Anger

[Jax]

ok so Im reaching out abit here.

Im struggling abit at the moment, I can feel my temper rising all the time at the moment. Im struggling to find my calm at the moment. I would usually take abit of me time but with my "situation" I struggle to get time to myself. It is also not helping that OHs "freind" comes round ALL the time and he makes my blood boil. Perhaps its just frustration building I dont know.

What helps you calm and is there anything I can do to help myself as I really dont like feeling this way.

[rustylady]

If you care about something and it's going wrong you will obviously get angry. There's nothing wrong with being angry, it's the way you deal with it that matters. Do you have anyone you can talk to openly and honestly to let off steam??

[Flummery]

I find singing something I like at the top of my voice helps me. You end up concentrating so much on what you're singing that you forget to be angry.

I also like to take out my mean side on a batch of bread dough. It can't answer back either!

[Jax]

Thanks rustylady, no I dont really. OH has to have everything happy, happy to help him with his recovery as negativity sets him back and Im not close with family anymore. My freinds have families so I dont get to see them very often.

[shirlthegirl43]

I agree with Flummery, make bread and take out all your frustration on it. The more anger you throw at it the better the bread will be - I call it constructive destruction

Also, feel free to PM me and let off steam - I promise not to take offence

[Jax]

awww thankyou shirl, at the moment I usually end up waiting till I get ten minutes and slump off and cry my eyes out. However, I dont think its the best way. So Im currently baking my heart out. Hubby said I neednt do so much for this hamper I am making for my freinds but I made him aware it makes me feel happier so its win win all round.

[Brengirl]

Not knowing your story up to now Jax I can only feel that you have borne a burden for a long time now and need a bit of respite. Carers do suffer and give so much of themselves that that begin to appear as nobodys.
I advocate throwing a huge wobbly. Scream and shout as loud as you can until someone notices you. After that you will have to play by ear lol.

[lindyloo]

same as brengirl, and how about going out for a couple of hours when his mate comes round, and do something for you- go for a brisk walk, or meet up with a friend

[Jax]

I cant part of his "stuff" is he has monophobia. I became his "safety" person when I was so young that I didnt realise what was going on let alone do anything about it. Hopefully with his cbt and emdr he will get better soon but meanwhile I need to find a therapeutic way of releiving some frustrations.

[jackie j]

I would ask the friend if he could take over for an hour or so, half an hour even. Go and do something you want, do you have any friends you could meet for coffee. Go to your bedroom and read a book, watch tv, have a bath or whatever. Leave the friend in charge.
Pm me if you feel the need. I looked after my sister for the last 18 months of her life but at the end of the day I could come home.

[denise]

Just read your families story, you have had so much worry and heartache, no wonder you feel the way you do. Have got a close girl friend that could come round, glass of something and a funny/sloppy DVD, chocolate - you get the picture. Was going to say go out for an hour but you probably don't want to be away from home.
You are in my prayers and i send all my love xx

[lindyloo]

what jackie j and denise suggest then. you have to have some time for you, and be able to let go of it all, for just a little while. do you get a relief/ resprite visitor who stays while you get a break? perhaps they could give some extra time

[Madame Mucksprout]

If there is nothing more you can do about a situation (youve planned, and reasoned and now all you have to do is wait for things to work) then I find a good way of letting off steam is to dance (alone clearly) dance really madly to really loud music that you love. Put it on loop if necessary, untill you start to believe the words and you are out of breath!!!
Only a temprary fix, but if you have maade all your choices and all you have to do is held on untill things are fixed then maybe have a good loud blow out to get rid of frustration.

[Jax]

Thankyou, you have all been so helpful. Feeling abit better now, I just get to the point where the frustration builds. Its so difficult as the government dont recognise me as a carer because hes got a mental health issue so no help there. Talking to you guys helps though

[Liza]

I find kicking the carp out of a few empty boxes in the garage helps