Gardeners Rest #6 (2011)

[VirginVegGrower]

Leek - a rare Welsh specimen that could stand...

[mothhawk]

...in for a palm tree in a production of Aladdin without looking out of place. All those with a firefighter fetish had nipped through to the lounge bar where the pompiers were trying a pint of English old ale, having left...

[VirginVegGrower]

Nicos on the floor, having missed the opportunity to give resuscitation techniques
No matter, Cardiff Steve was there picking up the remnants of his special leek, when in bursts Aberdeen Plotter. "Cry no tears over that allium Cardiff Steve, I can produce another one in no time". With a rowsing rendition of Alliumetta the poor leek pieces started spinning into a magical leek once more and as it climbed and climbed, a hunky French Pompier slid down it, scooped Nicos up into his arms...whilst Cardiff Steve and Aberdeen Plotter looked on...and

[Nicos]

whilst gazing into her deep blue eyes....

offered to help pluck her chin....

[Nicos]

"Oi" she cried " leave that alone- I'm trying to grow that - I want to play Fluffy the Hedgehog again in this years panto...one has to try one's best you know!"

[Glutton4...]

But it was too late, the hunky Pompier had wealded his shiny tweezers and plucked her chin clean. Luckily she was powerless to resist, and they were last seen sn*gging frantically behind the bar.

Meanwhile...

[Nicos]

Fifi had wandered in from the deep snow outside and kicked off her wellies.

"Mon Dieu !!!" cried the pompier( spotting hobbits feet)

Dumping poor Nicos he dashed over to Fifi.
Well- there was Fifi - in semi shock at the sight of a pompier keeling at her feet when suddenly she saw a flash of steel .
There he was attacking poor Fifi's feet with his tweezers ( and remember children- NOBODY calls our Fifi 'FIFI') "oh yes they do" "oh no they don't"

All our gallant Grapes clambered aboard trying to wrestle the tweezers off the pompier - or the pompier off poor Fifi's feet when suddenly.....

[mothhawk]

...the remaining firefighters dashed out of the pub, scooped up their tweezer wielding comrade, climbed back into their fire truck and sped off over the hill with all lights flashing, in search of conflagrations new. "You don't often see that", said...

[Glutton4...]

Aberdeenplotter, waving an Onion.

Just then...

[mothhawk]

...Nicos waved her wand and the onion turned into a pumpkin. "You don't often see that" said...

[Nicos]

a group of white mice which were nibbling on a nice big piece of Cheddar.
With a sudden flash they turned into beautiful white horses leaping around inside the Gardeners Rest wondering what on earth had happened to them.

"Stand back" cried G4 ( she was in her element " I'll take care of these beauties!"
Swifter than you could say "I love Panto" ( oh no you don't- oh yes you do etc etc) she.....

[mothhawk]

...coralled them in a corner with the bar stools, and sent AP out for a bucket and shovel. "Can't let good manure go to...

[Aberdeenplotter]

someone else's plot, I'll send over for .......

[VirginVegGrower]

My onion fairy! Let's put that muck round my onions and with the spade over his shoulder and a wheelbarrow of manure, he was last seen following the pompiers over the hill, whistling "hi ho hi ho, it's off to work I go, with a barrow and spade and my lemonade, hi ho...it turned to Alliumetta as he turned the corner...meanwhile back in the Gardeners Rest...

[Aberdeenplotter]

they were all staring in disbelief as AP returned with an empty wheelbarrow. Damned good stuff that he said. Anyone .....