Foreign Weddings: opinion

[jackie j]

My son is getting married next year, they have both booked stag and hen do abroad and have been moaning to me about people who cant afford to go, including my sons brothers, they dont even have passports that initself is expensive. They then booked other ones in this country and again my other sons wont commit to going so my son cancelled it.
To me the amount they are spending is over the top, but who am I to say anything, I am not paying for it and the bride has always had what she wants from her parents. I think my son is struggling to pay for things as it is with out the added expenses.
It is the BRIDE and GROOMS day as I keep telling them.
If some one wants to get married abroad then they must understand not everyone will be able to go.

[Suky]

My daughter always wanted to get married in an exotic location but then real life kicked in. The cost was a real issue and then they realised that the 3 elderly Grannies would not be able to go as they couldn't travel that far and that decided them. We had a wonderful day in a lovely local hotel, cake, flowers, dress and decorations created by me, my best friend and my Mum. They then went on a wonderful honeymoon to Cyprus.
As has been said before, it is up to the couple to decide which is most important to them. A wedding is supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing but those invited should not feel pressured into going if it is too expensive etc.

[bobleponge]

My daughter was supposed to be getting married in France next year, but I think it may be on hold for a while, Its their day, and so of course (as most have said) what they choose to do is entirely their business.
I am delighted that its in France (if it happens) but I would have been distraught, absolutely devastated in fact, if she had decided to get married somewhere far away and I couldnt have been there.

[Jelliebabe]

A friend of mine didnt go to her sisters hen do in Tunisia as she couldnt afford it! It came in at about £500 each (for four days) and her sister wouldnt let them do what they wanted to ie see a bit of the country... they did however have the wedding in this country!

[janeyo]

I have already had a big white wedding - now divorced. OH is now making noises about getting married (to me hopefully LOL although with him it's anybody's guess), after telling me for 8 years it's a lot of money to spend on a piece of paper. Took me 8 years and 2 children to get a ring at all out of him, and it's an eternity ring as he says we are doing it all backwards anyway!
Anyhoo, we went to a wedding eveing party thing the other week where the couple had gone abroad with their young children, got wed all on their own then had a receptoin type do when they got home - buffet and disco.

It was lovely, as they got to celebrate with all their chosen friends and also had the ceremony they wanted too. And she got to wear her dress twice I think this is what we will do if he ever gets round to asking me....!

But I wouldn't expect anyone to fork out and go with us abroad - you could even set up a video link so people at home could watch. Plus we have lots of elderly rellies who wouldn't be able to go anway. I thiknk my OH thought at first it was a day to please everyone else... now he is coming round to the idea of pleasing us and also then having a little do after.

[Hilary B]

My son married a Mexican lass. I just about managed the fare to be at the wedding in Mexico, then 6 months later they got married again over here. Among her relations who couldn't come was her Gran (a lovely old lady, in frail health) so they set up a video-link for her. There are always ways round it.
That was 2 weddings with the same dress as well.

[kirsty b]

OH and I briefly considered marrying abroad, but even though we could have got ourselves and the kids out there it would have been difficult/impossible for some of our families to come. We ended up have a small wedding locally, it it was just right.

Not being able to afford both is not selfish at all.

[BrokenOphelia]

I got married in the UK and I wouldnt have had it any different. We were poor at the time and it was a budget wedding (both being students) and so it was an easy choice but it also meant that everyone could come who wanted to. I do think it is up to you where you have your wedding but I think people who choose to get married abroad should expect to have a lot less guests if any at all because of the cost and time implications.

My cousin got married in Mexico and only invited her and the grooms parents which I think is the sensible way to do it if you are going to get married far away. She also upset a lot of people because they couldnt go to the actual wedding (the same cousin who got upset because I said the civil wedding part of my wedding was immediate family only when the limit for the room was 10 people and I have 5 siblings...story longer than that feel free to ask) which upset her.

So if you look at it from the two sides it seems like a tightrope dance, a wedding abroad, to balance out inviting the people who would love to come with the costs and time of doing that. It would be great if everyone could afford it all but a lot of people can't.

It is not selfish to not have the money to go to both the wedding and the hen, it is infact kind of asking a bit much I think to ask you to fork out money twice on going abroad for one wedding, if she wants to have both abroad and you can't do both then it will have to be one or the other which is practical not selfish at all.

...I have no idea if any of what I said made sense >.< my dyslexia struck again I think.

[Brengirl]

8 years ago my son and partner went to New York for a Valentines weekend. He managed to find time to send me an email attaching a pic. The venue was Central Park and the bride was wearing a beautiful white gown and the groom in tails. Yep - it was them - the sneaky so and so's. I was speechless for once and wept with pure joy. How they managed to keep it a secret I shall never know. On their reurn we had a big bash at a local hotel. Perfick