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  • #31
    The way I see it is like this. I'm a DIL and a MIL. I love my MIL but I have a SIL who doesn't get on well with her at all. We all accept that. FOr example, last Sunday lunch we went out to lunch with my BIL, his 2 girls and my MIL. SIL stayed at home.
    As a MIL. I have a son and a daughter. I look at the peeps my children have chosen to make their lives with and I ask myself the question : does this person make my baby happy? The answer is a yes to both so I see it as my duty as a Mum to do everything I can to make life easier for them. I don't interfer, and don't turn up on their doorsteps, and would never give unasked-for advice.
    I think your DH should step up and defend you. OK, you only have one Mum but that doesn't give her any right to be nasty and you don't have to put up with it.
    Send him round to HIS mum to clean next Sunday and in the weeks to come.

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    • #32
      My ex MIL should be the mould all others are cast from. Tolerant, non judgemental and always there with a listening ear but without any side taking. The world will truely be a poorer place when she dies.

      Claire's mother is a pleasant old stick, reserved and rather like Lady Whiteadder but she tolerates me and likes my big bear hugs which are inflicted on her whenever I see her. She is lovely and to be fair I cannot complain much.... well those Methodist temperance looks when you sip your wine at dinner are enough to drive you to drink lol.

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      • #33
        Can't really complain, she's letting my use the huge garden as i like. So I cook the stuff for her.
        I give and take and so does she.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Piggle View Post
          This is going to sound awful but they phone here 3 or 4 times a week and are always wanting to know in detail what I've been doing... how , why etc.
          My in laws are like this, except my OH speaks to them at least 3 times a day, I don't answer the phone anymore, I just hand it to her.

          Originally posted by Seahorse View Post
          But - would you (one) put up with abuse from your partner/child/neighbour/colleague? I don't think most of us would, so why excuse someone because they happen to be related to your spouse?
          We also have to remember that family generally take out their frustration on each other not those that they should do. We all say things in the heat of the moment that later we might regret, should we all be ostracized for it, I don't think so.

          Some time and space is good and letting you husband bear the burden for a while gives you some space, but don't leave it too long as a passing comment can sometimes ensure that families never talk to each other ever again.

          Its always better to clear the air, and to do so in a adult fashion either just the two of you or with your husband present. For the sake of everyone.
          I'm only here cos I got on the wrong bus.

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          • #35
            I'm the perfect mother in law. I gave my sons to their wives, kept my daughter and treat her husband like my son.
            Granny on the Game in Sheffield

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Florence Fennel View Post
              I'm the perfect mother in law...
              *Pukes
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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              • #37
                I think my mother likes my husband better than me and my brother.... I wonder if we got divorced if she would take him in LOL
                http://meandtwoveg.blogspot.com

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by janeyo View Post

                  There is nothing wrong with her mind, if there were we would have been able to force the changes we have been( gently) suggesting!
                  I noticed this part of your post which I thought might have inflamed your situation slightly. I hope you can sort out your problems.

                  Loving my allotment!

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Glutton4... View Post
                    *Pukes
                    Hope you don't choke
                    Granny on the Game in Sheffield

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Glutton4... View Post
                      *Pukes
                      With the New Avatar, are we to take it you are a little under the weather G4?
                      I'm only here cos I got on the wrong bus.

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Mikeywills View Post
                        With the New Avatar, are we to take it you are a little under the weather G4?
                        The Puke was at Flo's comment. The Avatar sums up my attitude to the festive season this year. Too much going on at the moment to even want to think about being festive. Normality will return, no doubt. Now stop changing the subject!

                        Mothers in Law...
                        All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
                        Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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                        • #42
                          G4s on form I see.

                          Colin
                          Potty by name Potty by nature.

                          By appointment of VeggieChicken Member of the Nutters club.


                          We hang petty thieves and appoint great ones to public office.

                          Aesop 620BC-560BC

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                          • #43
                            Nah Colin, she's on the chimney pot
                            Granny on the Game in Sheffield

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                            • #44
                              Well she's been there a while, at least there's plenty of fresh air. She should take a leaf out of the victorians book and takes the waters, its supposed to be very good for movements.
                              I'm only here cos I got on the wrong bus.

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                              • #45
                                Now't wrong with my movements. Not since I discovered dried Apricots!
                                All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
                                Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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