How do you snap out of it?

[di]

Firstly, this is not a sympathy call...just in need of tips as to how to get my motivation back.

As you're possibly all aware, me and Andi split up earlier this year, fairly amicably. Anyway, I had visions of creating the perfect little life and home for me and the kiddies and somewhere along the line it all went a little pear shaped.

So....when you've let everything get on top of you, how do you get back on track. (and I know sitting at the computer isn't getting the laundry sorted )

[Thelma Sanders]

Been there done that, treat yourself gently for a while

Then find something you fancy doing and do that, even if it's just something simple like going for a walk........walks are good for putting things in perspective, I always find.
Once you start doing something, it leads to more 'doing things'.
Chin up and good luck!

[veggiechicken]

I make myself a list of "things to do" for the day. Some tasks will be the things I definitely do not want to do and keep putting off, and others will be easy and mindless. I choose a horrid job and a couple of easy ones and promise myself that when I've done them I can have a "reward" - a cuppa, lunch, that sort of thing. Then I tick off the jobs I've done and feel so much better about it.
With household jobs I sometimes pretend it is my job to be the cleaner and I am being paid to work for say 3 hours. This makes me start on time, and finish 3 hours later and, more importantly, not get sidetracked into looking at the computer or reading magazines that are lying around.
At the end of the week, I feel quite smug and "pay" myself with something I really enjoy doing!
In case you're wondering, its my day off today!

[scarey55]

Sorry to hear that things aren't quite going according to plan (at the moment ) I agree with Veggiechicken, make lists of practical things that need doing and notice how smug you feel when you cross something off.
On the emotional front, be nice to yourself as Thelma says, and don't be too hard on yourself. No one can be Superwoman and things will steadily settle down.
Sending hugs (even though you don't want sympathy)
Now GET ON WITH IT xx

[Jax]

Completely agree with veggiechicken. When I struggle getting motivation up I have a to do list and it makes it alot easier. I have a focus and a goal then whereas on ths eame day if I hadnt a to do list I find myself wandering around aimlessly not knowing what to do and getting quite upset. Once I start to feel better I no longer need the list. Dont worry if life hasnt gone to plan, you will move on to something even greater soon. Sometimes a person needs to cry all their tears away to allow room in their heart for joy xx

[SarzWix]

What Veggie said ^.

And essentially, don't beat yourself up about it, that's a downward spiral!

I'm pathetic when I don't have a set routine, and since Mils went to 'big school' and I don't have to do the school run anymore, my day is in pieces. Still sat here at the computer 3 hours after I got up, and done nowt useful

[donnakebab]

I agree with the above. Make a list of things you want to to achieve in a month like odd bits of sewing, decorating, spring cleaning, getting rid of stuff you don't use, trying new recipes or sorting through your seed box (my task today). Then each week try and tick a couple off. Maybe try and get the kiddies to do the same sort of thing (don't know how old they are). Then it's reward time.

Hugs, good luck and chin up. X

[Nicos]

Starting with a little cry is always a useful start- then look around you and see what you actually have which is precious to you....then appreciate it all by sharing a smile with as many people as you can ( yup- go out food shopping and smile/talk to and help anyone who you can). Put a smile on THEIR face!

'The List' is something I've always done cos it's soooo rewarding to have completed a task.

Pottering just isn't as fulfilling is it?

[scarey55]

Pottering just isn't as fulfilling is it?

You ain't wrong there Mme

[taff]

yup, I'm with everyone on the list.
Also, if you really are feeling down, the last thing you want to do is smile, but stick a comedy dvd on, and you will feel better, I guarantee it. it might take half the prgramme or half the film to raise a smile, but once you've done it once, you can keep doing it and you'll feel better.
Also, sometimes, you just need time for your head to sort itself out, and you have to take that time.

[di]

Thanks everyone, I'm afraid I've become expert at making lists...it's the sticking to them

I have moments of great motivation, usually when I'm either out or in bed...in my head it's all so simple. Then reality hits and faced with it, all motivation is gone.

[zazen999]

I have long periods of malaise; believe it or not.

I have a white board that I use to put up things that need doing round the house which are then ticked rather than crossed out once done. Like this week with being ill, I've had an ongoing list of work stuff to do, I put a small square box against each one on my list, which then gets ticked when each one is done so that I know I've done it. Now I'm back at work, I'm working through the tick boxes today and once done [only a couple more to do] I am having lunch.

[Jeanied]

I know just how you feel Di because I am the same. I have had help from some lovely friends which usually gets me started but I still find it really tough.
Still I am trying to get over some pretty horrific major life events so I decided not to be tough on myself.

[Piggle]

Yes been there done that too - blamed myself , cried, screamed, went numb and then felt empty. Went to the docs who told me rather uselessly .. don't worry love it happens to us all - go and get your hair cut and have a nice relaxing bath. ( modern medicine.. can't beat it!)

Bear with me but I found that doing yoga really helped me work out how I was actually really feeling rather than how I thought I was feeling ( does that make sense?). It taught me to live in my body rather than in my head all the time ... ( yikes I sound like a right nutter ).

As the cliche says it all turned out better in the end but it's hard to see that when the road you are going down suddenly ends up with a bloody great big pot hole in the middle.

Don't beat yourself up if some days you feel angry / upset / rubbish and some days you feel ok - putting pressure on yourself to feel a certain way just creates more pressure on yourself.

As for making lists - I make lists all the time anyway , my life is one big list as I have to be ordered.

I am sending positive thoughts your way.

[VirginVegGrower]

Di, remember that no mountain is too great to climb...with the right friends to guide you. There is light at the end of your tunnel. You just need help finding it.