Need to unload...really worried about

[kirsty b]

starting my Nursing course in Sept.

Its all I have wanted to do for last 6 years and I was absolutely ecstatic when I got an unconditional offer from Anglia Ruskin Uni.
Then the worries set in, would we survive on the bursary? would I be able to get enough bank shifts to top up bursary? will I make a good nurse? OMG wil I ever get this 26 page bursary application form filled in? how will I cope with placements/will there be any flexibility on stuident shifts? will I pass assignments/exams etc? will we as a family cope with the extra work, less money and potential stress? OH says he is happy if I am happy, but I know if I have a bad day and try to talk/think aloud on him his answer will be 'quit if you can't cope'

honestly I have been driving myself mad, not to mention the OH

Did a bit of googling and found a student nurse forum, which I have joined and have got in touch with two other girls who are starting the same course as me at the same campus in Sep. We are meeting on Saturday for a 'getting to know you' coffee so we at least know a couple of faces on our first day!!

So far so good, until I reply to a thread hoping/wondering whether that due to OH's permanaent nightshifts and the prohibitive cost of out of hours childcare and not wanting to take the pee out of family/friends I could try to arrange a degree of flexibility when arranging my shifts on placements. See below:

TBH it has been worrying me slightly too. My girl is at school full time but hubby works permanent nights mon-fri.

I'm hoping that the ward manager of each placement will allow me to do earlies mon-fri, if I also do a share of lates over weekends so that I do the unsociable hours too. I have no childcare in the evenings (couldn't afford it either), and I don't feel its fair to cart my girl around family late at night. (on them or her)

Cross that bridge when I come to it eh?

I don't expect special treatment ( the way I read one reply, it seemed as though poster thought I did, and hope thats not how I came across), but will try to find out what the ward policy is on each placement and make my arrangements accordingly, but the hospital I work at now does give students a degree of flexibility, as long as they do the full week's hours and work with their mentors.
I don't know how the hospital I will train at does things, and now I'm starting to worry about whether or not I will need to farm pickle out late at night once or twice a week. I'll get home from a late about 10pm I reckon, but my first ward placement not likely to be until Oct/Nov so I know I have time to get things in place. Just a worrier by nature
Really don't want to feel I have to give up now I am so close. If I farm pickle out to family (in-laws) they will be cool to my face, but I reckon I will get moaned about behind my back and I can't be doing with the politics quite frankly.

Sorry its a bit of a ramble, and I'm sure its not nearly as bleak as I'm imagining, but I feel I will get some very sensible replies on here as some of you are nurses/ex-nurses or work in some other discipline within the healthcare profession.

Also willing to do nights, but have been told students don't do nights till 3rd year.

thanks peeps, you are all brilliant.

[Caro]

Hi Kirsty,

I can't give you the nurse's point of view or knowledge, but congratulations! Don't lose sight of what you've achieved and how hard you've worked to get there. Your family will be proud.

I'm sure you'll work something out with all your family behind you, just ask for the support you need.

Good luck with it all, and I hope you enjoy it when it starts.

[SarzWix]

Honestly? I think you're just having that cold feet moment that everyone gets when a major life change is looming. I think it's good that you are anticipating these problems, because it means you have time to get prepared.
This is something that you've wanted to do for a long time, and now that the opportunity is here I think you have to run with it as best you can even if it feels like a three -legged race every now and again

Do you know yet where your placement will be? Is there any way that you can speak to someone who is placed there already? Or do they have a student support person you could speak to?

Also, for pickle, how about getting in contact with any local colleges that offer childcare courses? If you could get in touch with a second year student, you might find someone suitable to do the childcare at a reasonable cost?

I really hope that you find some solutions. Battle on honey, it'll all be worth it in a few years. (((((hugs)))))

[kirsty b]

The years will be broken up into blocks of college time and work placements. First 6 weeks of course will be college Mon-Fri so won't be too much of an issue, its only the ward shifts I'm worried about. Sure all will come right in the end,

Think you may be right about the cold feet Sarz, am looking forward to, and dreading in equal measure the changes to come.

[ginger ninger]

Hi Kirsty, I have a very close friend that had the exact same worries as you when she started nursing (qualified last May), she was all over the place with questions running round in her head, second guessing what peoples reactions were going to be, how they would react when asked to help out...she drove us all batty at times , but she got in touch with the hospital where she was placed and spoke to them explaining what her position was and they were great.
All she wanted I think was to be reassured that the course work and placements wouldn't cause too much upset/problems in her home life and for her little one, childcare was available at a reduced rate for her and being a full time student she got some help towards cost's from the government. Her husband worked full time on shifts and her family mucked in when needed. She said it was a struggle at times...but she wouldn't change a thing now, she loves nursing and is now thinking of going into midwifery.
Don't loose sight of what you want to do, as peeps have already said you've worked flipping hard to get to where you are sweet heart, don't be too hard on yourself, try not to worry about what people might or might not say/think about you and enjoy the ride.

[Nicos]

Time to put on your 'me' hat now kirsty.....neatly fold away the 'mommy' , 'wifey' ,daughter', housekeeper' ones until they are needed.
Time to focus on you

It is good that you are thinking about 'what if,what if'...that's exactly the attitude you'll need to make a fantastic nurse!

Sounds like it's going to be fine gal!

[Florence Fennel]

You'll be fine Kirsty. Hospitals are very flexible these days and Matrons understand that nurses have families to work around. Don't worry!

[jackie j]

Kirsty YOU can do this, YOU have put the work in, dont loose sight of what You will achieve, pickle will be ok, the family will rally round, dont worry about what they may say behind your back. When you get to the other side you will be able to say ' YEAH I DID IT '. The nerves are setting in and the ' what if's '. When you get your time table you will work things out.
Good luck and big hugs.

[janeyo]

It is a big step for you and you are bound to keep having second third forth thoughts etc. But you only get one shot at life and if you don't have go you will always regret it!

I am sure most or all of these issues will be resolved once you start the course, of course you are not asking for special treatment but on the other hand they will not want GREAT nurses to drop out and will help you if they can.

I think you will find it all works out fine

[Two_Sheds]

Cross each bridge as you come to it, and don't worry about the "big picture" all at once: deal with each problem as it crops up.
Inlaws should help out now and again (they must like spending time with their granddaughter?) and don't worry about the sniping they might do: it's not for ever.

When I was 16 I used to babysit for a night nurse, I got about £5 an hour so was happy with that: however, you may not have access to such reliable cheap child labour

[hamsterqueen]

Cross each bridge as you come to it, and don't worry about the "big picture" all at once: deal with each problem as it crops up.

Exactly, it;s amazing how things usually work out and you are bound to have second thoughts, shows you are not going into it blindly.

I went to uni when i was 29, had my daughter at the end of second year, took a year off and then went back to do my finals..OH got a job miles away and I was left with 1 year old all through the week! finally caught up with him * months later.

3 years applied to train as teacher, found I was pregnant again and postponed course until he was 1. Few weeks into that course and OH got a job back at first place leaving me with 5 year old , 1 year old and uni all through the week....


On paper I wouldn;t have been able to do it, but everything fell into place.
You will need to be organised, but if you want it bad enough you will manage.
honestly!

[bobleponge]

My sister went through exactly the same worries as you 3 years ago, and in a couple of months time I am hoping to go to her graduation in Coventry.

She had a well paid but unsatisfying job, and took a large paycut to become a student, her OH doesnt work nights but he does leave home at 4am 6 days a week, so things were difficult.

However, between them they managed, every time I speak to her she is more and more looking forward to being qualified and starting work properly as it were, her only real regret is that she didnt do it years before.

I think Sarz is probably right too, there's bound to be a certain amount of cold feet/nerves/trepidation, its the fear of the unknown.

Personally, for someone who has wanted to do nothing but for at least 6 years, I'm sure you will find ways round the issues, and in 3 years time exactly from now, you'll be looking forward to your final exams and your graduation.

Best of luck Kirsty, someone as special as you deserves to succeed, and I have no doubts you will.

[dexterdoglancashire]

A big change in your life can sometimes be daunting. I congratulte you Kirsty on the fact that you have decided to make a change and go for what you really want to do. Im sure that because of this, things will work out for you. You have made the most difficult first step and I know you will be able to sort out any issues along the way. Good luck chuck! I have every confidence in you and can't wait to see your graduation photos in 3 years time.

[kirsty b]

Thanks guys for letting me let off steam. I think deep down I know it'll be ok, but sometimes have doubts.

I have spoken to a friend who works at the hospital where I will do ward placements and she is going to put me in touch with some other students there so I can pick their brains and get a better idea of how things are there.
I get on great with MIL, but very conscious that I don't want to take advantage, she does have her own life after all, pickle loves being with her nanny and MIL loves seeing her.

Was umming and aaahing over whether to give up allotment, but now determined to hang on to it - its the best stress reliever I've ever had and my refuge from the world.
Got my work cut out getting it back on track, but will get there!

[binley100]

I can understand your worries but hey girl this is what YOU want to do so just go for it . I'm sure everything will work out just hunky dory . Good luck and Big hugs. X