Signed off sick and compassionate leave

[tiachica]

Right,

I have arranged to go on a 1week compassionate leave to see my mum, who broke her leg, and my granny, who had a stroke, next week. However, I have had horrible backpain and headaches, after being off 3 days last week (Wed-Fri) with Tonsilitis and Bronchitis. So I went back to the doctor today and she has signed me off work for a week.

I don't know what is the right way of dealing with this now. I am absolutely shattered and am so grateful for the rest. My boss, understandably, is p*&%ed off. She said: "So this week you will be ill and next week on compassionate leave?" I was tempted to say, that I am ill. Instead I just asked: "So I can take the compassionate leave next week?" she just replied: "It's up to you."

I don't want to do anything wrong. This is the first time ever I got a medical sick note in my adult life. My boss asked me if I was gonna come in on Friday before I am off on sick leave. I said I don't know, deends on how I feel.
Also, I am worried they will question my sick leave. Like, how come she was able to fly to see her mother on Sunday, but had a written sick notice till Monday?

I am sorry, if all this sounds confused, but any advice is appreciated.
Thank you.

[Jeanied]

You can't have both kinds of leave at the same time, Tiachia. It sounds like the position you are in currently is that you are too sick to take your compassionate leave. So at the moment you should focus on getting better. The reasons for you being granted compassionate leave remain the same. Therefore you should take it when you are well enough. Your manager sounds like their reactions were out of order on this one, so try not to take it to heart: they are not supposed to treat you this way. You need to be well enough to return to work before you take your compassionate leave. I hope this helps.

[SueA]

Sorry you're having a bad time of it all round by the sounds of it. As you've got a sick note then I can't see any problem, if you're not being paid for the compassionate leave then I can't see what they have to complain about either. If you're being paid for the leave next week & it is going to leave your boss shorthanded maybe you could offer to take it as holiday instead? I don't see why you shouldn't take the time off though, you can't help being ill & the worry about your family can't be helping, try & explain to your boss although she doesn't sound the sympathetic type! Take it easy & get well soon.

[jackie j]

Sorry to hear you are not well, probably because of the stress you are under. You must take the time off sick to get better, if you go back too soon you will end up worse off. Maybe the doctor will sign you off again if you are no better. They cant stop you taking compasionate leave. My understanding is you are entilted to take this time off but dont take it as holiday. Just unfortunate that you are ill as well.

[vicky]

Poor you - No advice to offer but lots of sympathy.
Try not to let your boss get you down, she sounds like she needs a holiday!

[teakdesk]

Since compassionate leave is discretionary and given by the employer to cover events that are happening now I, as an employer, would not automatically "roll-on" the compassionate leave.

I would expect my employees to re-apply for compassionate leave and if the reasons it was granted for this week were still valid next week I would grant it again.

If you get a sick note (or start a period of illness) during a normal holiday then you can inform your employer and the holiday will be transferred to sickness and you can take the missed holiday later.

However, compassionate leave is different... I give compassionate leave for people to attend things such as funerals; if they are ill when the funeral takes place then they do not get the compassionate leave the following week when the funeral is long-finished, hence the need to re-apply if there is still a need for compassionate leave.

PS - compassionate leave to me is paid leave - ie I pay my employees even though they miss work; "unpaid holiday" or "leave without pay" is what I call the other sort!!

[tiachica]

Thank you all for your advice.

I am trying to go back to work tomorrow and catch up on everything that has been lying on my desk this week.

I have my flights booked to leave next week to see my mum and granny. It's not like I can reschedule my trip. My compassionate leave would consist of 3 days paid, and 2 days unpaid, unless something changed while I was off ill.

What I am really worried about is that my employer questions me being off sick these few days if I return early or attempt to fly back home.
Honestly, I do not want to take advantage. I have spent the last 2 days in bed and slept and I do feel much better, but I am actually scared how this has affected me. But I need to see my family. My poor mum can't even go to the bathroom on her own and she will not have anybody to look after her if I am not there next week. And my grandma could die any day, without me having had a chance to speak to her.

It's just a bit too much. I am dreading leaving my men alone at home (DH & 2 year old).

[lindyloo]

i think your boss was a little unreasonable, as your circumstances are beyond your control. look on the bright side, when you get back, she will be very glad to see you!

[Patchninja]

Does she really understand how dire your situation is? I feel for you!

[Florence Fennel]

Stop worrying about this Patchninja. If your doctor has given you a certificate saying you are not fit to work until a certain date, you are covered for that period of time. You must take your compassionate leave and sort out your mum and see your grandma and don't feel guilty about it, you have done nothing wrong.

[Bigmallly]

Hope this helps, I think you need to be looking at asking for "Carers Leave" as opposed to compassionate leave. It will most likely be at the employers discretion but you can request 5 days in a 12 month period.

UCL Human Resources - Leave for Domestic and Personal reasons

[tiachica]

Thank you all!

back at work today. Boss been ok. I am coping ok with my back.
I'll travel to see my mum and granny this sunday. Will have 3 days paid and 2 days unpaid.

[Florence Fennel]

I hope you're soon feeling better Tiachica and that your trip brings comfort to your mum and your granny.