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Bill Gates gets put in his place!

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  • Bill Gates gets put in his place!

    General Motors gives Bill Gates "what for"

    Thought you'd enjoy this one……anything sound familiar??

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives.

    Read on....

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

    'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'



    In response to Bill's comment, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6 The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation' warning light.

    I love the next one!!!

    7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

    PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service’ in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

    Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!
    The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
    Brian Clough

  • #2
    That is one of those 'been around for a while, but always worth another airing' messages.
    Flowers come in too many colours to see the world in black-and-white.

    Comment


    • #3
      Ah, but there'd be no vine without them!

      Comment


      • #4
        I actually have respect for BG - throw rotten eggs at me if you wish
        aka
        Suzie

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by piskieinboots View Post
          I actually have respect for BG - throw rotten eggs at me if you wish
          We have an ostrich farm near us.
          The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
          Brian Clough

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by piskieinboots View Post
            I actually have respect for BG - throw rotten eggs at me if you wish
            I prefer Bing to Google. I think Google knows far to much about me and like to give my business to poor old BG!
            My Majesty made for him a garden anew in order
            to present to him vegetables and all beautiful flowers.- Offerings of Thutmose III to Amon-Ra (1500 BCE)

            Diversify & prosper


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            • #7
              Originally posted by Snadger View Post
              I prefer Bing to Google. I think Google knows far to much about me and like to give my business to poor old BG!
              When I mentioned BG to Madderbat she said "Bob Geldoff"?
              The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
              Brian Clough

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by bubblewrap View Post
                We have an ostrich farm near us.


                .................
                aka
                Suzie

                Comment


                • #9
                  It's a variation on 'if Microsoft made toasters' but amusing nevertheless.

                  As a bit of a nerd who's been using bl**dy computers since 1983 I always get a laugh from this:

                  If IBM made toasters…
                  They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.

                  If Microsoft made toasters…
                  Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 8 tons (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone
                  would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.

                  If Apple made toasters…
                  It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.

                  If Xerox made toasters…
                  You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you.

                  If Radio Shack made toasters…
                  The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster.

                  If Oracle made toasters…
                  They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke.

                  Does DEC still make toasters?…
                  They made good toasters in the '80s, didn't they?

                  If Hewlett-Packard made toasters…
                  They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread.

                  If Cray made toasters…
                  They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world.

                  If The Rand Corporation made toasters…
                  It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service department would have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints for the box would be highly classified government documents. The X-Files would have an episode about it.

                  If Sony made toasters…
                  The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your belt.

                  Comment

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