Have come to you guys cos I am so desperate for some words of wisdom

[VirginVegGrower]

VVG

Please could you post up a link. I have found this;

Do You Have a Thyroid Problem? Take The Thyroid Test

and scored a worrying 30/41!

Its nice to know I have someone around who understands

Thyroid UK - Hypothyroidism Signs and Symptoms

Try taking the symptom checker as per URL above. But I would very much get back to your doctor and request T3 in addition to the others they have probably sent off already. Demand the actual readings from the hospital, prep your doctor in advance, because normally the just get a normal/abnormal reading back. In the rest of Europe and US they have a greater ratio of allowable readings than here, which means we in this country can struggle for years as "borderline".

Let me know how you get on

[Florence Fennel]

You're sounding much more positive now Tammy and full marks to Bluebell for helping out. Discuss all your symptoms with your GP. You're a busy lady, it could just be fatigue. Hope all gets better soon.

[Hilary B]

Overnight something registered about CAMH... IT'S NOT A LAST RESORT! It's the way to assess one of the possible reasons for the difficulty, a diagnostic approach. Diagnosis is NEVER the last resort!

[rustylady]

I agree with Hilary, it should not be a last resort. Found this website which will give you some more information Tammy. Child and Adolescent Mental Health ::camh.org.uk Have a look round the site - they have discussion forum for parents too.

[VirginVegGrower]

I think it's a chap trying to assert his maleness without the male figure around to give him the example of "how to be male. I would also guess a very bright boy is getting easily bored and his average peers will ostracise him because he's brighter. It's not just those below average that suffer. I hate those phrases, but you get my drift. How about getting him assessed IQ wise? They may be able to offer guidance in how to keep a gifted child "occupied". Cutting yourself in four quarters is hard. I cut myself in half and it's hard enough at that, although I worked f/t too. I was lucky to have a mother's help (grandmother). Ask the school to provide your son with a male member of staff as role model mentoring on a day to day basis. I bet you start to see a difference.

[Mrs Twigg]

Hi F&D,
I really feel for you....keep ur chin up!. I
agree with the others re a bit of male time for him and also a few special times when he has you all to himself
I have 2 other thoughts here.....having had a slightly wild daughter.
Does he get enough sleep......like 10 hrs or so?
Are there certain foods that 'trigger' him........my daughter was very sensitive to a whole variety of additives and colours and anything high in sugar..........thankfully she did grow out of most of it, tho even now a glass of coke gets her 'high' and she is 21!

[SarzWix]

I had to do the opposite Mrs Twigg, and cut out anything with artificial sweeteners in. Could always tell when he'd been given any 'sugar-free' juice at a friend's house Phenylalinine (sp?) turned him quite nasty/full of attitude Better to go for protein based snacks and milk or water to drink and avoid sugar/carbs altogether though, if that's achievable.

[di]

Anything orange seems to send Ash nuts, natural or artificial. Strangely, on the very rare occasion he has it, coke seems to calm him down. He's always full of energy and the more energy he uses, the more he seems to make, it's only when he's either really tired or has had foods that don't agree that that energy can turn a little sour.

I know with all else that you have going on that it's just one more task, but it really would be worth having a look at his diet and any possible intolerances. Doesn't need to be unhealthy for him to react badly to it. Hope you're having a decent weekend. x

[Finedon.Dandy]

Hi all

Thought I should give you an update.

Thursday (which started out so well) ended with me being told of three seperate incidents where he had hit another child. Oh dearie, dearie me.

I had an awful morning with him Friday and was then greeted with the words "I need to have a chat with you" and then as I entered his classroom "here is the devastation he has just caused" Well I never did get to the bottom of what had happened but it would seem that he had upturned some chairs and scattered a few papers, in anger, at the end of the day and he had spent some time in both the secretarys office (they say time out - he said he was doing special work so if it was time out it was a waste of time cos he didnt understand thats what it was!) and the headteachers office to chat about the last couple of days.

I have had deafness suggested as a possible cause as well a diabetes?? Saturday was fair behaviour, albeit dinner time decended into chaos. He got upset when he was sent to bed but calmed down when I suggested he had Daddy bedtime all to himself whilst I did the other three. He went quite happily to church this am with Daddy, Bluebelle said she didnt feel well enough and neither did I so I am trying to rest today to get up the enegery to cope with whatever next week may bring.

Hope you are all having a fab weekemd.

Much love

Tammy

[VirginVegGrower]

The fact he is happily going to Church with Dad is speaking volumes I'm afraid. Deafness testing as well as sight testing is routinely used to "rule out" those conditions in poor behaviour children. As for diabetes, not sure where they have dredged that gem from, unless he has extreme thirst does he?
If Dad has a week off work, how is his behaviour then?

[di]

Hi tammy. I agree with VVG, (I think,if that's what she's saying ), seems that he really is desperate to be spending time with his Dad. He can't necessarily change his workload, and shouldn't be made to feel guilty about being away when he has no choice, but at the same time he could do with stepping up a bit when he is there and finding time to do stuff with BB as much as possible.

Have you had any more thoughts about CAMHS? I know it scares you and you see it as a last resort. I was thinking about you and this last night. You could be thinking 'My God, if he's like this at 5, what will he be like when he's 15?' Or you could think how lucky you are that he started displaying these behaviours at such a young and manageable age....get the help and I'm sure he'll grow up to be a well balanced happy young lad. xxx

[jackyspratty]

Hi Tammy, sorry not contributed before, but amny pints already coverd that I would have raised too. My son had extreme reactions to yellow food colouring within minutes, but that was easy to pin point in comparison to the options being presented to you. Re the male role model aspect, is their a chance you could find a local scout movement suitable for his age? It may be a chance for him to form realtionships with older males and also male peers without the aspect of school. Male bonding with some fun thrown in really? Just a thought, not much of a contribution but hope it helps F&D.

Take care
Donnax

[lizzylemon]

Have you had any more thoughts about CAMHS? I know it scares you and you see it as a last resort. I was thinking about you and this last night. You could be thinking 'My God, if he's like this at 5, what will he be like when he's 15?' Or you could think how lucky you are that he started displaying these behaviours at such a young and manageable age....get the help and I'm sure he'll grow up to be a well balanced happy young lad. xxx

It's a massive step but it will be a positive outcome either way. If a result comes back 'positive' you will have a starting point to get the right treatment, support and maybe medication. If no answers come back, you will know it's not something down this line of thought.

As an example: my Ex was diagnosed about 2 years ago with Cyclothemia, the 3rd much lesser known type of Bio-polar. He didn't suddenly develop this, he's had it since he was a young child. Not a reflection on your family life at all, but his family was very unstable; a mostly absent father, who when around was drunk and abusive and his mother compensated too much to make up for everything else, so his behavour was left. It got worse in his late teens and as a young man but again, everyone turned a blind eye to it. It was 'just him'. He believes he had 2 nervous break downs during his life. He couldn't hold down a 'normal' job and had very distructive relationships. We met during a calm phase, which sadly digressed when our child was born. After 2 years of living hell I managed to get him to a wonderful local GP who took me seriously and he stopped covering his moods. He eventually got a diagnosis and medication. 2 years later he's the person he should have always been. if only it had happened much earlier in his life....

[VirginVegGrower]

Hi tammy. I agree with VVG, (I think,if that's what she's saying ), seems that he really is desperate to be spending time with his Dad. He can't necessarily change his workload, and shouldn't be made to feel guilty about being away when he has no choice, but at the same time he could do with stepping up a bit when he is there and finding time to do stuff with BB as much as possible.

Have you had any more thoughts about CAMHS? I know it scares you and you see it as a last resort. I was thinking about you and this last night. You could be thinking 'My God, if he's like this at 5, what will he be like when he's 15?' Or you could think how lucky you are that he started displaying these behaviours at such a young and manageable age....get the help and I'm sure he'll grow up to be a well balanced happy young lad. xxx

Yes Di, exactly what I meant

Cubs is a good idea too for all boys as it is a great outlet that doesn't hit hard on the purse and if you arrange it for a night when dad is around, he could go in as a parent helper, post CRB check.
Between 6 and 13, boys emulate males, dads and peers. If there isn't one acting as a regular presence then they struggle to appreciate how male they need/don't need to be. Surges in hormones play a big part and I think most of us with boys who are now in their teens have seen the changes. Boys calm down in teens, when the girls step it up. So glad I have one of each

[weekendwellies]

I have no experience of raising boys, as I have girls myself, who fortunately didn't give me too much bother behaviour wise, (only nephews).
On the odd occasion that one of the girls started to behave a bit differently, I would try to have a one to one day with her, getting someone to mind the other one for a few hours. It doesn't have to be a whole day, a morning or afternoon or evening works just as well.
During our one to ones, we would do something that she would like, for us it was going into town, a bit of retail therapy, lunch, sometimes going to the cinema, and when they were very little, going to the park, playing on the swings, etc. During our day together, we would just chat, laugh, play, hug, hold hands, etc. Sometimes I would find out there was something bothering her, other times I wouldn't, but it always seemed to make a difference to her general behaviour when we had our day together.
The main thing to remember is, it is not your fault, it cant be, the other kids dont behave this way, do they. He is only 6, so he doesnt know how to express himself properly yet, and this is his way of doing it.
Hope you feel better soon. xx