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The European Commission has announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government has conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Eurolish for short)
In the first year ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Seratinly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard ‘c’ will be replased with ‘k’. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f ‘. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20% shorter.
In the third year publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of silent ‘e’s in the langaug is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’and ‘w’ by ‘v’. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ can be droped from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kominations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vill hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ekh ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !
As part of the negotiations, the British government has conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Eurolish for short)
In the first year ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Seratinly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard ‘c’ will be replased with ‘k’. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f ‘. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20% shorter.
In the third year publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of silent ‘e’s in the langaug is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’and ‘w’ by ‘v’. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ can be droped from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kominations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vill hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ekh ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !
it wont be long before German 
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