Dating Agencies,

[snohare]

If you don't like it Di, get out now and find another way to make friends.

Och well, I wouldn't do anything purely or even largely because of what we say on the Vine ! ( Can you imagine the mayhem..the poor quality tattie chitting...)

But on the other hand...often it pays to go outside of your comfort zone. Admittedly this is coming from a person whose comfort zone is being outside his comfort zone, and I've ended up so far away from my comfort zone that I may never see it again...but personal development is always both exciting and worrying !
If you see what I mean ?
You are no naive teenager Di, you'll work it out.

[Seahorse]

I'm with snohare on this. As long as you're meeting in a safe place (I'm sure you would be!) what's wrong with taking a chance on someone? I know there are all manner of horror stories about stalkers and perverts but the reality is much, much more likely that if you've got as far as chatting long enough to meet up, disappointment will be the worst outcome!

[veggiechicken]

So.....I've got my first 'want to meet' Looks OK, although not 44

I don't like this, I've never 'dated' like that before.

If Di says she doesn't like this - end of story. Its not a question of risk - if you don't like it you don't do it.

[di]

You see, maybe I'm wrong, this has always been the way I view 'dangers of the internet'....I know some people are very careful disclosing their real names and even more so their children's. In my mind, the bigger threat is on my doorstep...when I call one of the kiddies and a possible peadophile over hears...when I catch a bus home from town and some pervert/stalker decides to follow me...it's happened just the once(and I was considerate enough to a mate to go to her house instead )...I could go to the pub tonight, meet someone that 'seems' really genuine, they turn out to be married at best, a serial killer at worst.

Obviously, the tricky thing with online is, are the photos real? Are they telling the truth about their age? Have they got really stinky breath or bad BO? I guess they're things that you'll never find out until that meet.

The thing that worries me more now is me. Not saying for sympathy or big ups...and not being rude but please don't give...I'm not at my most confident right now(am working on it ). Nattering on the internet is one thing...meeting face to face, terrifies me.

On the positive, I'm getting my haircut tomorrow or Thursday so maybe I can do away with the wide brimmed extra large caps

[di]

Thanks VC...you always get in there when I'm typing though! Again not a sympathy call. It's not been the best few months and issues I thought I overcame years and years ago, surrounding self esteem and looks, have come back. I know I can't spend the rest of my life under a cap with eyes down and only go to town with a mate to hold my hand...so I'm working on that too...so when I slack on housework, I may be being busy with the old self issues

Maybe for the next few weeks or months, my dating will get to be done behind a computer screen...or maybe someone will gain my trust and help me get out there again...ultimately though, I know that's my job, but a hand to hold to get me there wouldn't go amiss.

Thank you everyone. I know we've never met...well a couple of you I have...but I still value your opinions, support and humour and know it's all genuine.....although I must admit I'm a bit spooked about stories of Steve following folk to bed...but that's why I stay off the chat thread xx

[veggiechicken]

I thought it was Colin who was the follower, not Steve. You don't mean they're both at it?

[rustylady]

They're all at it Veggie, only on t'internet though

[di]

Two stalkers on the vine???

[rustylady]

Di, you're doing fantastic. At least you're talking about your fears and trepidations, even if it's only to us. It's better then keeping it all bottled up inside. We are real, even if you've never even met us, and the Vine is a great community of wonderful people.

[Seahorse]

Whether you want to be bigged up or not, you're a beautiful woman Di! Even if you weren't though, I don't think it would matter. I don't imagine you're looking for someone who is shallow enough to want a plastic trophy wife. Genuine, loving partners see the inner beauty of their mate, regardless of outward appearances.

[veggiechicken]

Two stalkers on the vine???

Cabbage stalkers! No worries there.

[di]

Thanks Claire.xx

Now, can we try and separate this thread from the doggy ideas one...I normally have such a clean mind

[cardiffsteve]

.....although I must admit I'm a bit spooked about stories of Steve following folk to bed...but that's why I stay off the chat thread xx

But, but but, arrgh!

It was Colin not me.
I'm a good boy

[lottie dolly]

Oh help, I am either naive in the extreme or just not up on teenspeak

your not on your own,

[ladylottie]

Obviously, the tricky thing with online is, are the photos real? Are they telling the truth about their age? Have they got really stinky breath or bad BO? I guess they're things that you'll never find out until that meet.

Some time ago I tried this online dating (a big thing for me at my age - over 60!) and I met a really nice man. We emailed back and forth for weeks and weeks and found that we had a lot in common. Then we chatted on the phone for weeks - still got on really well. I'd seen lots of photos of him and his house etc.,and everything seemed perfect. Sadly, when we did meet up, he had the most awful bad breath It was such a shame, he was so nice but I just couldn't go along with it.

Every now and then I think I'd like to have another try at online dating but it's so upsetting when you think everything is fine and then when you meet up there's a problem. In some ways it's worse because you both know that you really like one another to have got to the meeting up stage so is it better to have a quick meet up earlier on?