Advice please

[Incy]

At the end of October we took on an allotment which is fab. However we then discovered that DS, who has Aspergers, has a total phobia of going there. I suspect that it may have to do with all the locked gates.
He is ok on our friends plot because he has been there lots so we didn't expect a problem.
It is making it very difficult to get up there and do the necessary work at the moment as one of us has to be at home with him all the time.
As I know that the grapevine is full of wonderful people with a wealth of knowledge, not just gardening related, I was hoping that some of you might be able to come up with some ideas on how to help him overcome this fear and be happy to come with us from time to time.

[Seahorse]

I never like to advise on this kind of thing really, as all 'special' kids are special in their own way, aren't they? However, something that's worked for Tom in the past is allowing him to be very enclosed, so all that external (distressing!) stimulus is at one remove. How about a pop up tent, or his own space in the shed (if you have one)? Then once he's there, he can be in his own space with whatever games/books/toys he likes.

[rustylady]

As Seahorse says, all children are different. As he is comfortable on your friends plot, how about asking them to go with you a few times. This may reassure him that it's an OK place.

[Incy]

Thanks Seahorse. That sounds like a really good idea and although we don't have a shed, we do have a small pop up tent.
Your right that all 'special kids' are different, which is why I'm simply hoping for creative ideas like yours to try.
I will be planting a strawberry bed there so that at least when they are in season he can come to pick/eat them.

[Poddington Pea]

Hi Incy,
how old is your son?
I'm no expert, but have had lots of experience with children and teens with varying degrees.
My suggestion would be to talk about the allotment casually in conversation, don't make apoint of it. Perhaps take some pictures of birds, plants, trees for him to look at when you return from the plot.
Give him a managable task like starting off some peas in pots. He could take responsibilty for these plants and encourage their growth at home, then when the time comes to plant them out tell him that they will need to go outside to carry on growing. Show him the photos of the plot again and talk to him about planting them there. Get him to look for the trees, flowers, plants you have photographed when you get there, this should distract him while you get through the gates. Go all together or arrange for someone else to lock up behind you once you're all the way in.

Keep your visits short to begin with. Set short tasks like 'we'll just water these plants and when we have finished we will go home' or 'when we have dug this bed we will stop for a drink at a snack' then gauge his mood and don't push it. If he seems happy but you have finished the task ask him if he'd like to leave or he may become agitated when he realises you haven't left when you said you would.

Depending on his age/stage there is a great programme he might like on cbeebies at 10am and repeated later on. It's called 'Mr Bloom's Nursery' and is all about a man on his allotment! I love it

good luck and let us know how you get on
x

[Incy]

He is 13 and was only diagnosed last September. We have been with our friend from the other plot (he's now got a 2nd plot on our site)
I really like the idea of lots of pictures he can look at. Visual techniques are proving very helpful for him.
Until now we grew everything in the back garden. This worked ok although when he got jealous of me spending time on the veg patch I was liable to get a football blasted into my crops.
He enjoys the food that comes from the garden but struggles to relate the lovely meals his dad cooks him to the growing I do.

[Poddington Pea]

Maybe give him a patch of his own and talk to him about what he likes to eat and would therefore like to grow eg. Tomatoes, onions and garlic for pasta sauce etc.

[di]

Just a thought...if he showed signs of jealousy re you spending time on your plot in the garden,could it be a similar thing with the plot...that he feels it's taking him away from the things he enjoys and feels safe around just so you can have fun pottering about with your veg?
Maybe set aside an area just for him including a little den and space to do some of his normal day to day activities there?

If you think the locked gates could be a problem would it be worth chatting to the field secretary and asking if for a few weeks you could arrange to go up there at busy times for just ten or twenty minutes but leave the gates open?I know some get really funny about the gates being locked 100% of the time,but if you chose a Saturday morning when there's enough people about I can't see there'd be a problem.

Good Luck in finding something that works.xxx

[Mikey]

I'm not knowledgeable about Aspergers, but I know my DD, loves going through my seed packets and sorting them into her favourites. She has her own pots, which she has decorated and seed trays and markers, she enjoys planting her favourite coloured plants, and likes having a go at doing something different like a cress potato head.

I think kids like to do things that are different, and to have some control on what they are doing. My DD loves watering, and has two of her own cans, little and often seems to work better than long stints.

[jackyspratty]

If he likes your friends plot, how about him helping your friend to take a few fruit bush cuttings or the like, from their plot up to the new plot? It might help him establish a link between the two and see them in a similar light?

It might help him estsblish a similarity with the new plot maybe?