Strewth Almighty

[Brengirl]

I have a distant relative that has always done his own thing and lived his own life. He is now in his 70's partially blind, living in Malta. He has children by his first marriage still in Guernsey. He has emailed me to ask for help with finding accommodation locally to us when his now ailing partner (prognosis a few months to live) dies.
I always thought that I could respond to a plea for help but?................

(I feel dreadfull posting this but should I be hospitable)

[lynda66]

I have a distant relative that has always done his own thing and lived his own life. He is now in his 70's partially blind, living in Malta. He has children by his first marriage still in Guernsey. He has emailed me to ask for help with finding accommodation locally to us when his now ailing partner (prognosis a few months to live) dies.
I always thought that I could respond to a plea for help but?................

(I feel dreadfull posting this but should I be hospitable)

how close are you to him? .... sounds a bit like he's expecting you to look after him .... i'd be giving him the number of an estate agent in guernsey .... sorry my hospitality goes to parents and maybe my sister at a push ... and of course the kids ..... but a distant relative? no chance ..... unless i was very close to them.

[Alison]

how close are you to him? .... sounds a bit like he's expecting you to look after him .... i'd be giving him the number of an estate agent in guernsey .... sorry my hospitality goes to parents and maybe my sister at a push ... and of course the kids ..... but a distant relative? no chance ..... unless i was very close to them.

Or maybe it's an area of the country where he wants to live and therefore he's simply contacting somebody who would know where was good and where to avoid. Tell him what you know, if you've lived where you do for a bit then you must have some gems which could prove helpful. He's probably going through a pretty hard time at the moment with not being able to see well and coping with losing a partner so anything anybody can do to help could prove very important to another human being.

[SarzWix]

Perhaps you could send him details of all the places with sheltered housing in your area? I think it's quite hard to do that sort of thing from a distance without any knowledge. It should be easy enough to explain that you have yourself and your OH to look after, but that you will assist with estate agents details etc?
Good luck Bren, I'm sure you have the sense not to take on more than you can manage

[Patchninja]

I think you're right to be wary of the situation. If he's going to need a lot of help, then perhaps his children should be the ones to provide it. Or,at least, he should be up-front with you about his needs so you can make an educated decision.

[Brengirl]

This is exactly how I feel. In the past he has proved himself to be a sponger. I do feel for his predicament but I do not like him. Nuff said