How do you snap out of it?

[VirginVegGrower]

TS my son has been putting away his own undies since two. I did make a game of it. If I ask him to Hoover for me, he's now 14, it's done without complaint. I have taught both son and daughter same. They can cook a meal, get themselves breakfast, drinks, lunch if asked. But you can't teach a guy motivation to want to. That's a female thing!

[di]

Totally out of the blue, and unprompted, Ash said to me this morning...'Mummy, I don't think it's fair that you should have to do all the housework, me and Daisy should really help.' We've sat and made a list of what needs to be done in his room and have so far ticked off three jobs .....Daisy's at the pub...no gender inequality in this house

Thank you, I've got a long way to go but you've all given me at least a little positivity to get me on the right track. xx

[weekendwellies]

I have been exactly where you are Di. Cut yourself some slack. Its tough raising kids on your own. First thing to remember is that you can do anything for 15 minutes. Then have a break (cup of tea, browse on the pc, or move onto another task for 15 minutes.) Lists are good, but dont feel you have to get everything done just because it is on your list. Most jobs around the house dont take longer than 15 minutes. And if by some chance they do, then leave it after 15, do something else, then come back to it later, or even on another day. The world wont stop spinning because you didnt vacuum the stairs today.

[di]

I've got an alarm clock for that....I set it for ten or fifteen minutes and then hit the snooze button when I'm done to see how much I can do before it goes off again. It also helps me to stay focussed...I find my biggest problem is flitting from one job to another, just causing more chaos in the process...when the buzzer goes off downstairs and I realise I'm upstairs pottering, it reminds me of what I should be doing. x

[jackyspratty]

Completely agree with evrything said Di . As weekend wellies said make the list tasks do able! Ive been tackling my hallway for 2 year!!!! The task seemed too massive, then I had health set backs etc. Now I say 2 hours a day sanding (at the moment) is manaegaeable! It might not look any different at the moment but I know Im getting there little by little. Also if i said today will clean house, its the same, too large a task! Today I will sort out the cupboard, weed bed 1 at lotty or whatever, Short and sweet! Plus as said take time to sit and reflect on what you have done! Had a good natter with kids, sorted out getting the pets for the kids........lots of things you are already doing that you dont see!

I could post pictures f my house/garden/lotty to make you feel better!!!!


A friend of mine employed me to clean her house as she was too busy a work etc. Imho her house was fantastic to clean because it wasnt cluttered like mine, and really was easy to do in an hour and a half! Unlike mine!! HOwever becuase I make bread/jam etc and dig the lotty etc she makes comments that Im a supermum, I pointed out that Im not, I just dont insist on a polished varnished floor in the hallway! Set your own standards, dont compare yourself to others. Sure Id like a cleaner tidier house, but at this stage in the game I have other priorities.

[cardiffsteve]

If you get stressed with the kids and that goes for anyone, stick a stamp on them, post them down to me in Cardiff and I'll entertain them for a day or two!.
They'll either enjoy themselves or come home screaming for mum!

[di]

Donna, it's not that I want an immaculate house, it would probably scare the hell out of me! Our local vicar popped to see me over Christmas, when I apologised for the mess his words were ' I would be more concerned if it were tidy, that's just not you'....still don't quite know how to take that but what I think he meant was that he knows me, knows I'm a little scatty at times and also knows my priorities aren't for order. I'd just like for it to be a little less chaotic. I certainly wouldn't say I could be a candidate for How Clean is Your House...I like cleaning and am hot on hygiene, but don't know if anyone can remember the muddled homes of the Anthea Turner programme? That's where it's at...piles of clutter here there and everywhere, none of it stuff I want to throw out but I know I have to start throwing things away or finding new homes.

Steve, an hour with DS and I think you'd be the one screaming! He's a little sweety and actually pretty good, most of the time, for me...put him with a stranger and the mad side comes out

[VirginVegGrower]

I regularly turn out. Tackle a pile a day. Have a mug of coffee and boxes or bin bags. Kids are the priority, so go through their old clothes. Bin bag to charity shop...tick. Next books/mags...box for books to charity shop or school library, mags to doctor's surgery...tick. Shoes or clothes not worn in last twelve months...off to the clothing bank...tick. That sort of thing will have it licked.
Don't know how old you are, but "Moves like Jagger" in the background can have me doing anything. Music is a great lift and working to a beat gets any army through. Then sit back, look at that space, smile and feel good.

[VirginVegGrower]

Oh, forgot to add. Ignore the pious old s@d. He probably has a cleaner anyhow

[cardiffsteve]

Di, I been told I'm very good with kids. I've got none of my own but got lots of nephew, nieces aand great nephews and great nieces

[di]

Oh, forgot to add. Ignore the pious old s@d. He probably has a cleaner anyhow

He's actually an amazing chap...and no, I don't think he has a cleaner, in fact, I think he lives much like me! He popped round for a very impromptu coffee, natter and hug whilst suffering a Boxing Day hangover...he likes to take his mission out to as many pubs as he can on Boxing Day. A shame more vicars couldn't be like him. x

[VirginVegGrower]

Then I take back my worms...

[Two_Sheds]

I regularly turn out. Tackle a pile a day. ... "Moves like Jagger" ...can have me doing anything.

Great track, I love it.
I hate it when Himself has a turn out: 6 sacks of old clothes I just can't deal with, I need a little at a time. I have a eBay box and a charity box. If something new comes into the house, something old must leave*


* actually this isn't working. I've just counted 29 work shirts & 30 casual shirts in his wardrobe, and his socks are filling & overflowing 2 drawers.
** I have a stash too, it's fabric though, not socks, and is of course essential to my muse Same as seeds

[di]

My fabric stash is the one thing that no helpful, decluttering friend will be allowed to touch I do admit though that it's time for me to get back to my crafting.

Ash's room is almost finished. One large box of books for charity, one smaller for the loft (some treasures can't just be thrown out), two bags of clothes that don't fit and three bags of tat, that wasn't even fit for charity,in the bin......and I've come downstairs to an explosion of puzzles on the living room floor

[VirginVegGrower]

But you make a game of that. Who can clean up the puzzles the quickest. Find two prizes. One of a better nature than the other. You stand there and supervise...ahem judge. They do the work!