At what age do you let your chidren

[jackie j]

Following on with the new's that a couple have been spoken to about letting children Aged 5 and 8 cycle to school. Do you allow yours and if so what age.

I walked all of my children to school as usually I had younger ones to take. Mine were allowed to walk ahead of me as long as they could see me, if not they had to wait. My third son was allowed to take his younger brother to primary as it was on his way to senior school.
I know we did it but things have changed.

A . Its too young to let either be out on their own, would you leave them in the house alone..... no.

B. Its not the older childs responsibilty to look after a child even if its a sibling or a friend. What if something happened to the younger child, the older one would live with the thought that it was their fault for the rest of their lives. I am all for letting children play outside but there has to be restrictions as to how far they are allowed to go. Any thing can happen even on your doorstep.

[ginger ninger]

This very discussion has just been on "Loose woman".

Going back 38 years to when my sister was 13 and I was 8. I can remember one of her best friends going missing on the way back to school, she normally walked back over what was locally known as "The Hilly Fields" "with my sister and one of the boy's in there class, but my sister wasn't at school that day and for some reason he had to stay at school for his dinner.

She never made it back to school...she was abducted and murdered. None knew until she never came home at 3.30, in those day's teacher's didn't phone to see why children hadn't gone back to school in the afternoon, they waited while the following day to see if your Mum or Dad had written a note to explain where you were. It still upset's my sister and me even to this day.
The man that murdered her is STILL in prison because of the severity of what he did to her, I see her mum now and again and she always speaks but she has that terrible haunted look to her even to this day.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is children of all age's are at risk and if you can take your child to school...take them.

[di]

Tough one...and not sure there's really a right or wrong answer(although I do think 5 and 8 is a little young)
For me my two are always in my sight when out,they're allowed to run/scoot or bike ahead but they know the rule is to always stay where I can see them.(they're 6 and 8)
The stranger danger does play a part in my reasoning but also I'd hate to think of one of them falling off their bike or something and I'm sat at home oblivious.
That said,I have friends who's children are a similar age and they are allowed to play out the front unsupervised and others that let their children walk the short journey to school on their own....they weighed up the risks in their minds and decided they feel safe/happy with their decision and actually believe that the independance is a great thing for their kiddies and therefore outweighs the risks.

[swansea girl]

I think it depends on the child,how far they have to walk and many other factors.

I let my son walk to school on his own at 9,there is a car park and a road with a lolly pop man on between our house and the school,he didn't have any roads to cross,there were plenty of people around and he was/is sensible...although I was called to the school by his teacher 6 months after he had started walking to and from school on his own,she told me he was too young and I told her that I didn't think so,she sent me (yes sent!) me to the headmaster who agreed with me that he was safe and sensible enough to walk.

He has been able to play out since he was 9 too but we live on a small estate which has no traffic through it,and he knows everybody that lives here (I grew up on this estate too) so he always had somewhere to go to quickly if anything happened,now he is 11 I have given him an old mobile phone to keep in contact when he is out and he is allowed to go further to play.

[Alison]

Sounds a bit young to me but then again we don't know all the details or the kids concerned. Whilst I have concerns here I also have concerns for all those millions of cotton wool kids who's parents won't give them the chance to grow up and become independant in case something awful happens. Unfortunatley there are bad people out there and something might happen but it probably won't and if you bring your child up to be intelligent and responsible then the chances are further reduced and they'll have the chance to live a full and interesting life and not one of paranoia and fear.

[northepaul]

All my children had to hold my hand - my seven year old holds my hand on the way home (we walk) I have never allowed any of mine to run off ahead - I dont trust traffic or drivers for one thing.
When my eldest went to secondary school she went by herself - she didnt want her mum hanging round making her look uncool - and logistically I had to take two kids in completely different directions, which was impossible. When my son went to secondary, he always cycled.
I'll make sure my seven year old always has someone to take her to school, until secondary, then she'll have to go alone, as its a train journey.

[jackie j]

I would rather know they had arrived at school safley than worry that maybe they hadnt. I have had children run away from school and it was frighening ( teenager ). The police came and took details, luckily he had decided to walk to his nans a few miles away as I wasnt in. Something had happened at school and they didnt notice he had gone. This happened with him a few times and I would find him on the doorstep, the school started ringing me everytime he did this so we knew he had gone. This was before I had a mobile phone or him to that matter.
While I dont want children to be wrapped in cotton wool, there is a need to make sure your child is safe, with that knowledge you can carry on as normal.
Like I said you wouldnt leave them in the house.... or would you.
Right now my 14 year old daughter hasnt come home from school, she told me this morning she would more than likely meet up with friends from other schools, I trust that she is safe because I trust her. She will contact me if need be and if not I will ring her just to put my mind at rest. But then she is old enough to be on her own and trustworthy not to get into trouble.

[its hilly]

Times do change, and some kids are wise at 8 and others are still dozy and untrustworthy at 15. I caught the bus on my own from around 8 or 9 I think. But we lived in the country, the bus stop was just down the road in a straight line from our house and there were several of us of varying ages who went from that stop, so we were always in sight of each other. Especially as one girl lived just behind the stop.

[lindyloo]

i think it is too young, especially in this day and age- without being paranoid, just too many dangers out there. my children were either walked or driven to school up to about age 12-13.

[piskieinboots]

'especially in this day and age'
'too many dangers now'
'I need to be able to see them'
'something terrible might happen to them'

...surely those dangers have always been there?

What has changed is the way the media throw it at us and the fear of fear has to be the worst thing a very loving, caring parent can give a child.

It nearly happened to me, so I'm told, I was a wee toddler of approx 3 or 4 I think, I was playing outside our house, my Dad happened to look out of the window at the time when I was walking off with a (stranger) man holding my hand. Dad flung open the window, yelled at the top of his voice and leaped out of the window and the started to make chase - man ran off, Piskie was thinking 'what the heck is the problem with me having a couple of sweets'.

That was 50 years ago - so it's always been there.

By the way, thanks Dad for looking out of the window when you did

[Two_Sheds]

Regardless of the age of the child, this is my tuppenceworth:

- children should be taught good road sense
- children should be taught 'stranger danger'
- travel to school is dangerous because of the school run traffic: parents parking on school zig-zags, verges etc.
- the roads are very much quieter (& safer) during the school holidays!
- parents often use the "dangerous traffic" argument against walking/cycling simply because they can't be bothered to walk/cycle themselves (we have parents in our road who drive to the next road & back for the school run)
- I'd rather my children got to school independently than be driven everywhere, and I wouldn't want them growing up believing that walking & cycling is dangerous

[jackie j]

I dont think its a case of walking and cycling is dangerous, supervised yes, unsupervised no especially at such a young age. I nearly alway's walked all of my children to primary school, a couple of busy roads to cross but nothing too busy. We all need to keep our children safe from whatever is out there. I am not paranoid about it, it is my duty as a parent and a grandparent. My children always went out to play, when on the beach they went to play with friends. I have had the panic that rises when you cant see your child on the beach and at the zoo. I myself went missing when about 18 months, we were on a sunday school outing at the beach, mum thought I was with dad, dad thought I was with mum. I was found curled up asleep in the deckchair attendants hut at the other end to where they were.
Yes things happen right outside your house, and yes some children are more aware of their surroundings. Perhaps if more parents took proper care of their children we wouldnt have the louts that we have today.

[pdblake]

Our eldest two, 14 and 12, go to school by themselves, the younger on bike, but our youngest, 5, has about the same amount of sense and danger awareness as a housebrick. He gets walked to and from school and will until he's in the last year of primary, just like his sisters were.

The girls go out on their own, often into town and even take their brother to the park occassionally. They have to have the freedom to play and develop and make friends. The youngest plays in the garden most of the time though, unless he's out with us, or on the green out front and in sight.

[piskieinboots]

Here's a shocker for you - Snowdrop tells me he took himself to school on the very first day, he was quite insistent Mil tells me and she was confident that he knew the way and it wasn't far.

MiL is a doting, caring, loving mother who wanted her two lads to be independent - Snowdrop is just that.

Whether she would do it today is a different matter - but back then she was as sure as she could be that he would be fine.

In fact, she worries more about him now, as an adult, than she ever did then - something to do with him 'holidaying in sunny spots' I guess

[Florence Fennel]

I walked my children to infants school, I accompanied them to junior school and when they went to comprehensive school, I waved them goodbye. That was twenty odd years ago, but my daughter is doing the same with her three girls at present. Come to think of it, it's what my mum did with me! Parents must decide for themselves how they bring up their children.