When you've had it all

[Brengirl]

I have reached the time in my life when I know I can acheive no more. My kids are grown and have families of their own but every moment of my life I feel there must be something more. I am beginning to stagnate - is it the end of the road. How do I summons initiative to try something new? My OH seems content with the status quo and I would feel guilty if I were to let him know how I feel.

[Flummery]

There's always something more. When I retired I decided I was going to do some vegetable breeding. All it takes is time - I have that now. I am free to be part of the village's Yorkshire in Bloom team - I was out today buying and planting up some half barrels with a couple of the younger members of the team. I didn't get my allotment or my chickens till fairly recently. There's always a challenge. What have you always wanted to do but never got round to it? Now's the time.

[Glutton4...]

Havin' a bad day Hon?

[DarkCrow]

I have reached the time in my life when I know I can acheive no more. My kids are grown and have families of their own but every moment of my life I feel there must be something more. I am beginning to stagnate - is it the end of the road. How do I summons initiative to try something new? My OH seems content with the status quo and I would feel guilty if I were to let him know how I feel.

There is something more, it's called "your time" remember before kids? all the things you wanted to do? nows the time!!!! go mad do the things you could have only dreamed of before, far be it from me to give advice but iv'e seen my Female peers fly (theoretically) since Kids have flown, OH.s will always be content with "status Quo" thats the way we like it! but that would have been the same before family.. Now's your time and it's time for you!!..And of course time for for grandmum.. you can hand them back!!

[miffy]

My mum got her second wind when she retired she has never been so busy. She is part of a history club, looking into both local and our family history. She gardens, goes to the ballet in Brum with her best buddy. She meets friends for lunch once a week, gardens regularly and baby sits too. She is on her own and does get lonely sometimes but she gets up out of her chair and goes and sees a friend.
I know the feeling too of thinking is this it? You need to go out and grab new experiences, if you don't you will get really down and that is not good for you at all.
Have you always wanted to learn something? Could you enroll at night school or a day class if you are retired, meet new folk, Tai Chi is good for your health and stimulates your mind.
Don't get down you still have so many things you could/can do. We only come this way once and need to make the most of it, why don't you suggest to OH that you get your glad rags on and go out this weekend it would make your dinner more of an occassion and you could get your hair done and get a new frock?
Hope you feel better soon. :-)

[Brengirl]

Havin' a bad day Hon?

am I allowed to have a little whinge...I still have so much energy that my dearly beloved OH feels left out. He looks after me hand and foot but I know he is just waiting for me to stand still for a moment.

[bramble]

Well since me and my hubby became "senior citizens" and got our free travel passes we take off on the train anytime we get fed up in the house or feel the need to do something different.
We have travelled the length and breath of the country on the trains. We do day trips and special offer weekends. never any time to get bored.
We do gardening, play pitch and putt, have days out with our grandchildren (when we feel like it, not the parents). We do babysit and let the parents have their time out too.
I am so enjoying being a granny and enjoy my time with the grand kids so much.
We go out for meals with family and friends.Myself and my female friends do line dancing every week and its great fun and good exercise.
I could go on. There's not enough hours in the day for all the things I want to do.
Maybe you're just hitting a bad patch but don't let it get on top of you because there's always something just around the corner.

[Brengirl]

You are all so sweet with your encouragement. Only wish my OH would read it. But, on the other hand, (scuse the language) but sod him, it's my life too. Yippee!!

I am still not sure if he will like it

[Glutton4...]

am I allowed to have a little whinge...I still have so much energy that my dearly beloved OH feels left out. He looks after me hand and foot but I know he is just waiting for me to stand still for a moment.

Sounds like me and Mr. G. and we're still in our forties!

You are all so sweet with your encouragement. Only wish my OH would read it. But, on the other hand, (scuse the language) but sod him, it's my life too. Yippee!!

I am still not sure if he will like it

He'll get used to it. In fact, once you've got off your arris and started doing something, he'll probably do the same, or similar. He'll eventually get bored with staring at the telly, and having no one to talk to.

[taff]

I have reached the time in my life when I know I can acheive no more.
I am beginning to stagnate - is it the end of the road.
How do I summons initiative to try something new?

In order
Yes you can
no it isn't
once you find something you want to do you wont need to find the intiative
;0

what have you put off doing before? what do you do now that you like that you can do more of? The beauty of being older is that things like courses etc are usually cheaper or free, so you can pretty much decide to do anything you like.

[Jardiniere]

move to another country where you have to learn the language and totally clear a garden and renovate a house ....

[its hilly]

Bren it sounds like you are suffering a dose of empty nest syndrome.
Don't feel guilty if you are more active/enthusiastic than OH. Just find something lazy but fun to do together to reassure him that you are still thinking of him..then get out there the rest of the time and do whatever you feel like.
Or take him off to learn salsa or tango and put some fire back in him

[Two_Sheds]

I have an OH who shares none of my interests either, so I go off and do them without him. If he does come along, he does nothing but moan and whinge anyway. He prefers to be sat on his backside in front of the sport. A rare exception was y'day when we went birdwatching at a nature reserve, we both had a thoroughly nice day.

[piskieinboots]

am I allowed to have a little whinge...

Totally

At odd times I get, what I can only describe as, depression - no idea why, I have nothing that should make me feel that way, but I guess 'life' puts things in our way from time to time

[Nicos]

move to another country where you have to learn the language and totally clear a garden and renovate a house ....

Ha!....my thoughts exactly!!

Bren- very few couples have the same interests and energy levels.
He clearly dotes on you- and you should be excepionally grateful that he does.
Make the most of your time together...I would utterly LOVE for my OH to be around all day...no matter what he did- I'm usually on my own for 12 hrs a day and no matter who I hang around with, their company is never quite as fulfilling as the tme I spend with my OH. ( yes sweetie- if you are reading this..I DO love you that much!)

It's all about loving the other person enough to want to make them happy- and it works both ways.
Sounds like you need to TALK...and LISTEN..and then come up with a workable PLAN to please BOTH OF YOU!!!!!

maybe writing your own 'wish' lists is the way to start!