members at Ollietopia Inc:
          Snadger - Director of Poetry
          RedThorn - Chief Interrobang Officer
          Pumpkin Becki - Head of Dremel Multi-Tool Sales & Marketing and Management Support
          Jeanied - Olliecentric Eulogy Minister
          piskieinboots - Ambassador of 2-word Media Reviews

          WikiGardener a subsidiary of Ollietopia Inc.

          Comment


          • #6
            Awesome!
            http://vegblogs.co.uk/overthyme/

            Comment


            • #7
              Some of those 'predictions' are close to becoming true....
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

              Comment


              • #8
                And long may it be so

                Comment


                • #9
                  Cheers LL, I read this a while ago and have been looking for it again for ages.
                  Bob Leponge
                  Life's disappointments are so much harder to take if you don't know any swear words.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Number 25 is my favourite
                    PIA Customer Support Questionnaire


                    1. Describe your problem:


                    2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

                    3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

                    4. Problem Severity:

                    A. Minor__
                    B. Minor__
                    C. Minor__
                    D. Trivial__


                    5. Nature of the problem:


                    A. Locked Up__
                    B. Frozen__
                    C. Hung__
                    D. Strange Smell__

                    6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

                    7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

                    8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

                    9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

                    10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__

                    11. Did they make it even worse? Yes__

                    12. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

                    13. Are you sure you've read the manual? Maybe__ No__

                    14. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

                    15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

                    16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself.

                    17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

                    l8. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged in?

                    l9. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

                    20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00? Yes__ What's a VCR?__

                    21. Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'? Yes__ No__

                    22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem? Yes__ No__

                    23. Do you have any electronics products that DO work? Yes__ No__

                    24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes__ No__

                    25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes__ No__

                    26. Is the machine on fire? Yes__ Not Yet__

                    27. Can you do something else instead of bothering me? Yes__

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Very funny!!

                      Comment

                      Latest Topics

                      Collapse

                      Recent Blog Posts

                      Collapse
                      Working...
                      X